---
layout:          post
title:           "MAG189.02 - Twilight Abyss - Part 1"
date:            2020-12-10 11:00:00 -0400
categories:      incomplete
tags:            []
voiced:          []
episode_title:   'Twilight Abyss - Part 1'
episode_number:  '189.02'
summary:         "Welcome to the first instalment of Jonny's improvised horror roleplay game! <br/><br/>In this first episode of three, Jonny, Ben, Lydia & Lowri collaborate to create characters & set them on a journey of infinite dread, horror and health code violations..."
content_flags:   ["Innuendo","Mentions of: heights, death, mild child peril"]
acast_url:       https://play.acast.com/s/themagnusarchives/magtheblindabyss-part1
formats: 
  # DOCX:   
  # PDF: 
  # Google Doc: 
official:        false
unofficial:      
unofficial_name: 
unfinished:      true
wiki_url:        
---

hi everyone alex here just taking a
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and it's available to purchase right now
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get started on your own epic journey
knowing that at the same time you're
helping to support your favorite horror
podcast
thanks
hello everyone it's johnny
we're playing a game what game you ask i
don't know
nobody asked me to do this like two days
ago so
we're finding out together uh
hello larry sorry to throw you under the
bus immediately
it is going to be a horror game rpg
set in well we'll figure it out with a
title of
who knows and uh it's gonna be using a
system
of my own design so the real horror is
the unknown
the real horror is the unknown oh we
solved it yes
and i am bringing that horror
to you all in your ears let us meet our
players
so first up there is ben meredith
hello who are you ben i don't know
okay no we've done the horror of the
unknown the audience needs to know
oh i'm i'm ben i play elias
i'd imagine you'd know that by now i'm
also another podcast
also by the rest quill go listen to them
thank you
and next up is to my right
in my mind because obviously we are in
fact miles and miles apart
is lydia nicholas who are you lydia
i'm amused to start with there was a lot
of arguing about alphabetical order
uh before this and i
should not have come at this point so
johnny is already messing with me thank
you johnny the true horror is mr sims
uh i'm lydia nicholas i play melanie
in magnus and i play
various characters in rusty cool gaming
okay and finally we have uh lowry hello
i am lori and i produce the magnus
archives and i edit rusty quilt gaming
it's great go listen to that as well
listen to it also uh lowry is what
you might think of as an easter egg
voice in
magnus you know you could turn up
sometimes
sometimes in roles here and there just a
hint of welsh somewhere
yeah sometimes we'll be like this role
it's just not welsh enough
yeah so sort of like alex you've
actually done an impression of johnny
for pickups several times and no one's
yeah it's a noticed welsh in this one i
don't know why probably the horror yeah
what's actually uh fun fact a lot of
listeners won't know
is that since episode 102 all my lines
have actually been delivered by lowry
god i wish i was that good we just twist
them in post-production
let's let's let's figure out what we're
playing
so first up we're going to need a
setting where do we want the horror to
occur
can it be somewhere warm just because
it's really cool yeah it could be
somewhere warm
oh i'm really hot at the moment but sure
oh it'll involve less acting
right so okay let's split the difference
go with somewhere like tepee
you know it's on london some were just
just really temperate
like the horrors who occur in a bath
that i've left for three hours
we could have yeah we could have a
horror in a spa oh yeah
just for horror why not an abandoned spa
an abandoned water park or an abandoned
water
we'll see how we'll see how things uh
we'll see how things feel so
adventure is going to take place in a
water park and i am now going to roll up
the title because i have created
entirely for my own amusement this is
not available through mcguffin and
company
mine and sasha's games company it's not
available anywhere except
on my computer i've i've created
a cosmic horror sort of cthulhu-esque
title generator do you know how much
people would pay for that advertising
space for like the thing that you're
like
available on my computer this cosmic
title is mine it's really suitable for
fans of the magnus archives and rusty
cool gaming
may be stellar firmer as well since you
like a beat it's mine
yes it's mine lid you could they can't
have it
suitable for them they can't have it i
don't know maybe maybe i'll
format it as a pdf i'll whip out my
graphic design skills you're gonna need
to let me know if you actually want to
do that
because papyrus if i don't cut that out
there's gonna be demand
so i'm gonna say how many words do we
want this title to be
probably three or four yeah i was going
for four or five so
