---
layout:          post
title:           "MAG160.07 - MAG Duskhollow PD - Part 2"
date:            2020-02-06 11:00:00 -0400
categories:      special
tags:            []
voiced:          [Jonny Sims, Frank Voss, Lowri Ann Davies, Alexander Newell, Sasha Sienna]
episode_title:   'MAG Duskhollow PD - Part 2'
episode_number:  '160.07'
summary:         "Join Jonny, Frank, Sasha, Alex and Lowri as they play MacGuffin & Co's original TTRPG 'Duskhollow PD' <br/><br/>This second episode sees the team split their resources to follow up the leads they've found. Emma and Archie head to 'The Last Drop' while Gabrielle Schreiber and Detective Sergeant Carl Husselback pay Angela Grockle a visit."
content_flags:   []
acast_url:       https://play.acast.com/s/themagnusarchives/magduskhollowpd-part2
formats: 
  Google Doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1A56AB_1xggwqM6TU906vPJV1xyD-S5X_ac0FKMzSqIg/edit
official:        false
unofficial:      https://tmblr.co/m68FmGKUY6bSy__wx9P5iEA
unofficial_name: mileaftermile.tumblr.com
wiki_url:        
---

#### JONNY

Hello again! It's still us.

##### [LAUGHTER]

I say still, if you've started listening here rather than the last episode.... Don't.

#### LOWRI

It might be interesting!

#### JONNY

And...

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ Don't let Jonny tell you what to do, live your best life.

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ You'll -- It won't make any sense!

#### FRANK

_[continuing]_ Jump into the middle of the story, don't understand anything!

#### ALEX

Middle of the episode!

#### JONNY

So, this is episode 2 of our Duskhollow PD actual play. _[dramatic]_ There's been a murder!

##### [EVERYONE GASPS]

You -- what -- it's not a surprise! You've been investigating him for like an hour now!

#### FRANK

What!?

#### ALEX

Still maintaining it's just a massive heart attack. Just an _[with a lot of emphasis]_ *enormous* heart attack.

#### JONNY

In the sense that something attacked his heart in a weird way... then, yes.

#### SASHA

Was definitely the housekeeper.

#### ALEX

Oh, yeah, with the poisoned broth! That you insisted on guzzling.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### SASHA

_[overlapping]_ I was hungry, okay!

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ Like a kid at a candy store!

#### LOWRI

Is that just 'cause *Sasha* was hungry?

#### SASHA

Yes, it's entirely because Sasha was *so* hungry.

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ Oh, no, no.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ Hold on, so -- so are you saying --

#### SASHA

-- I made my character eat stew.

#### LOWRI

_[overlapping]_ Go into to the kitchen --

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ Do you -- does Gabrielle --

#### SASHA

_[overlapping]_ Gabrielle --

#### JONNY

-- Schreiber believe that the stew might have been poisoned?

#### SASHA

No, because she did eat some and she's still fine.

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ Okay, okay, cool.

#### SASHA

Wait. Is she still fine?

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

Yeah, that's -- that's -- let's say yeah.

#### SASHA

Well, for now she hasn't noticed any worrying symptoms but we'll see how she rolls, I guess.

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ Okay. Okay.

#### ALEX

_[laughing]_ I love that "Is she fine?" "Depends, what's your fortitude?"

#### LOWRI

_[overlapping]_ Literally.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

So. You have a few -- a few clues to follow up. Uh...

#### LOWRI

Can we introduce ourselves?

#### JONNY

Oh! _[fake irritated]_ Yeah, I guess. Ugh... fine.

##### [LOWRI LAUGHING QUIETLY]

#### ALEX

That's not how Jonny rolls in any show he's in.

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ _[still irritated]_ Who are you? I -- actually in this system, I do basically *no* rolling.

##### [ALEX LAUGHS]

#### FRANK

That's fine, 'cause I hate what Alex said anyway.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

Yeah. So, Lowri, who are you?

#### LOWRI

Oh, hello I'm Lowri, I produce The Magnus Archives and I'm playing Emma Walensky, conspiracy theorist.

#### ALEX

Extraordinaire.

#### LOWRI

Extraordinaire.

