I love it when Martin fans insist he’s good at poetry when he’s aggressively mediocre (1) canonically per the characters’ assertions, (2) based on his actual canonical poems, and (3) via word of God. Do you like his character as written or not.
itt can we please talk about all the lowkey, background but hilarious things that happened in magnus canon
because i will never be over
a dude finally being broken out of a box he was stuck in for DAYS to see peter lukas shrug and hand mikaele salesa a £20 note
a few thousand worms in a dress texted jon for weeks about stomach bugs
nikola cheerfully and insistently calling Elias by his first name
tim is known for oversharing to his colleagues about his dating life.
jon goes knocking on the door of a powerful avatar with a multiple body count and gets offered a cup of tea
mannequin in a circus outfit susurrates for an hour into a guy’s ear about how she’s going to flense him and he just continues to unplug her murder drain
mary keay calling her son a weakling for not finishing the job of skinning her
once again, just: everything simon fairchild ever does, in general
naomi herne was told evan lukas had a problem with his heart that was congenitali will never recover from this one
everything about gertrude and explosives tbh
sasha took worms out of jon’s leg with a corkscrew?? this is a thing that happened?? in just season 1??? what the heck is this fandom???????
(mag100 doesn’t count because all of it is centre stage hilarious)
I don’t even have the mental fortitude to get into the absolute circus show that is season 4 right now except for martin being literally too gay for sinister masterplans to function
Peter: no jonah i am not paying for you to have the entire interior of the institute covered with thousands of hand carved eyes inlaid with gold and emeralds
Jonah, his eyes enormous: you disown jonah? you throw him out onto the street to live destitute and starving? oh! oh! jail for peter! jail for peter for One Thousand Years!!!!
OP, I appreciate your brain
lol im glad someone does! to be fair. the conversation would be fairly similar in canon except jonah’s response would be an alarmingly detailed death threat and peter just chortling.
i do love that peter is canonically deeply entertained by jonah. like he shows up making jokes for his benefit bc he knows he’s listening and laughing at him for getting owned by Martin and sent off to prison.
and i love when he’s like ‘he’d rather die than admit it’ like. whelp. if im gonna run the institute dedicated the embodiment of having your secrets and failings known and judged better start somewhere.
and he was RIGHT. it totally got to jonah. like in mag 160 he takes time out of his evil monologue to explain how he would have had to leave anyway so jon didn’t Know something about him. and it has such ‘i meant to do that. no really’ vibes.
like originally he was probably planning to hide out on the tundra or something. and then instead. prison.
also. Peter totally hung a very unflattering mugshot of elias on the wall in his office#probably right across from the giant portrait of jonah magnus behind the desk so he he has to look at it every time he sees thru the portrait’s eyes.
