---
layout:          post
title:           "SEAS 3 - Battens Down"
date:            2022-08-16 11:00:00 -0400
episode_type:      episode
tags:            []
voiced:          [Alestes, Baker, Siva, Noor, Mapseller, Server, Merchant 1, Merchant 2]
categories:			"tf"
podcasts: ["tf"]
title_prefix:	"SEAS"
prev_categories: ["tf"]
prev_prefixes: ["SEAS"]
prev_episode:	['0021-belowdecks1']
prev_episode_num:		['002.1']
prev_episode_title:		["Below Decks 1 - Authenticity in Fiction"]
next_categories: ["tf"]
next_prefixes: ["SEAS"]
next_episode:	['0031-belowdecks2']
next_episode_num:		['003.1']
next_episode_title:		["Below Decks 2 - Gender Through History"]
episode_title:   'Battens Down'
episode_number:  '003'
summary:         "Herring & Marnock Esq's Dictionary of Nautical and Pyratical Terms, 1849: batten: a narrow strip of wood for fairing in lines, a strip of wood to fasten objects together. batten・down (verb): to make watertight, to secure, in preparation for a storm<br/><br/>In which stringrays are caught, potatoes are consumed, and a map is purloined."
content_flags:   ["Food", "Alcohol and Alcohol Use", "Innuendo", "Imperialism & internalised racism", "Physical violence (comedic)", "Misophonia (eating and drinking)", "Discussions of: animal harm, eating animals", "Mentions of: alcohol, guns & blades, ageism", "SFX: ocean & seagulls; waves; background chatter; crowds; insects; bells; metallic clanking and scraping (sword fight and eating with metal utensils)."]
acast_url:       https://play.acast.com/s/trice-forgotten/seas-3-battens-down
formats:
official:        true
---

#### NEMO MARTIN

Hello friends! This is Nemo Martin, creator of *Trice Forgotten.* I wanted to come in and thank you for checking out our swashbuckling adventure!

There are a lot of people on deck at Rusty Quill helping to make this podcast possible, and the best way you can support us and our show is by spreading the word! Tell your friends and pirate nemeses, share us on social media with the hashtag #TriceForgotten, rate and review us on your podcatcher of choice, maybe even play it on repeat for your aquarium buddies!

We are still a small company and we want to keep bringing more and more work to writers and performers in future seasons, but we can only do that if people listen and spread the word! If you want to contribute to us directly -- and get first word on new projects, behind the scenes content, exclusive events, and more -- consider joining the Rusty Quill Patreon over at patreon.com/rustyquill.

Now please, enjoy the episode.

##### [SHOW THEME - INTRO]

#### NOOR

Rusty Quill Presents: *Trice Forgotten.*

Episode Three: Battens Down. 

##### [THEME FINISHES]

##### [INT. A ROWDY TAVERN -- EARLY AFTERNOON]

##### [TANKARDS ARE HEARD CLANKING IN THE BACKGROUND. MUSIC IS PLAYING, PEOPLE ARE CHATTING, AND SOMEWHERE IN THE CORNER A GROUP OF PEOPLE ARE SINGING A BAR SONG.]

##### [ALESTES, BAKER, SIVA AND NOOR ARE SITTING AT A TABLE.]

#### ALESTES

_(jolly drunk)_ Here's the thing, though -- everyone thinks fishing is so easy. That you just cast your line and the little fishies come up and eat. That they just flap their little fins and BOOM! Dead fish. Well, you and I both know that --

#### BAKER

_(one drink past tipsy)_ I know you're not about to tell me anything about fishing. Not when I've been slinging carp, bass and ass since you were in swaddling clothes --

##### [ALESTES AND BAKER LAUGH] 

#### SIVA

_(aside to Noor)_ Did he just say he's been -- he's a large man, certainly, but to throw an entire donkey? 

#### NOOR

_(bemused)_  I think perhaps you should have a conversation about it with Baker, when he's less... distracted. 

#### SIVA

_(a bit too loudly)_ Baker's going to teach me to sling ass? 