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ Uh, no. _[with feeling]_ Very much not extraordinaire!

##### [LAUGHTER]

##### [LOTS OF UNINTELLIGIBLE CROSSTALK]

#### LOWRI

_[overlapping]_ I am really good!

#### JONNY

Very -- very, like...

#### SASHA

_[overlapping]_ Bargain bin conspiracy theorist!

##### [ALEX LAUGH-COUGHING IN BACKGROUND]

#### LOWRI

_[overlapping]_ I believe anything!

#### JONNY

Conspiracy theorist 'traordinaire. And... Frank, who are you?

#### FRANK

Hi, I'm Frank. I voice Basira in The Magnus Archives and I am playing Detective Sergeant Carl Husselbeck.

#### JONNY

Alex, who are you?

#### ALEX

I am Alex Newall, I voice Martin and I'm playing Archie Murdoch who I'm rapidly coming to realize is... _[sounding annoyed at himself]_ Martin's American cousin. He wasn't meant to be, but he just kind of is.

#### FRANK

Oh, no wonder I hate him.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

And, Sasha?

#### SASHA

I'm playing Gabrielle Schreiber.

#### JONNY

Yeah, but who -- who are you?

#### SASHA

Oh, sorry, yeah, no! I'm Sasha. I'm still Sasha. Me, Sasha. I play Georgie on The Magnus Archives and I'm playing Gabrielle Schreiber, skeptic, again, of regular proportions.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

Yep. And we are playing Duskhollow PD, a micro-setting from MacGuffin & Company, which is myself and Sasha's games company, that you should all --

#### SASHA

_[overlapping]_ It's real good!

#### JONNY

Yeah, it is. It's really good.

#### LOWRI

_[overlapping]_ It is!

#### JONNY

And we're using the system The Cthulhu Hack by Paul Baldowski.

#### LOWRI

We did another game of yours, over on the Gaming feed if you want to go and listen to that!

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ Yes, actually. But, uh, I feel -- that's -- that's -- is that an end of the episode plug that we should probably do?

#### ALEX

Yeah, definitely.

#### JONNY

Yeah.

#### FRANK

Just do it every five minutes.

#### JONNY

_[sing-song]_ Cross-promotion! _[lowers voice, still sing-song]_ Gotta look at another feed. _[normal]_ There's a weird energy in this room, and it's mainly coming from me.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

That's an accurate statement.

#### FRANK

Yep.

#### JONNY

So. Last time you found a body _[mispronounces "body" as "bode-y_"]. There were all sorts of cool clues, all sorts of interesting leads.

#### ALEX

Oh, were there? I mean, I don't know about all the rest of you, but I definitely didn't notice any clues whatsoever.

#### JONNY

That's fine.

#### FRANK

Well, I'm covered in blood now.

#### SASHA

That's only 'cause you took a nap in the garden.

#### FRANK

No, it was before that.

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ You didn't need -- you didn't take a nap in the garden. You didn't -- didn't take a nap -- it's...

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ You took a nap on the corpse!

#### JONNY

_[exasperated]_ You don't sleep, you can't sleep when you're on duty --

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ Well that's where it's warm!

#### JONNY

-- all you can do is shotgun coffee.

#### ALEX

S'true.

#### JONNY

It's -- that's the rules. Probably, I don't think we put that in there, but --

#### SASHA

_[overlapping slightly]_ That is -- we didn't put that in there.

#### JONNY

Yeah, no one sleeps, they just drink coffee. Uh...

#### SASHA

That's not canon.

##### [ALEX LAUGHS]

That's like -- I need to point that out.

#### JONNY

Definitely canon. Well, support us on Patreon, read the micro-setting and find out for yourself.

##### [FRANK, ALEX AND LOWRI "OOH"]

#### JONNY

So. What's everyone's next move?

##### [RAIN SFX START]

#### LOWRI

Can I ask -- so, all the information that we gathered...

#### JONNY

You -- you pretty much share it. Unless there's a specific thing that you're like _[scheming voice]_ "I'm not telling anyone else about this".

#### LOWRI

I mean I'm not telling anyone that I pocketed -- oh, that is hard to say -- _[enunciates]_ pocketed some timetables.