okay well okay let's let's say let's say
uh
four but one of them is going to be a
preposition yeah because you want a
night of the living dead for a walk
absolutely absolutely words we've got
uh we've got abyss
twilight and
75 soldier oh
which is unexpected but interesting
and finally our preposition is before
this abyss before soldier someone like
before the abyss of the twilight soldier
or the twilight abyss the twilight
before the soldier abyss
you know what i don't think i'm not i'm
not feeling the word soldier in this one
spa yeah yeah we're in a water park
just having a nice day and then a rambo
yeah i i've decided uh i've i've decided
to discount soldier because
yeah otherwise it's it's waterpark rambo
you know with cosmic we are actually
going for straight horror here
there may be absurd elements but the
idea that
rambo rocks up maybe absurd too
absurd uh the new word is blind oh so
it will be before the twilight of the
blind abyss
so we are playing the adventure before
the twilight of the blind
abyss oh so it's actually midday then if
it's before twilight it's nice
well i mean to begin with to begin with
okay gets darker and
uh it will be at a water park so who do
you want to be playing let's let's have
some character creation
you could be a water park attendant you
could be a water park attendee
those are basically the options i think
i would like to play
a an investigator from the board of
health and safety
here to test the hygiene in the water
park
brilliant that's nice i was gonna say
i'd quite like to be the caretaker of
the water park
caretaker brilliant are you wearing a
rubber mask are we gonna have to take
off at some point
yes and lid i mean i'm torn between
either being management who is
deeply invested in uh not receiving a
poor health and safety
rating or
lower management who are only mildly
invested in that
and also don't have any idea what's
going on or a guest
pretending to be one would you be one of
those uh a summer teen
who's like got a part-time job at the
water park uh yeah
yeah i could i could do i could do that
but i've i'm trying for management
so like ah
vicious summer teen you really think
that your
your summer waterpark job is is going
somewhere this is yes
yes brilliant the serious summer teen
summer teen lifeguard yes
yes oh i think you were a lifeguard in
the last thing we played
together in um oh no i was a lifeguard
that was afraid of water
yeah yeah yeah but that was comedy and
this is serious
yeah this is definitely going to be
serious this deeply seriously
i just really like playing livestream
serious serious horror in a serious
water park
with a serious blind abyss twilight
issue it's got some really bad
twilight problems oh my god are there
shiny vampires
no there are not shiny vampires serious
vampires
very very matte vampires i can't believe
none of you are taking this seriously
so basic system 2d6
your standard target is an 8 it can
increase to a 10 or 12 if it's really
hard
or go down to a 6 if it's very easy
you'll have
four four sort of traits for four
aspects
if one of them is relevant you can lower
it by two you can also
lower your target by two by essentially
i've stolen the devil's bargain mechanic
from blades in the dark
which is if you negotiate a bad
consequence with me
it will make it easier for you you'll
also have a couple of
abilities that you can just things you
can just do everything
is broadly hit point based you'll start
with seven hit points
if you take physical damage you lose hit
points if you get scared you might lose
hit points
if you really embarrass yourself maybe
you'll lose hit points
so this this represents physical
emotional
and psychological strength yeah it's
just it's just it's just how many hits
you can take whatever form the hits come
in
tammy you can take quite a real to so if
you insult us
really badly maybe it's a hit point
maybe it's a hit point
cool yeah and uh if you're if you're out
of hit points you are incapacitated
as appropriate maybe you run away party
crime yeah maybe you may yeah maybe you
die if you lose your last hit point like
wrestling the worm that resides within
the earth
and silently bides its time until it
rises and
wipes humanity from the face of its
planet then probably you die then
probably run away crying because that
worm
has some real zingers it's it's very
thinking about cruel jibes less the
spirit of the staircase more the spirit
of the eternal void
just spend two eons just sat in the
center of planet earth being like
i should have said
i should have said you're the spineless
one
[Laughter]
so ben you're an investigator how would
you how are you imagining him how are
you picturing or
or her or them i'll i'll i'll i'll go
with a with a bloke
for now and i think i mean
we're at a water park we're going to be
pretty pretty cookie cutter
schlock horror so i'm definitely an
uptight bureaucrat
who has a vendetta against this park
because
the i asked the owner out on a date once
and they said no