#### ALESTES

_(delighted, teasing)_ Hah! Careful what you say, old man, or word will get out that you're teaching a younger man all about --

#### BAKER

Ai, Alestes, shhh! 

#### ALESTES

_(louder if anything)_ What's the matter? Worried who might hear you propositioning --

##### [ALESTES LAUGHS AS BAKER TRIES TO SHUT HER UP]

#### SIVA

Noor. Noor. Noor. I've had an incredulous realisation. You know, for all those months using a beer crate for a desk, they never gave me actual beer to drink? This stuff is better than it smells, I can understand the appeal!

#### NOOR

Look around this tavern and you'll find plenty of reasons to abstain.

##### [SIVA DOWNS HIS TANKARD WITH A SATISFIED SIGH.]

#### NOOR

...Or at least, a reason to slow down. 

##### [A SERVER APPROACHES.]

#### SERVER

Who had the stew? 

#### ALESTES

That's me. This that one with the "glazed turmeric potatoes"? 

#### SERVER

Aye, 'tis. We slow roast the meat over an open flame for the better part of three days. It's our --

#### ALESTES

Specialty. Thanks. You can go.

##### [EXCHANGING COIN]

Ah -- just so you know. There'd be extra coin for whoever might be able to tell me the spice blend used on that boar. 

#### SERVER

How much coin might a person get for taking such a risk? 

#### ALESTES

Enough. 

#### SERVER

Bring me "enough" and it's yours. 

##### [THE SERVER EXITS.]

#### BAKER

Anyway. Putting aside you trying to bribe your way with coin we don't have --

#### ALESTES

Coin *you* don't have. 

#### BAKER

-- what type of tavern glazes their potatoes? 

#### ALESTES

The kind of tavern you could learn a thing or two from. _(to everyone)_ Right, you lot! You're all sitting here drinking delicious ale --

#### SIVA

Noor's drinking tea! 

#### ALESTES

You're all sitting here drinking, which, by the way, you're welcome for. 

#### NOOR

_(suspicious)_ You're paying? 

#### ALESTES

One drink each, don't get used to it.  And now you're sitting here, on your asses, making me no money with which to bribe people. And do you know what happens to those in my debt? 

#### SIVA

_(oblivious to the threat and tipsy)_ My goodness, no! What happens to them! 

#### ALESTES

_(trying to sound cool)_ Bad things. Very bad things. 

#### SIVA

Gosh! That's not good! 

#### ALESTES

So. I don't care how you do it, who you do it to, or what part of your soul you lose to make it happen. Get up. Get out of here. Go make me coin. Now. 

#### SIVA

Right now? But I've still got half a --

#### ALESTES

Now. 

#### NOOR

Come on Siva, let's go look about. I'm sure we can find work somewhere. 

##### [NOOR AND SIVA STAND, MAKING THEIR WAY FROM THE TABLE AND THROUGH THE CROWDED TAVERN.]  

#### ALESTES

Don't think you're off the hook either. 

#### BAKER

_(thinking she's still teasing)_ You forget who actually makes the ship's bread. And cooks up all those fish you go on about. And --

#### ALESTES

_(serious)_ You still need to earn coin. 

#### BAKER

_(confused)_ I cook for my berth. 

#### ALESTES

That was before. 

#### BAKER

Before? Before what? 

#### ALESTES

Before. It's not like I'm asking you to break contract. 

#### BAKER

"Contract"? Alestes, it's me, I don't have a contract. _(reading her expression)_  But -- wait, you think I should?

#### ALESTES

_(a bit cowed)_ We need more coin so you stop being so lazy and cook more than hardtack boiled in sea water. 

#### BAKER

_(grumbling)_ Nothing wrong with boiled hardtack... 

#### ALESTES

Nothing wrong with --! _(inhales deeply)_ Most ridiculous thing I've ever -- you're not seriously trying to imply --

##### [ALESTES STARTS TO EAT THE STEW. IT'S NIGELLA LAWSON -- DELICIOUS, LADEN WITH SEXUAL INNUENDO.] 

#### ALESTES

Are you saying boiled hardtack could ever stand up to beautiful, wonderful, luscious potatoes simmered in a rich, boar stew? 