#### JONNY

No. That's fine.

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ Or that you put goo everywhere.

#### JONNY

That's fine, but I, uh --

#### LOWRI

_[overlapping]_ I think I got caught doing that, but, yeah.

#### JONNY

-- But I'm assuming that you have shared the clue of the burned timetable.

#### LOWRI

Yes.

#### JONNY

From the wastepaper bin?

#### LOWRI

Yes.

#### JONNY

Yep. Okay.

#### ARCHIE

Well, jeez, I mean -- I don't -- I don't think I should necessarily be -- what, with the one suggesting things, I mean, you know, there's a -- there's a match... book... thing for a Long Drop and we could, you know, with the --

#### JONNY

The Last Drop.

#### ALEX

I, in --

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ The Long Drop is a different pub.

#### ALEX

In character, I definitely said The Long Drop.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

That's fair, that's fair. The Long Drop is a pub that is up over five stories. It has a central, sort of, well that goes down all five of them and no safety rails.

#### ARCHIE

I'm thinking we should probably check this, 'cause with -- with the cigarettes and the -- with the -- with the matchbooks and --

#### EMMA

I like your instincts, kid. Your theory --

#### ARCHIE

_[surprised]_ Oh, thanks.

#### EMMA

Your theory with the heart -- the exploding heart?

#### ARCHIE

Yeah!

#### EMMA

_[whispering conspiratorially]_ That is a method they use.

#### LOWRI

And she winks. With both eyes.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

Out of sequence!

#### ARCHIE

_[weirded out]_ Okay, cool!

#### JONNY

So, Walensky and Murdoch are going after the -- going to The Last Drop. What about you guys?

#### FRANK

Oh god.

#### SASHA

I'm -- I -- I don't know that it's really -- there's much point investigating more at this point. It's clearly the housekeeper.

#### ALEX

Make the arrest, kick -- kick up for the rest of the episode.

#### JONNY

I mean, are you making the arrest?

#### SASHA

No, no, we need more evidence. I mean it's obviously the housekeeper. She found the body, no one can account for her whereabouts, she's cooked up some cock and bull story about... some perp with a scar. Well, that's convenient, every fake perp's got a scar 'cause you're bound to never find a blonde, tall, thin woman covered in blood with a scar over one eye! That's not gonna happen, it's -- she's just sending us on a wild goose chase!

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ That's what my mum looks like, thank you.

#### SASHA

And I've spent enough of that time on a wild goose chase before I came here, chasing geese.

#### ALEX

Oh, it takes ages.

#### FRANK

Why are we chasing geese?

#### SASHA

They were criminals, hardened criminals.

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ They can't put... _[unintelligible]_

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ That -- that is not the job I sent you on.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### SASHA

Well, sometimes the job finds you.

##### [MORE LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

So. Are you guys heading back to the police station, are you following up a different lead, are you also going to The Last Drop?

#### SASHA

Well, I have got Angela Grockle's address. Looks like she was in touch with the deceased quite a lot so maybe that she's got some evidence against the housekeeper, she might be able to tell us more about their relationship.

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ Yeah, can't hurt.

#### SASHA

_[overlapping]_ Could help us with our inquiries.

#### JONNY

Okay. Yeah, let's start with Frank and Sasha.

#### ALEX

_[whispering]_ Hey Lowri, that makes us the B team!

##### [THEY HIGH-FIVE]

Yeah!

##### [QUIET LAUGHTER]

##### [SFX OF CAR DOORS OPENING]

#### JONNY

You park the police car and drive down. The address for Angela Grockle is out in the suburbs of Duskhollow. The rain continues to beat down but when you get out of the city it becomes less oppressive and more just... drab. Rows and rows of identical houses. Cars that, they just make you feel kind of sad.

#### ALEX

So less oppressive and more repressive rain?

#### JONNY

Little bit, little bit, little bit. All the windows, curtains closed, except they twitch sometimes like someone's just looking out, staring at you as you roll by. Angela Grockles's house looks no different to any of the others. The only difference is that it is number *fifteen*. The one before it? Number thirteen. One after it? Number twenty. Where's seventeen? Or nineteen. Who knows?

#### LOWRI

Why is twenty on the wrong side of the road?