so i'm going to close this it's okay
it's it's that blo i'm playing that
bloke from bob's burgers
the shirt okay brilliant that's that's
what's happened here so i'm gonna give
you
the four traits uptight bureaucrat
probably probably vengeful cool and
let's let's say we probably want you to
have a like
good thing science what's what's one
yeah like what's one good thing
about your about your investigator i've
got my water van i've got science i can
i can test things i can
ph balances you know looking at looking
are there any turds in the pool
you know magnifying glass for that
you know in which case i'm going to give
you the trade analytics yeah i've got my
piss sonar you know all the standard
water park stuff
what what's what's the what's the the
right like the thing is you haven't
really said any bad words
exactly i love the skirt i love to skirt
around it you've just been gross
okay what about uh you lid what's your
summer teen lifeguard like
i think i'm gonna play a ditsy bloke
brilliant he's gonna be sporty he's
gonna
look like something out of baywatch
graham so that yeah himbo
himbo bloke but really really like
earnest so i'm not kind of trying to
you know hide things to protect
management i really believe
in mr calcifer who's
like he's the boss brilliant who i just
i really
i really is just he just i really look
up to him
um and and i think that i've really got
a career
out here at the water park of the of the
twilight abyss
no that's not that's not the name of
them no no no it's it's called slide
world with a white wolf
yeah i really believe in that i was
earnest truthful
i probably got if we're thinking
equipment
in the way that ben's got like
analytical stuff
i've got like sports sports or like
water safety gear
so you know i've got a whistle i've got
probably a life jacket
okay uh what i've got down for you yeah
is
your first trait is himbo yep and i've
also put ernest
dedicated and loud whistle okay
not not like strong or loud whistle is a
very specific one
does that come under him yeah i feel
like himbo is like a very broad one like
kimbo's i think one you're going to be
getting to apply a lot
that's cool so i'm okay giving you one
that's just like
you've got a whistle yeah cool so i
don't want to shock anyone but i'm
pretty sure the owner of the water park
is a skeleton
because his name is mr calcifer and i
refuse to believe that anybody who's not
actually a skeleton i mean you've seen
him
you've seen him he's very thin i mean
admittedly he does wear like those big
hats and those huge shades
yeah even even in the winter but
crucially
you don't see him that's just because
he's he's had a lot of chlorine damage
to his skin
that's what happens when you dedicate
yourself to uh to safety and fun
for all the family he's taken a lot on
himself including
serious chlorine damage so he needs to
like cover cover his skin because it's
now got a skin condition
yeah he was he was he was in a pool
cleaning accident
he was it was terribly tragic it was uh
he's never like he's he's been a bit of
a recluse ever since
it's really sad mr leroy calcifer yeah
who runs slide world
so slide world obviously the logo of
which is like
it's a very close-up sort of abstracted
cartoony face
with a big splash behind it that's
smiling if you look at it too long maybe
it's
maybe it looks almost more like it's
screaming no obviously this is
screaming with uh screaming
if you would like a picture of your
experience going down
the the hell full uh we can arrange that
the the picture doesn't always show up
under normal lighting
but uh it's just because the machine's
broken ignore the extra people
let's finish creating lowry's character
yes hello
your caretaker i would like access to
infinite cleaning things
okay i guess i'm going to say cleaner
yeah as a trait
like you know always able to find a
cupboard
of cleaning okay stores you know uh
resourceful
yeah sure you old as balls yeah oldest
balls
are we allowed to say balls how old are
balls that's why i wonder i guess it
depends
who they're attached to balls
well we've said it a lot now so either
there's going to be a lot of beeping or
we're going to cut that out well we're
talking about no but it's old as like
this really old rugby ball i found
there's a football that's been stuck up
the school roof for like i think like 50
years
you know it's it's made of that old ball
it was invented
in 2003 yeah
17 years ago 2003 ad
is 17 years ago johnny do you know what
type of seventeen is actually really old
you can be very responsible
uh
so like 17 years old we think yeah has
worked that
their entire life i would say knows the
park inside out
and uh cares very deeply okay uh so
what would be loyal should we say yeah
for your last trait i think i really i'm
quite invested
in lydia's character i want them to take
over my job because i see the
the because you know i need an heir
because i am all these balls
and who's gonna look after the park when
i'm gone