#### BAKER

So we're in a silly bugger mood, are we? 

#### ALESTES

_(over-the-top sexual innuendo)_  So. Gooooooood. 

#### BAKER

I see what you're trying to do, Alestes. 

#### ALESTES

Is it working? *MMMmmmmmmMmmmmmmmmm.* 

#### BAKER

I'm going because I want to, and not because you're making me. 

##### [BAKER STANDS, HASTY, AND TAKES HIS LEAVE -- ALESTES CACKLING AS HE LEAVES HER BEHIND.] 

##### [AS HE ROUNDS A CORNER, HE STOPS.]

#### NOOR

Baker? 

#### BAKER

Has Siva been kidnapped already?! 

#### NOOR

_(slight laugh)_ No, not yet, Inshallah. I wanted to ask you something in private. 

#### BAKER

Oh. Yes. _(concerned)_ Is it urgent? You might want to wait if you need some serious advice. 

#### NOOR

This is fine. 

#### BAKER

I -- see. 

#### NOOR

You knew that lady who kidnapped Siva. "Anh." You have a history with her. 

#### BAKER

...we did. 

#### NOOR

Is there something we should know? 

#### BAKER

It's sorted. No need to worry. 

#### NOOR

That's what Alestes told you. Hm? 

#### BAKER

_(slight warning)_ I don't have any reason not to trust Alestes' word, and you shouldn't either. 

#### NOOR

...It's not just you who'll be affected by this decision, Baker. But if you tell me to trust her, then I will.

##### [A HEAVY MOMENT.]

#### BAKER

...The Captain knows what she's doing. 

##### [INT. MAP SHOP -- AFTERNOON]

##### [A BUSY STREET FADES AS SIVA ENTERS A CARTOGRAPHY SHOP, POLITE BELL RINGING AS THE DOOR CLOSES BEHIND HIM.] 

##### [HE MAKES HIS WAY TO THE COUNTER:]

#### SIVA

Excuse me! 

#### MAPSELLER

_(taking one look at him)_ What do you want? 

#### SIVA

I'm looking for work. I happen --

#### MAPSELLER

I've got enough sweeps. 

#### SIVA

Oh, no, I --

#### MAPSELLER

This isn't a charity. 

#### SIVA

I'm not here to apply as a --

#### MAPSELLER

Some sort of scam, is it? Why don't you run along back to whoever's teat you just dropped from; you won't be tricking me. 

#### SIVA

_(taken aback)_ I am a highly skilled cartographer, trained under --

#### MAPSELLER

You're a highly skilled cartographer, and my father was one of the twelve apostles. 

##### [SIVA PULLS A MAP FROM A SLEEVE HOLDER AND SLAMS IT DOWN ON THE COUNTERTOP.]

#### SIVA

_(tipsy and losing his temper in a way that slightly embarrasses him)_ If you would just listen to me and look at my work, Sir. I am more than highly skilled, I am downright *gifted.* This map of Kalitivu is the best you will ever find. So. Sir. If you would please. 

#### MAPSELLER

...Kalitivu? 

##### [THE MAPSELLER UNFOLDS THE MAP.]

#### MAPSELLER

_(more appreciative, keeping his cards to his chest)_  This is... You work under someone's employ, boy? 

#### SIVA

I'm currently under the employ of Captain Alestes. 

#### MAPSELLER

"Alestes"? 

#### SIVA

_(realising his fortunes are turning)_ That's correct! Captain Alestes! The finest seafaring Captain in -- in the -- seven seas! 

#### MAPSELLER

I bet she is. ...I need to look closer at this map of yours in the back. 

#### SIVA

Of course! 

##### [THE MAPSELLER GOES INTO THE BACK ROOM.]

#### SIVA

_(to himself)_ That's the stuff, Siva old boy! What a bolstering adventure! An excellent pitch, with skills to match -- my God -- you might even have been charming! 