#### JONNY

Good questions all.

#### SASHA

Is that like a gap between the houses or does it just like -- it's like semi-detached --

#### JONNY

I'm gonna say that there is one house's space. There probably -- there should -- like, it looks like there should be *a* house but that house is gone.

#### ALEX

You need to find Professor Dumbledore and he'll be able to tell you where it is --

##### [LOWRI GASPS]

-- and you'll be able to get in.

#### FRANK

No, he retired, he doesn't work for the force anymore.

##### [ALEX MAKES AN "OH, DARN" NOISE]

#### LOWRI

He went to The Long Drop.

#### SASHA

_[overlapping]_ Maybe we can get him back --

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### LOWRI

Oh no!

#### JONNY

Yeah, you vaguely recall one of the other detectives being assigned to some case out here, where like a house had gone and they vanished as well. You know, it was a whole -- I mean, it would have been a big thing but, like, detectives vanish a lot. You know? Not as much as rookies, but, you know, a lot. So the house is a very standard suburban home. "Number fifteen" is on a plaque just outside, in the shape of an old steam train.

#### FRANK

Gonna knock on the door?

#### JONNY

There's the sound of shuffling from inside, and the door opens.

#### ALEX

It's an elderly steam train.

#### JONNY

Well, she -- she's not elderly, uh...

#### FRANK

But is she a steam train?

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ But she *is* a steam... _[trailing off, laughing]_

#### JONNY

Oh yeah, you know, I should have said, no, she's not a steam train --

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ Oh, okay.

#### JONNY

_[continuing]_ -- she is a person. She's probably, like, maybe early fifties? Cardigan, corduroy skirt, well-maintained all over.

#### ANGELA

Yes, can I, uh, can I help you? At all?

#### CARL

You are... Ms. Grockle?

#### ANGELA

*Mrs*. Grockle, yes.

#### CARL

*Angela* Grockle.

#### ANGELA

That's me, yes. W-what's this about?

#### CARL

Detectives...

#### FRANK

_[undertone]_ What's my name, again?

#### ALEX

... Are here, hello.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### SASHA

Husselbeck.

#### FRANK

Husselbeck! Thank you.

#### CARL

Detectives Husselbeck and Schreiber.

#### ANGELA

Oh! Oh goodness! W-what can I do for you, detectives?

#### CARL

Well, might we... come in to this...

#### ANGELA

Yes, no, no, please, absolutely. Would you like some tea? Some coffee? A hot chocolate? Tall glass of water. Some juice? Grape? Mango? Orange? With chunks. Don't have many non-chunk orange juice, I'm afraid, if that's -- that's what you're desperately looking for. Anyway, come in, sit down.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### CARL

Thank you.

##### [DOOR CLOSES; A CLOCK IS TICKING INSIDE]

#### FRANK

Just gently... try not to leave blood everywhere.

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ Yeah, it's --

#### ANGELA

Oh goodness! Uh, you -- hold on. I'll get some more doilies.

#### JONNY

She gets some more doilies and places them down just where-wherever you're about to touch. She'll just place down a doily.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ Under each foot as they walk around!

#### ANGELA

So yes, please, take a seat. What can I do for you?

#### CARL

You were in contact with a Mr. Geoffrey Mariner?

#### ANGELA

Geoffrey, yes! Yes, charming boy. Has something happened to him?

#### CARL

He's dead.

#### ANGELA

Oh!

##### [MUFFLED LAUGHTER]

Oh no! That's very difficult to hear.

##### [SASHA LAUGHS]

#### GABRIELLE

You might want to have sat down for that, miss.

##### [SOMEONE LAUGHS]

#### ANGELA

It's too late for that, I'm afraid.

#### FRANK

Sorry, I was distracted by all the doilies.

#### ANGELA

Right! Well. What brings you to my doo-- I mean, obviously I was friends with him, we -- we communicated pretty regularly, but... I'm not a suspect, am I?

#### ALEX

_[imitating]_ I am shocked! Shocked and innocent!

#### ANGELA

I mean in my defense, I am both shocked and innocent.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### GABRIELLE

Just ignore the voices in your head, ma'am.