i'm i'm really sorry johnny you were
like this is this is super serious
we've just reinvented scooby doo it's
it's it's fine scooby
are you saying that scooby-doo isn't
isn't is that true
it's gonna be scooby-doo but then like
shaggy just explodes
just awful it's like it's gonna be
scooby-doo if
fred was lost to the abyss you asked
fred
in fact uh my my name is is freddie
not fred freddie brilliant of course
i've i've put down freddie with an ie
yeah i don't know why it just feels yeah
it's proper like with the wires in light
is
is sort of it's it's more um assess
responsible
i'm very absolutely i'm very responsible
ben what's your investigator's name
gavin crumble oh amazing excellent
i don't know why that's a work of art
but it is and you so clearly know it
larry you got a name for your caretaker
ms
pledge ms pledge
wonderful freddie doesn't have a surname
no that's not relevant
he's like cher
[Laughter]
so in terms of abilities i'm gonna say
ben you have the ability it's in my
truck
you can find any mundane piece of
equipment
by returning to your truck cool and you
can find any
specialized piece of equipment if you
also spend a hit point
cool your truck is it's really badly
organized so getting
paying anything from the back
[Laughter]
lowry you know the park like the back of
your hand
which will be an ability called back of
my hand
you can you can at any point declare
a previously unknown section of the park
uh that you are aware of or like a
secret passage or this sort of yeah
i know a shortcut yeah if you spend a
hit point
it is known only to you and it is not
something that other people in the park
would know about right
and lid you you your
ability is also called himbo
at any point you can declare that your
lack of understanding of something has
granted you
light immunity from it okay if it is an
imminent danger
like if it is a legitimate danger uh you
will be required to spend a hit point to
use that
okay so you have the final boy power
yeah yeah yeah just it's all right
what as the tentacles rise behind what
it's fine
it's a weird octopus it's all right i
saw it in aquarium
oh yeah mr kelsova said there were some
new rides coming
um and i would uh i wouldn't possibly be
able to understand
how they would operate so it makes sense
so finally you all have
seven hit points yay all right
your characters are complete so
it's a quiet day at slide world
you know the the the midday sun is
shining down the water is
crystal clear except for the water in
the hell drop which is artificially dyed
a very sort of deep black
that's a code violation it's
when a truck
well a van pulls up in front
of the admissions like the long
ambitions line which you know it's it's
not
it's not quite as long and quite as full
as you'd
hope for a summer day like this but
you know as we've established is quite a
temperate summer day
so it's you know late summer almost
early autumn
and outsteps gavin crumble
would you describe mr crumble then uh
yes
so um gavin crumble is six
foot five rake thin
has

very very nice hair but it's
almost certainly a wig no one's seen it
but everyone suspects
and white guy wearing uh you know your
classic
sort of brown chinos belted slightly too
high he's got a white
shirt with a white short sleeve shirt
with some pens
in the the top pocket there's a
calculator in there for no particular
reason because his job doesn't really
need
maths and he's got of course a clipboard
and a biro
yeah and he's got a clipboard and a biro
which he is already tapping
uh impatiently okay you see before you
the admissions line for slide world
leading up to a single kiosk where
one slightly slowly harried looking
young woman is sort of taking tickets
and selling admissions
excuse me though marmot say we've got a
a
a and you have to wait in line sir no i
am no
i don't think you understand i'm from
the department of health i'm
the health inspector oh the help
can i see some can i see some idea oh
yes of course
and he kind of gets this little little
plastic wallet with like the badge of
the department of health on it and flips
it open like he thinks he's an fbi agent
and it does have his id in there but
cool i'm gonna ask for a role
not this is not to see if if she
believes you she does it's to see if
whether she thinks you're a tool or not
this will be a it'll be a base uh based
difficulty of eight can i
can i use an ability negatively because
i definitely feel like uptight doesn't
help here
i i i i don't think you know what
i'm gonna say no also i guess that would
just increase the difficulty wouldn't it
yeah that's yeah system will work yeah
uh yeah cool okay so it's just 2d6
and trying actually i will i'll lower it
by two because you look for bureaucratic
and in the sense that like
you know it's about whether she takes it
seriously all right okay so duty six
i've got a
uh six or over yeah six or over that is
a
that was five she sort of looks at you
she's she's been chewing gum this whole
time no she's a teen