##### [THE MAPSELLER RETURNS.]

#### SIVA

So? What do you think, maybe enough gold to --

#### MAPSELLER

You'd better run along, boy. 

#### SIVA

Excuse me? 

#### MAPSELLER

Here. Take your scrap of paper and run along. I sealed it back up for you. 

##### [HE SLIDES FOLDED MAP PAPER ACROSS THE COUNTER.]

##### [SIVA GRABS IT, POSSESSIVELY, STUFFING IT BACK IN ITS HOLDER.]

#### SIVA

I thought -- but -- you were impressed, just moments ago! 

#### MAPSELLER

And then I looked at it, with my tools, and now I'm telling you to leave. 

#### SIVA

*Well!* I have never been so ill treated by someone with manners quite so... Why waste my time like that? It's -- it's -- RUDE! 

#### MAPSELLER

Get out of my shop, boy, or rudeness will be the least of your problems. 

##### [SIVA EXITS INTO THE BUSY STREET.]

##### [INT. TAVERN KITCHEN -- AFTERNOON]

##### [POTATOES BEING PEELED IN A BUSY KITCHEN. POTS BUBBLE, MEAT ROASTS OVER FIRE.]

#### SERVER

You're quick with that knife.  

#### BAKER

Been peeling veg longer than you've been alive, I'll bet. 

#### SERVER

And what's a man with hands as skilled as yours doing picking up temporary jobs in tavern kitchens? 

#### BAKER

Anything he can to keep bellies full and hearts beating. 

#### SERVER

You've the arms of a whaler.

##### [BAKER DOESN'T GIVE A REPLY]

#### SERVER

No offence intended. Just noting the obvious. You'd make more on a shift out on a ship than you would sitting here. 

#### BAKER

I would. 

#### SERVER

And a longer voyage, make enough of a commission, I'm sure you could afford to retire in peace. 

#### BAKER

I'm sure I could. 

#### SERVER

But you're going to continue peeling potatoes. 

#### BAKER

I am. 

#### SERVER

Hmmm. You were sitting out there with that Captain looking to buy our recipe. 

#### BAKER

I was. 

#### SERVER

You think you can steal it if you sit in our kitchen for long enough? 

#### BAKER

If I thought I could learn a recipe like that in a couple hours, I wouldn't respect the dish as much as I do.

##### [THE SERVER GIVES HIM A PLEASED HUM OF CONSIDERATION.]

#### SERVER

_(affectionate ribbing)_ So what is your goal, spy? 

#### BAKER

Peel enough potatoes so that I can afford a sack, and a pinch of turmeric as a good-will bonus for an old man. 

#### SERVER

_(like respects like)_ You drive a hard bargain. 

##### [EXT. A BUSY MARKET]

##### [BUSTLING SOUND OF PEOPLE GOING ABOUT THEIR BUSINESS. THE SOUND OF HORSES. OCEAN IN THE DISTANCE. MERCHANTS HAWKING THEIR WARES. NOOR AND SIVA WALK THROUGH IT ALL.] 

#### SIVA

_(still tipsy, but sobering up)_ I can't believe no one wants to hire me at all. Is it my face? Does my breath smell? _(blows into his hands, reacts)_ Do I need to bathe? It has been a while since I last had a proper bath. Maybe it's --

#### NOOR

Perhaps it is because you're not looking too steady on your feet. 

#### SIVA

Urgh. 

#### NOOR

You know, you don't have to do everything the Captain tells you to do. 

#### SIVA

But -- if I can just prove to the Captain and to Baker that I can keep up with them, maybe they'll see that I am of use to them --

#### NOOR

You'll be of less use to them several tankards to the wind.

#### SIVA

They've had years of experience scrubbing decks and slinging ass -- which means I've got to make up for lost time!

#### NOOR

You're going to make that time up in a day, are you?

##### [BEFORE SIVA CAN RESPOND, THE RAISED VOICES OF TWO MERCHANTS EXPLODE INTO A FULL-BLOWN ARGUMENT.]

#### MERCHANT 1

Insult my very name, reputation, and, if I'm to be frank, defecate on my goodwill when --

#### MERCHANT 2

Your goodwill? _(becomes shrill)_ I was paying you! You were to be paid for honest work! I will not have my good name sullied because you couldn't be trusted to breathe if left to your own devices. 

