---
layout:          post
title:           "MAG176.06 - MAG Bloopers - Totally Normal Real Humans"
date:            2020-08-27 12:00:00 -0400
episode_type:      special
tags:            [Bloopers, Special]
voiced:          [Alexander Newall, Fay Roberts, Ian Hayles, Francesca Renée Reid, Paul Sims, Sue Sims, Lydia Nicholas, Jonathan Sims, Mike LeBeau, Frank Voss, Ben Meredith]
categories:			"tma"
podcasts: ["tma"]
title_prefix:	"MAG"
prev_categories: ["tma"]
prev_prefixes: ["MAG"]
next_categories: ["tma"]
next_prefixes: ["MAG"]
prev_episode:   ['17605-podukhorrorpanel']
next_episode:   ['177']
prev_episode_num:		['176.05']
next_episode_num:		['177']
prev_episode_title:		["MAG - Pod UK Horror Panel"]
next_episode_title:		["Wonderland"]
episode_title:   'MAG Bloopers - Totally Normal Real Humans'
episode_number:  '176.06'
summary:         "<strong>The Magnus Archives</strong> is brought to you by folks who are completely serene and professional humans at all times, on and off-recording. Totally and absolutely. <br/><br/>Featuring voices of: Alexander J Newall, Fay Roberts, Ian Hayles, Francesca Renée Reid, Paul Sims, Sue Sims, Lydia Nicholas, Jonathan Sims, Mike LeBeau, Frank Voss, Ben Meredith."
content_flags:   [Explicit Language]
acast_url:       https://play.acast.com/s/themagnusarchives/magbloopers-totallynormalrealhumans
formats: 
  Google Doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/14kZySfoEcrKwfBWOySYKIZXdF_e2y_THwdvIAGElozw/edit
official:        false
unofficial:      https://snarp.tumblr.com/
unofficial_name: snarp
wiki_url:        
---

##### [CLICK]

#### ALEX NEWALL

-- We can use "nondescript" for normal-looking... Again, I've never known anyone to say the word "nondescript" in conversation.

#### FAY ROBERTS

_[forebodingly]_ *You* would.

##### [ALEX SNORTS]

#### FAY ROBERTS

*I* might.

##### [ALEX LAUGHS]

But normal people might not...

#### IAN HAYLES

Not "normal people," people who aren't in this room.

#### ALEX NEWALL

I've done a lot of research to *normals,* and apparently --

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### FRANCESCA REID

This is how they converse?

##### [CLICK]


------


##### [CLICK]

#### PAUL SIMS

Uh...

#### SUE SIMS

_[overlapping, dramatically]_ *-- But when the blast of war --*[^1]

[^1]: Shakespeare's *Henry V,* Act 3, Scene 1. From a famous speech by Henry to his troops, which begins "Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more."

#### PAUL SIMS

...is this a dagger that I see before me?[^2]

[^2]: *Macbeth,* Act 2, Scene 1.

#### ALEX NEWALL

_[overlapping]_ Excellent.

#### PAUL SIMS

It's --

#### SUE SIMS

_[overlapping, matter-of-factly]_ -- no, it's me.

#### PAUL SIMS

_[calmly]_ Okay.

##### [CLICK]


------


##### [CLICK]

##### [FROM EPISODE 117, 'TESTAMENT':]

#### LYDIA NICHOLAS / MELANIE

I'll play it their way for now. But, _[stomach growling]_ when it comes down to it --

#### ALEX NEWALL

Sorry, got your stomach.

#### LYDIA NICHOLAS

-- my stomach! I'm really hungry, Alex! Look, it's a *growl* -- it's atmospheric, it won't foul the --

#### ALEX NEWALL

It sounds like a creaking ship.

##### [LAUGHTER]

It was like a ship in a storm. _[wood-creaking noises]_

#### LYDIA NICHOLAS

Look, mate, I'm hungry all the time. -- should I just go away, get chips, and come back?