and blows a very indifferent bubble
oh they're immune they're immune to my
ways
she sort of stands up and she's like
i'll go talk to mr talcifer wait here
yeah
yes i will thank you and she leaves
freddie what are you up to at the moment
uh i'm uh
i'm standing at the the top of uh the
hellfull
if anything i detract slightly from it
it's spooky air because i
shine yeah everyone just glow
really everyone just before they go into
like the big ominous hole yeah
like the lines backing up because
everyone's just taking a couple of extra
seconds just to kind of like
yeah stare at you and be like i kind of
i kind of imagine
freddie to be like and this will sound
weird but
he's so he's got he's wearing like a
hawaiian shirt thing
that's open over swimming trunks
but absolutely the way that i imagine
them is sort of ken dollish so it's like
shiny chest but no nipples
oh like i'm sure that they have like
it's it's not that they're a clone you
know it's not as
as far as it's another easy clone it's
not that they've
they've vanished as as part of surgery
or anything else it's just
it's just because there's that ken dole
vision
like obviously you have no well like 17
i'm very old
um yeah yeah obviously he has but
they're just they're just
you know sometimes you have those
nipples that just kind of seem to blend
into a chest
yeah you know some sort of combination
of size and color means that your eyes
just don't linger on the nipples
no no it's just like just something
aggressively wholesome but like
also it's it's that like kind of
wholesome that sort of problematic
like you just assume something like it's
too yeah no i'm also enjoying this
because yeah
we were talking we're like oh these
episodes are probably going to be
shorter than a standard rusty cool
gaming episode
and we've taken up multiple minutes
talking about
freddy's nittles nipples yeah we've
taken up multiple
nymphs multiple nipples with friends
talking about freddy's nipples anyway
yeah they're all going down
into the the hell dive yeah
so like the the hell dive is scary
because of the water
yeah the water the water that comes
through has been has been dyed uh
dark but also it's uh is there's a like
cabin entrance and it's done up like a
mouth
got like that and got big googly eyes uh
and so
as you as you go on your rubber raft in
it's very dark and then there's like oh
some like sparkly stuff in there there's
like very light type things going down
so it's all spooky so the uh the last
the the last of the current line yeah
you know of uh
have stopped sort of being like and gone
down into the
into the hell dive if you can imagine
like all american but blackpool
that's what's wrong yeah yeah there's
something very wrong about that mix
also so with with the description i just
cannot imagine the opening of that slide
not looking like the cookie monster
yeah yeah but like slightly run down
yeah
yeah no thing is at this at the start it
looked like a properly scary like demon
face
yeah but by now it is kind of run down
to the point where like it could
conceivably be the cookie monster but
like a
dragon if mr blobby and the cookie
monster had some sort of
god-awful offspring okay okay okay okay
this is a light-hearted horror show
let's be careful with the imagery
yeah and americans do not look up mr
blobby google mr blobby
okay so anyway freddie you notice like
it's now your brother look
yeah and you notice uh liz from the
admissions desk
yep just standing off to one side like
just just scrolling her phone
uh liz is it is it your break uh it's
just because
you know that we're uh yeah that cares
about the attention you pay because yeah
yeah yeah no
it's safe there's a yeah well there's
there's a there's a guy
there and uh i think uh mr probably
wants to know about him
oh cause uh he said he's from the health
board she continues scrolling oh oh oh
should i should i talk to him oh have
you told mr
mr cat yeah i don't know where he is oh
okay well i'll i'll i'll go
i'll go help him find him yep how about
okay how about we do that all right
uh you you enjoy your break but then as
soon as it's over
uh you know um yeah no i will because
the
the queue is just backing up now is a oh
yeah no no no it's fun
i'm on it i'm on it yeah right okay you
know i i
believe in you you'll get a gold star
this week i'm sure i'm sure
uh cool right uh what was it okay so
over here comes into
i suppose the the entrance area and
again it's this kind of it just like
like shining just somehow he doesn't oil
himself
but somehow some people
just some people are just cups
sweat well yeah some people sweat well
uh uh excuse me uh
freddie has gone up to just a random old
man
excuse me um are you uh are you the
the the man that needs to see mr
kelsifer i
i heard that there was um who that is an
important official man oh oh well
winston cousin is very important
um i'm gonna be uh he's a very good boss
my name is algernon well janon
that's good to know i'm coming to this