#### MERCHANT 1

Oooohhhh, you should watch your words, friend. 

##### [A SWORD IS UNSHEATHED.]

#### MERCHANT 2

PAH! Threaten me all you like, it doesn't change the fact that these gloves are NOT real ray skin. If you think me a fool --

##### [ANOTHER SWORD UNSHEATHED.] 

-- you will find yourself six feet under and out more than your silly little reputation. 

#### MERCHANT 1

Oh YEAH? 

#### MERCHANT 2

YEAH.

##### [FEET SHUFFLING INTO FIGHTING STANCE.]

#### NOOR

Hold, peace. There's no need to draw blood this day. Sheathe your weapons. 

#### SIVA

_(aside)_ Noor -- are you sure it's safe to intervene-?! 

##### [THE MERCHANTS IGNORE THEM BOTH. RAISING THEIR SWORDS, THEY BEGIN SWINGING AT ONE ANOTHER. THESE ARE NOT THE SWORD FIGHTERS OF LEGENDS. THEIR BLOWS ARE SLOW, SCHOOL-TAUGHT, AND THEY CLASH WEAKLY AGAINST ONE ANOTHER.]

##### [THEY ARE QUICKLY OUT OF BREATH.] 

#### MERCHANT 1

Move aside!

_(breathing heavily)_ HA!

#### MERCHANT 2

_(just as heavily)_ Don't you HA!!

##### [SIVA AND NOOR WATCH FROM THE SIDELINES, NOOR MAKING CONCERNED SOUNDS, SIVA KEEPING UP A COMMENTARY ON THE BAD SWORDFIGHTING]

#### SIVA

His stance is just all wrong. He's quite pathetic. 

#### MERCHANT 2

Don't you HA me!! 

#### NOOR

Please, lower your blades. You're more likely to injure yourselves than one another. 

#### MERCHANT 1

Pipe down, you! 

#### NOOR

At the very least, why not explain what has caused this rift to an outside party? 

##### [THE MERCHANTS STILL MAKE PATHETIC SWIPES AT ONE ANOTHER.]

#### MERCHANT 2

Well, I had it on good authority that this "vendor" here had a solid reputation for selling the highest quality goods and services --

#### MERCHANT 1

You tarnish my name in public!!! 

#### MERCHANT 2

My client is a royal of the highest magnitude, and I cannot bring these inauthentic counterfeits before them because this vendor is too lazy to afford a real verification process --

#### NOOR

Verification -- that's all you need? 

#### MERCHANT 2

Hah! If only it were that simple!! 

#### MERCHANT 1

To do so would require the utmost skill and knowledge. 

#### MERCHANT 2

And now he offers me no refund!! 

#### MERCHANT 1

Because they are 100% authentic --

#### MERCHANT 2

Allegedly --

#### NOOR

Twenty gold pieces, and I will bring you real stingray leather.

##### [A BEAT.]

#### MERCHANT 2

Twenty--? No. Ten and you've got a deal. 

#### SIVA

_(finding dregs of confidence)_ Noor set their price at twenty! 

#### NOOR

But you're more than welcome to continue this argument of yours while your client waits... 

#### MERCHANT 1

Thirty years I've been in this business and you think some street urchins can do better than me? 

#### MERCHANT 2

_(specifically to spite Merchant 1)_ ...See that you bring your evidence before the sun sets. And payment on receipt this time! 

#### NOOR

Consider it done. 

##### [NOOR AND SIVA BEGIN TO WALK AWAY.]

#### SIVA

I didn't know you were a ray expert, Noor! 

#### NOOR

I'm not. 

#### SIVA

Oh. So... how do you plan on finding real stingray leather? 

#### NOOR

We catch some rays, find the closest match to those gloves, and bring it to them. 

#### SIVA

...Oh. And how do you plan on catching a stingray? Aren't they quite dangerous? 

