my brother works on a boat so when he rants about his job I can’t take it seriously because he keeps angrily referring to his boss as “captain”. like sorry ur having 19th century sailor problems my guy
my brother works on a boat so when he rants about his job I can’t take it seriously because he keeps angrily referring to his boss as “captain”. like sorry ur having 19th century sailor problems my guy

ancient terror is lonely
They made divorce so expensive because they knew ppl would do it for kink reasons
Me & my man getting our bi-yearly divorce so we can yell accusations at each other & then have a hot passionate extramarital affair for about 3 days before we re-marry
May I introduce you to my 23rd husband? (it’s been the same guy 23 times)
it’s always very entertaining when someone is so afraid of dying that they decide they’re going to defeat death itself and in the process of pursuing this entirely reasonable and achievable goal end up inventing Death Two
non-exhaustive list of things that are Death Two:
- immortality
- body hopping/possession
- de-ageing
- vampirism (and other states of undeadness)
- exchanging the weaknesses of the flesh for the superiority of the machine
- ascending to godhood/sainthood
- suspended animation
- uploading your consciousness into a virtual reality
- cloning
- time travel