park for my joints you know
oh right that's that's very good i would
say there's this doctor recommended
sliding down
terrifying water slides yeah we're uh
it's very it's medicinal
uh here is very very health inducing
uh i will be the judge of how health
inducing it is i believe you're looking
for me
oh oh uh oh no i didn't do it algenon
starts to run
[Laughter]
very fast for an old man is this what
did his joints in
just fleeing for any official
oh no uh mr mr algernon sir
uh please don't run there's uh there's
there's nothing to be afraid of here
it's too late i'm very far away now
running in the water park
well that's uh running outside away from
the water park i'm running away from it
oh water park is so scary that old men
run away from it
well that's a violation it's not
important pc that will recur
i i think you just traumatized him sir
there's a
a figure a four foot eleven figure
lurking in the shadows clutching a mop
wearing
you know one of those house coats floral
house coats
yes that's the uniform of miss pledge
that's amazing
she's gonna pull freddie to one side oh
miss miss pledge
miss pledge uh can i help you yeah bye
yeah this is it
right i think this is your big chance
you see that man there
very important man oh he's going to have
the power
oh the power yeah the power to judge us
and this park and therefore you and the
job you have done so far this is it
boy this is my time for your graduation
oh good goodness
miss mr council said that i might get
full time yeah
if uh i know i i know okay i'm so proud
right
baby do you have a button on your shirt
and tweet that man no i don't have any
buttons on the on the show they just
fall off somehow
i don't know none of this
is in any way subtle you can hear every
word
oh i'm looking over my clipboard
judgmentally at them yeah
right well i'd better go and and and
live up to my destiny then
uh miss pledge boy i'm behind you every
step of the way you leave that shirt
with me later and i'll put some buttons
on it for you okay
i mean i do put buttons on but they just
fall off i don't i know
boy i sweep them up daily
just popping off as you're eating your
cereal
the world just objects uh but anyway
freddie used to be in tour i'm guessing
this just that entertaining area of like
how gavin crumble is actually taller
than him
but still somehow assume
it feels like he's looking up at him and
it's irritated i don't know
yeah though i'm like i'm definitely
taller but but i am definitely
not as heavy chunky mosques muscles
my skulls uh just from all those picking
stuff up and putting them down
which i do uh different places different
ways
uh anyway uh hello um uh mr uh sir
mister uh could i uh help you uh at all
uh today um showing you around our
lovely
uh facilities yes yes i suppose so
getting one of the lower level staff to
show me around means that there's going
to be uh
shenanigans on one of the highest of our
rides uh yes that that's not what i
meant but uh sure uh yes if you could
start the uh the tour
right now i'll be very good i believe in
you boy
cut to a nearby balcony where a thin
figure thin
fingers are clutched around binoculars
that trace the path of gavin crumble
freddie
and miss pledge as they enter the park i
assume
is miss pledge part of the group or oh
she's following
kind of just just glowing with pride
i don't know trying to be inconspicuous
because she thinks she still hasn't been
noticed
by um gavin crumble so
gavin do you have a specific place that
you want to start with or are you just
happy to let freddie show you
i i would imagine because surprise
surprise i don't actually know
how swimming pools keep their water not
disgusting but i think there's probably
a big room full of machines with
regulators
and readouts and stuff because people
need to know this kind of stuff
so i want to go there oh you want to go
to the chemical rooms
yes yes sir uh we can show you around
the back we've actually got several hub
sites in which we clean
uh the water uh the water further the
hell right
hellfull is are done separately because
that has to have the dye
added you don't want the other water to
get dark
because that would be spooky you don't
want like the little kids
to be spooked out when they're going
around splashy splashland
or or fluttery bye-byes yes and of
course having opaque water means that
it's very hard to see if somebody's in
distress which is again a mark
right let's well yes let's have a look
at that um that hell
ride walk uh fluttery bye-bye is uh you
pass fluttery bye-bye which is
uh uh it's it's for children only yeah
and it's largely because children are
light enough that it sort of
rather than going into the water it just
sort of flings them out
over this huge pool and like it's meant
to be that you can sort of
flap your wings like a butterfly but
actually there's just children like
tumbling through the air before uh
landing in the water
they've got um the little rubber rings
there and have little