#### NOOR

I'm not catching anything. 

#### SIVA

But you just said that --

#### NOOR

We're going to make sure you earn your keep, Siva. 

##### [EXT. NETAOANSOM -- DECK -- EVENING]

##### [ALESTES IS FISHING OFF THE DECK OF THE SHIP. SHE DRINKS FROM A BOTTLE OF RUM.]

##### [NOT TOO FAR IN THE DISTANCE, NOOR AND SIVA ARE ATTEMPTING TO CATCH A STINGRAY BEFORE THE SUN SETS.] 

##### [IT'S NEARING DUSK. BAKER JOINS HER. HE DROPS A HEAVY SACK OF POTATOES ON THE DECK.] 

#### BAKER

Any of that to spare? 

##### [ALESTES PASSES OVER THE BOTTLE AS THEY WATCH:]

#### ALESTES

What's in the sack? Spoils of war? Fabulous treasures? 

#### BAKER

Even better.

#### ALESTES

Potatoes! Baker, you shouldn't have. 

#### BAKER

Where's Noor, I was hoping they'd help me peel. 

#### ALESTES

Titting around on the shore down there with Siva. 

#### BAKER

Hm. What are they doing? 

#### ALESTES

Who knows with those two -- here, pass us the rum. 

#### BAKER

How's the fishing? 

#### ALESTES

Just seaweed, so far. 

##### [SHE DRINKS.]

That's the stuff. 

##### [ON THE SHORE]

#### NOOR

Eyes down, Siva. Concentrate. 

#### SIVA

_(in the wind)_ I'm trying! But the little buggers are far too fast --

#### NOOR

Be faster! Every ray you let slip is a coin, gone. I can only assist so much. 

#### SIVA

_(distracted and pleased)_ Wait. Are you doing this because you care about me? Oh! I see! You're teaching me so that I'll be able to gain respect with the Captain!!! You really are just the most wonder-- 

#### NOOR

There!! It's right there, go, go! 

##### [SPLASHING]

##### [SIVA SPLUTTERING IN THE WAVES]

#### BAKER

Couple of fools, those two.

##### [BAKER AND ALESTES SHARE A LAUGH]

#### BAKER

But I've got to admit I'm taking a real shine to them. 

#### ALESTES

You take a shine to everyone. Even the ones that don't deserve it. 

#### BAKER

Are you saying you don't deserve it? 

#### ALESTES

Don't. 

#### BAKER

And it's not true, anyway. I didn't take too kindly to Gammon. Or that Anh, neither. 

##### [A LULL. MORE DISTANT SPLASHING...]

#### NOOR

_(distant, encouraging)_  Yes! Yes! Nearly! 

#### ALESTES

...You remember that time we nearly starved, when the *Galloping* sprung that leak? 

#### BAKER

I try to forget the things I don't like to remember. 

#### ALESTES

I keep trying to picture what his face looked like. What expressions he made. How he proved to us that everything was under his control, that us half-drowned was all part of his grand plan.

##### [BAKER *HMMS* TO SHOW THAT HE'S LISTENING, LETTING HER CONTINUE IN HER OWN TIME.]

#### ALESTES

_(laughs, dry)_ I'm tired, Baker. 

#### BAKER

Course you are. You've been up since the sun rose. And how many hours did you spend in that tavern after I left you? 

#### ALESTES

No, Baker. I'm tired. _(deep breath)_  That feeling, that heaviness in my chest. It's heavier, now. Sometimes... I feel like I can't breathe, and I wonder what I'm supposed to do. 

#### BAKER

Hey, now. I'm sure it's not as bad as all that.

_(he considers her)_ Having people to look after is a scary job. You do what you need to do, Alestes. It'll work out in the end.

And, if it doesn't... you know you'll always have me by your side. 

#### ALESTES

Baker, shut up. 

##### [THE SOUND OF A FISHING LINE DRAGGING --]

#### BAKER

I know it can be hard to hear, Alestes, but a crew is more than companionship --

#### ALESTES 

BAKER, SHUSH! GET THE NET!