#### ALEX NEWALL

No, you're alright.

#### LYDIA NICHOLAS

You *say* that.

##### [CLICK]


------


##### [CLICK]

##### [FROM EPISODE 114, 'CRACKED FOUNDATION':]

#### JONNY SIMS / ARCHIVIST

Now, uh, if you'll excuse me.

#### MIKE LEBEAU / TIM

Oh, uh, uh, right --

#### JONNY SIMS / ARCHIVIST

Yes, well, you're not the only one that knows his way around the tunnels.

#### ALEX NEWALL

And we have the eternal question: face-to-face, or butt-to-butt?

#### JONNY SIMS

Yup, yup, yup.

#### MIKE LEBEAU

_[overlapping]_ _[laughs]_ Yeah, there's some -- it's gonna have to happen!

#### ALEX NEWALL

Okay, we're gonna do another take, I need something to cut across...

#### JONNY SIMS

Yep.

#### MIKE LEBEAU

Okay.

#### ALEX NEWALL

Ummm...

#### JONNY SIMS

_[quietly, directly into microphone]_ Butt to butt.

##### [CLICK]


------


##### [CLICK]

##### [FROM EPISODE 114, 'CRACKED FOUNDATION':]

#### JONNY SIMS / ARCHIVIST

I would like to hear how *you've* been doing.

#### MIKE LEBEAU / TIM

Me? Oh, I've been just __fine__. I'll see you later.

#### JONNY SIMS / ARCHIVIST

You're sure? You've not not -- There is *nothing* you want to say to me.

#### MIKE LEBEAU / TIM

Not with that *thong* --

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### MIKE LEBEAU

*Not with that thong on!*

#### JONNY SIMS

Wooooow.

#### ALEX NEWALL

Put your pants on and we'll talk!

#### MIKE LEBEAU

Well, there is a reason to believe that the Archivist conversations are always done naked, but I think I've just proved it.

##### [CLICK]


------


##### [CLICK]

##### [FROM EPISODE 114, 'CRACKED FOUNDATION':]

#### ALEX NEWALL

Go from top; also, for the "all clear," could you do this one -- louder? I don't know --

#### FRANK VOSS

I don't know why, but you said "louder" and in my head I was like -- "higher pitched?!"

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX NEWALL AND JONNY SIMS

_[falsetto]_ "All clear?"

#### FRANK VOSS

Basically.

#### ALEX NEWALL

_[falsetto]_ It's me, Terrence, the very small air-raid warden!

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### FAY ROBERTS

...the fuck...?

#### JONNY SIMS

...anyway...

##### [ALEX IS STILL LAUGHING]

#### FAY ROBERTS

We don't do well with the heat, here.

#### JONNY SIMS

Oh, we have fun.

#### ALEX NEWALL

Um, so yeah, if you can go, uh, louder with it --

#### JONNY SIMS

Editor's Note: We're having a *great* time.

#### FRANK VOSS

Yeah!

#### FAY ROBERTS

_[goofy voice]_ Mm, it's so warm.

##### [CLICK]


------


##### [CLICK]

#### ALEX NEWALL

Go a little bit higher.

#### MIKE LEBEAU

_[falsetto]_ "Good!" _[snort]_ _[more-normal]_ "Good. Good!"

#### ALEX NEWALL

-- the moment you're going, _[lower]_ "Good," it should be _[higher]_ "Good!" "Good!"

#### MIKE LEBEAU

_[overlapping]_ "Good!" All right.

#### ALEX NEWALL

"Good!", you *fffucking dickhead.*

#### MIKE LEBEAU

_[overlapping]_ Fucking... *Fuck __you__!* Ran away from me, just like my dad!

#### ALEX NEWALL

_[wailing]_ *I loved you!*

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY SIMS

How's the plane?

#### ALEX NEWALL

Still going by.

#### MIKE LEBEAU

What is it, is it a jet, or is it a propjet?

