thinks about researcher Jon who admires Elias and his knowledge, how he can answer almost every question. Jon envying Elias for it, how he is better at making a conversation, casual chats, how he always knows what to say. Jon doesn’t understand why others think Elias is boring or “a waste of suit”. Jon who sometimes sees himself just a little bit better than others because he can see the fascinating man Elias is (Jonah smiling indulgently at those thoughts, thinks “soon enough you will know me better than anyone else” and isn’t that thought terrifying?)
Jon who wants to be Elias and tries to imitate him as he is made Head Archivist. admiration and paranoia battling as he tries to find Gertrude’s murderer. a part of him screams Elias but it can’t be him, right?
s3 and first half of s4 Jon thinking “I am not like you, I can’t be like you”. s4 and s5 Jon realising “I am just like you” <- grief stricken. s4 Jon who is angry and tired and hungry. Jon who hates Elias with passion because he isn’t allowed to hate anyone and Elias won’t even have the courtesy to let Jon see him (what would he do then? Jon isn’t sure. yell at Elias probably. or maybe the sight of the only person who doesn’t seem to hate him would make it just a little bit easier to breathe)
Jon thinking “I am just like you” over and over as he ascends to the Panopticon, as he kills Jonah and takes his place as the Pupil