##### [A FISHING BATTLE ENSUES -- ]

#### ALESTES

_(bright)_ HA! Feel the size of this thing!! 

#### BAKER

Here, let me reel --  

#### ALESTES

Get your own rod, old man! Come on, you little --

##### [THE FISH BREACHES THE WATER --] 

#### ALESTES (CONT'D)

YES! YES! I am a GOD unto FISHKIND --

##### [AND THE LINE SNAPS. THE FISH PLOPS BACK INTO THE WATER WITH A SAD LITTLE SPLASH]

##### [ALESTES CRIES OUT, DEJECTED]

##### [NOOR AND SIVA HAVE GONE AWKWARDLY SILENT]

#### ALESTES

_(slightly more winded than she should be)_ Not. One. Word, Baker. 

#### BAKER

_(trying not to grin)_ Aye, Captain. 

#### SIVA

_(calling from the shore)_ Nice try Captain! 

#### ALESTES

Don't you have better things to be concentrating on, you --

##### [ON THE SHORE]  

#### NOOR

SIVA! SIVA, LOOK, HURRY --!

##### [SIVA SPLASHES AROUND FOR A WHILE]

#### SIVA

STAY! STILL!

##### [MORE SPLASHING. COUGHING. SPLUTTERING.]

#### NOOR

Come on! You can do it! 

#### SIVA

I SEE IT!

#### NOOR

Siva, grab it. In the bucket. Not back in the water. 

##### [A STINGRAY IS PULLED THRASHING FROM THE WATER]

#### SIVA

HahhhhHAHAHAAA!!!!! VICTORY!! 

#### NOOR

In the bucket -- careful! 

##### [IT GOES INTO THE BUCKET. SIVA AND NOOR CELEBRATE: CLAPPING ONE ANOTHER ON THE BACK, LAUGHING WITH GLEE.] 

#### SIVA

Captain??!?! Look what we -- no -- *I* -- did!!! 

#### ALESTES

_(still slightly winded)_ Alright, alright. You're also far from the market where the coin is. Get going, before your time runs out. 

##### [NOOR AND SIVA SPLASH OFF.]

##### [ALESTES LETS OUT A SLIGHTLY PAINED BREATH ONCE THEY'RE GONE.]

#### BAKER

Don't tell me that fish got you beat down, lass! Chin up, your old man's got more than enough for dinner tonight. 

#### ALESTES

_(trying to sound like she's not concerned)_ Go on, impress me then, chef. 

##### [EXT. MARKET -- EARLY EVENING]

##### [THE MARKET, AS BEFORE -- WITH PEOPLE HAWKING THEIR WARES.]

##### [NOOR LUGS THE BUCKET UP TO THE STALL WITH SIVA.]

#### NOOR

_(slightly out of breath)_ One ray for you --

#### SIVA

-- brought before sunset! 

##### [THE MERCHANT LOOKS IN THE BUCKET.]

#### MERCHANT 2

Good *GOD* what in heaven's name is that?! 

#### NOOR

A stingray, like you asked for. 

#### MERCHANT 2

_(ewww)_ You must be quite mistaken. 

#### NOOR

Excuse me? 

#### MERCHANT 2

_(shudders)_ Well -- look at it, all... flappy, and wriggly? That's some sort of strange, flat... fish! 

#### NOOR

A stingray... is a fish. 

#### MERCHANT 2

HAH! Oh, you locals, thinking you can get away with teasing me like this you're as bad as that other merchant!! As if a royal would ever wear the skin of some stinky fish!  

#### SIVA

Out of interest -- what on Earth do you actually think a ray is? 

#### MERCHANT 2

Why it is of course a magnificent beast! A legendary creature, with a barbed tail, the wings of a bird, the ability to seriously injure even the most powerful of warriors -- and you've just got a fish in a bucket! 

#### SIVA

But --

#### NOOR

_(sensing there's no use arguing)_ The twenty gold? 

#### MERCHANT 2

No, no, the deal is off. I won't be fleeced. I am forced to take my business elsewhere. Get yourselves and your weird fish out of my sight. 