colorful oh very pretty but it is
the thing is the fluffy things don't
actually work as designed they don't
flap what they do
is change the airflow so the children
just
spin around gyroscopic
lots of screaming lots of beautiful
photos yeah but that like i mean
the kids love it yeah probably yeah yeah
mr castle hasn't really checked
so as we go past there's a screams of
delight uh you'll you'll hear
we've got lots of safety uh around the
park
just overflowing with safety but not
overflowing
uh staying in uh controlled flow
safety there's always a fluttery pipe
and then we've got uh we've got the
spinning top
which uh you'll see is for the younger
teens
you know the log flume uh which is a
very slow
it there's no fluming going on at all
really
no actual vlog it's the log flume is
just a sli it's just a slide
it's just a version just it's it's a
very small slide it's the sort of one
where you find it that people find
themselves like pushing themselves along
it's advertised as a log flume because
people love log flumes but it's not
actually a log flume but that's that's
for the the more delicate of
constitution it goes
slowly and gently so i'm not you can
actually if you want to speed it up walk
along
so you arrive at the the metal door that
leads
down the stairs into the pump room so
this is the
the the it says on the front
caution keep out pumps
is it is it we're not approaching
twilight are we it's still
quite long oh it's like it's mid
afternoon it's mid afternoon
yeah i'm i'm guessing this is around the
back of the flume
and so it's so kind of shady there's
trees planted around because we don't
want this sort of
thing to to stand out too much anyone
that's played planet zoo
knows that we need to keep the people
away from the equipment
or they get sad so it says keep out but
that is for
the public obviously i uh freddie
waves uh his id uh it's a picture of him
it looks like it was taken earlier this
morning like he's wearing the exact same
stuff he's exactly as oiled his hair's
going in the same direction it's quite
spooky
yeah um i will just uh swipe swipes
the mechanical lock does not react oh um
hey boy use my pass give me one one
second
yeah okay i think i have decided that um
miss pledge
believes she's invisible to people she
doesn't want to see her
so she thinks you can still take the
credit for all of this
yeah here we go i never know oh thank
you uh
freddie comes up and and shows the pass
again but not currently
in a way it is it is a mechanical lock
it is like
both you and ms pledge have keys oh okay
oh right um uh freddie is panicking i
suppose
he's not realizing um right can i roll
himbo to to just assume that whacking it
with
whacking a mechanical lock with a pass
actually makes it work yeah do it
do it sure you nee you need a six i need
a six
cool oh freddie did not roll high
freddie rolled a three you're just sort
of waving the pass
in front of it when a thin voice comes
from behind you
[Music]
do you need some help there
freddie oh mr calcifer
yeah oh um i oh thank you so much sir
you always know when i need
help such a good boss reaches past you
and unlocks the door and opens it i'm
sorry we
probably haven't been introduced i'm
freddie
no yes i know hello freddie and hello
mr rumble was it yes
are you the owner of this fine
establishment
[Music]
that's how he says yes sometimes yes yes
as much as one can own
water and what lurks within it i was
more
talking about the the equipment that
holds the um the water and the
oh yes i do own the equipment and
technically the land
good yes you are making a report to your
superiors yes
on the safety of the park yes
now if you don't mind this fine young
gentleman is showing me around
excellent accident i just yes good
good good you take as much time as you
need
just make make sure that you spend
plenty of time looking into the hell
dive i think you'll find it
most enlightening the um the hell dive
is the deep part of the hellfall it's
it's the scariest bit
right the hell full dreadfully sorry i
always
i always get the name confused
enjoy yourself mr crumble
i will not he's sort of he he's like it
is sort of walking but he sort of
glides away oh
that was uh that was a very that was him
being particularly
friendly uh mr crumble you're very
honored uh i've not had that many
long conversations with mr cows furries
he's very busy man
so i'll just i'll show you through this
door then
and the long like the weirdly long
staircase
going down into the earth towards the
pump room
falls away in front of you as in like it
stretches stretch
right yeah because i was a little late
like he doesn't fall away it stretches
yeah no no no
it stretches away in front of you
and i'm probably going to call it there
for this episode
before we descend into the pump rooms
that are probably definitely fine
yeah it'll be totally normal yeah
absolutely a
lovely day at a lovely water park
slide world bye bye
[Music]
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