Hi hi posting from my bed at midnight to tell you that I dreamed I was listening to an ep of the Magnus archives and Jon says, “it says here this statement is meant to be rapped” so he cleared his heist and got to it and two lines in I jolted awake like I was having a nightmare which in a way
Helen Distortion- replaced michael distortion thinks herself jon’s friend pops up randomly to cause chaos and have fun all around a good time
Elias Bouchard- avatar of the beholding head of the institute killed gertrude and brutally pipe murdered jurgen leitner manipulated jon into his perfect archivist to start the eyepocalypse
im sick to death of the girlboss phenomenom. appreciate strugglewomen or we’ll never get anything done around here
no more “she has the only braincell of the group”. i want more women who fail at tasks that are unimaginable to fail at. we need more pathetic wet meow meows who are women. literally open your heart to strugglewomen because theyre all we have left in this fucked up world
if you tell someone to do a marge simpson voice they always start with saying “homer” ans if you tell someone to do a lois griffin voice they always start with “petah”. which is the name of their husbands instead of their own…..
I wonder if Elias uses his Beholding powers to deal with mundanities. we know he watches his archivists and archival assistants, but that’s hardly trivial; he’s got centuries of plans hinging on his Archives, so it stands to reason that he would keep an eye on them, as it were.
when he misplaces something, does he look for it with his many extraneous eyes? likewise, does he check the traffic through the eyes of others before making his commute? I need to know every last detail of his boring little academic businessman life.
i think tumblr should start romanticising necrophilia
actually allow me to explore this further: i love you so much i dig up your grave. i love you so much not even death can keep you apart from me. i clean you up, dress you in your best clothes, lay you down on my bed, kiss your cold rotting lips. none of us are getting out of this.
Quote from Circe by Madeline Miller <3 Also, I really wanted to make a web weave kind of thing, so I put even more quotes I liked for their relationship under the cut:
We all love the “becoming the very thing you sought to destroy,” trope. but I have a growing fondness for “destroying the very thing you sought to become”
there’s so many versions of it is the thing.
like, you can crush it in your fury at being denied
you can look at it clear-eyed and realize it can’t morally be permitted to exist
you can find that your imposition of your will on the world had an impact that made your goal impossible to ever realize
and on and on
but they’re all going to have that same internal rending feeling of killing off the part of yourself that was invested in the dream.
mispell prev tags as prey tags to establish a savage, premordial relationship with your mutuals in which either of you can be ambushed, attacked and maimed for your flesh at any moment
The whole podcast is about Jonah and Jon spinning into each other’s orbits until they form a binary unit together. There would be no king of a ruined world without the archive and vice versa. They are irrevocably bound together. The one thing the finale got right is that they die minutes apart from each other and by the same blade.
My pet peeve in jonelias fics is when Jon is completely disinterested in Elias. Like he may not like Elias but you cannot tell me that man isn’t obsessed with Elias too