##### [INT. NETAOANSOM -- DECK -- NIGHT]

##### [THE ENTIRE CREW ON DECK, EATING]

#### ALESTES

_(moaning)_ These potatoes are -- I'd throw Siva overboard to make sure I never, ever go without these potatoes for the rest of my life! Who even needs fish! Maybe we should just eat potatoes from now on.  

#### SIVA

Here, Noor! Let me serve you --

#### ALESTES

Hey! You two! You don't bring any coin, you only get one potato each! 

##### [SOUND OF SEVERAL POTATOES BEING MOVED FROM THE CENTRE OF THE TABLE AND DUMPED BEFORE NOOR] 

#### SIVA

You can have my serving, Noor --

#### NOOR

No, no, you worked hard, you should eat your share. 

#### SIVA

Oh! Then! Would you like me to mash your potatoes for you? 

#### NOOR

_(slightly weirded out)_ No, I don't need you to mash my potatoes. Thank you. 

#### BAKER

_(switching subjects)_ So, the hold isn't as threadbare as it has been. That's good news for all of us. Especially with those extra rays you brought aboard. 

#### NOOR

They're not for eating.  

#### BAKER

Were you planning on keeping them alive? 

#### NOOR

Why not? 

#### BAKER

"Why not?" Because they're food. 

#### NOOR

They don't have to be. I thought I could build an aquarium. 

#### ALESTES

An aquarium? 

#### BAKER

Are you sure? More likely they'll die in there just as quickly as they'd die in my pot. 

#### SIVA

What if I cleaned it out for them? And I can feed them, and, uhm, take them for walks? 

#### NOOR

See, Baker? You wouldn't have to do anything --

#### BAKER

We'll get hungry soon enough. 

#### ALESTES

I like the idea of an aquarium onboard. 

#### BAKER

_(disbelief)_ You do? 

#### ALESTES

Why not? It's like having a living larder. Which means I have to spend less money on you lot. 

#### BAKER

You're actually considering this. 

#### ALESTES

Pop a couple lobsters in there and I can pick out the ones I want to eat on the day. 

#### NOOR

You're not using my aquarium as a menu board --

#### ALESTES

I'm sorry, I thought I heard the person who brought me no income today making demands! 

#### NOOR

It is not as if I am being paid a wage anyway... 

#### ALESTES

And it sounds like ray leather is a lucrative business. We can always get into that market if it comes to it.  

#### NOOR

It won't.

#### ALESTES

That's what they all say. _(making the decision)_ Yes. You can keep your weird little pets in my aquarium until I decide otherwise. 

#### NOOR

...Thank you. 

#### SIVA

Congratulations, Noor!! 

#### BAKER

_(sighing)_ Sounds like that's settled, then.

##### [AS SIVA GOES ON ANOTHER ENTHUSIASTIC RANT ABOUT HIS STINGRAY CATCHING ABILITY, WE FOCUS IN ON ALESTES AND BAKER.]

#### ALESTES

_(about to raise something serious)_ Baker? 

#### BAKER

_(weary)_  Yes, Alestes?

##### [ALESTES CONSIDERS HIM... THEN CHANGES HER MIND.]

#### ALESTES

_(a form of love)_ Here, you can have the last potato. 

##### [SHOW THEME -- OUTRO]

#### SIVA

Trice Forgotten is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International License. The series is created by Nemo Martin and directed by Rafaella Marcus. Today's episode was written by Morgan Givens and edited by Katharine Seaton and Catherine Rinella.

Trice Forgotten features: Rebecca Brough, Vic Zander, Shahan Hamza, Gigi Zahir, with additional voices by Maddy Searle, Karim Kronfli, Ahmed Aljabry, and Lydia Nicholas. *Trice Forgotten* is produced by Ian Geers and production manager Natasha Johnston, with executive producers Alexander J Newall and April Sumner.

To subscribe, view associated materials, or join our Patreon, visit rustyquill.com. Rate and review us online, tweet us @therustyquill, visit us on Facebook or email us at mail@rustyquill.com. Thanks for listening.