##### [PAUSE]

#### ALEX NEWALL

Twin-turbine.

#### MIKE LEBEAU

*Really.* _[laugh]_ Amazing!

#### ALEX NEWALL

I should have done -- I'd've been *amazing* on a submarine! Got...

##### [MIKE LAUGHS]

#### JONNY SIMS

_[quietly]_ Okay...

##### [CLICK]


------


##### [CLICK]

#### ALEX NEWALL

Ben and -- Zim, sorry, can you talk amongst yourselves for a second?

#### BEN MEREDITH

_[rapid monotone]_ I am talking to you like a normal human being.

#### FRANK VOSS

_[rapid monotone]_ Yes. This is a conversation that normal human beings would have.

#### BEN MEREDITH

_[rapid monotone]_ Excellent. Yes.

#### FRANK VOSS

_[overlapping, rapid monotone]_ Fantastic.

##### [THEY LAUGH AT THEIR OWN HUMANITY]

#### ALEX NEWALL

-- and now I've gone too far the other way -- again -- that was *golden,* by the way, that's *exactly* what I need.

##### [ALEX AND FRANK LAUGH]

#### BEN MEREDITH

That's official: This is what Alex thinks human interaction looks like.

#### FRANK VOSS

I mean, it makes sense, he grew up on a farm.

#### BEN MEREDITH

That's how you talk to sheep, I hear.

#### FRANK VOSS

*Yes.*

##### [FRANK AND BEN LAUGH]

#### ALEX NEWALL

-- who's on mic four...?

#### FAY ROBERTS

Uh, that would be me.

#### ALEX NEWALL

'kay, can all *three* of you have a human interaction, now?

#### FAY ROBERTS

I... I'm not sure I really want to, if I'm honest.

#### FRANK VOSS

I mean, it's very simple, you just, you know -- you say, "hello, I'm a human," and, uh...

#### BEN MEREDITH

You just --

#### FAY ROBERTS

_[overlapping]_ _[earnestly]_ Really? "H-h-hello, I'm a human...?" Like that?

#### BEN MEREDITH

_[rapid monotone]_ *Exactly,* yes, that was very convincing, I am also a human, hello.

#### FAY ROBERTS

I feel convinced.

#### FRANK VOSS

_[rapid monotone]_ Yes, I, three, am human.

#### BEN MEREDITH

_[monotone]_ I am continuing to talk like a human.

#### ALEX NEWALL

_[snort]_ Okay.

##### [CLICK]


------


##### [CLICK]

#### SUE SIMS

_[solemnly]_ Mary had a little lamb. Mary had a little lamb. One-two-one-two. Can you hear me, Mother?

##### [LAUGHTER]

##### [CLICK]


------


##### [CLICK]

#### ALEX NEWALL

Okay, let's go again from top.

#### JONNY SIMS

Uh-huh...

#### ALEX NEWALL

Ben: you crept closer and closer and closer...

#### BEN MEREDITH

Well, damn...!

#### JONNY SIMS

_[squeaky voice, apparently mimicking Alex]_ To the mic...!

#### ALEX NEWALL

You're a good villain! You know, a good villain needs to *make love* to the microphone...!

##### [LAUGHTER, OVERLAPPING]

#### ALEX NEWALL

But, uh, _[femme fatale voice]_ you're kind of getting all up in my grill, Ben...

#### BEN MEREDITH

_[overlapping]_ _[femme fatale voice]_ Sure, yeah...

#### ALEX NEWALL

...You're getting all up into my pop filters, Ben.

Um...

#### JONNY SIMS

_[villainous]_ Make love to the microphone -- make *hate* to the audience!

#### BEN MEREDITH

I'm just very *intimate* with Beholding.

##### [ALEX AND BEN LAUGH LOUDLY; OTHERS MAKE LOWER, DISGUSTED NOISES. THERE IS A CLEAR "UGH" FROM FRANK VOSS.]

##### [CLICK]