##### [MORE LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

No, she -- she volunteered that.

#### SASHA

Okay. Yeah.

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ Just, you know, 'cause it -- 'cause it is in her defense.

#### CARL

That's a strange thing to say apropos of absolutely nothing.

#### ANGELA

Well, I mean there has been a murder, you said.

#### ALEX

You're covered in blood!

##### [LAUGHTER]

##### [SOMEONE SHUSHES HIM]

#### JONNY

And you're covered in blood.

#### GABRIELLE

Did Mr. Mariner have any enemies that you know of?

#### ANGELA

Not that I know of. We didn't really talk much about his personal life.

#### GABRIELLE

What did you talk about?

#### ANGELA

Oh, trains. Mostly. I mean, do you know much about... trains? Detective?

#### GABRIELLE

I have been on several.

##### [SOUND OF CUCKOO CLOCK IN BACKGROUND]

#### ANGELA

It's fascinating, fascinating business, steam trains, especially. It's all about the power of water, you see. It all used to be canals, did -- [stutters] -- did you know that? There -- there was some -- there was a decade when everyone was building canals, connecting the -- the industry with canals. But that sort of water, slow, boring... useless. And then the train. The power of steam. You see, detectives. Harnessing the power of steam to revolutionize the world -- but people have forgotten. All this... electricity. Sorry, it's a little bit of a hobby for me, of course this is -- this is the sort of thing that we used to talk about by o-our letters m-myself and Geoffrey, I believe he was writing a book on it?

#### CARL

Mmm, yes, I did see a... a manuscript.

#### JONNY

Could you both roll me Smokes, actually, 'cause we're having a -- we're having a bit of a chat.

##### [DICE ROLLING]

#### LOWRI

I don't think --

#### SASHA

I've got a six!

#### LOWRI

_[continuing]_ -- Frank can?

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ Yes. Oh, no, no, out of Flashlights.

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ I can roll Smokes, I can't roll Flashlights

#### LOWRI

_[overlapping]_ Ohh.

#### JONNY

_[slightly overlapping]_ Yeah, like I'm not -- I'm not giving Frank --

#### ALEX

_[overlapping, background]_ Your bandolier of Flashlights is low.

#### JONNY

_[continuing]_ -- any chance to -- to pick up on any *visual* clues of this place.

#### FRANK

_[background]_ What's that say?

#### JONNY

That's a seven.

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ That's a seven, okay.

#### JONNY

Yeah, you're good, you're good.

#### ALEX

Boo!

#### LOWRI

Says the --

#### SASHA

How 'bout a little team spirit, Alex?

#### ALEX

No.

##### [LAUGHTER]

Failure is the best outcome.

#### JONNY

So --

#### ANGELA

Yes, anyway, I'm dreadfully sorry going off on one of my little rants, obviously it's not particularly relevant to your -- your case. It's not relevant to your case, is it detectives?

#### GABRIELLE

Well, that's remains to be seen.

#### ANGELA

Oh, I see.

#### FRANK

Quickly out of character, because I forgot to make some notes, wasn't there a particular kind of train that he was really...

#### JONNY

Yes, the British Rail standards.

#### FRANK

Okay.

#### JONNY

BR standards. And the letter that you found from Angela, the most recent one that Lowri found seemed to -- it seemed like it would have accompanied a package of some sort. It refers to "here is".

#### ALEX

Perhaps an enormous thirty-two to sixty-four tonne package? Perhaps _[louder, more dramatic]_ a *train* package?

#### JONNY

I -- I mean, probably not. The postal service is impressive, Alex, but, uh...

#### ALEX

No, this -- this case is coming together, it's very clear, what happened is he had --

#### FRANK

It's the perfect crime, use a train to smuggle another train.

##### [LOWRI LAUGHS]

#### ALEX

It's simple: someone posted him a whole train and he had a heart attack from how happy he was at being posted a train! This case is solving itself.

#### FRANK

Yeah, open and shut.

#### SASHA

Much like his chest!

##### [LAUGHTER]

Hey-oh!

#### FRANK

It's not very shut anymore.

#### GABRIELLE

Did you know his housekeeper? She apparently handled a lot of his post.

#### ANGELA

Not personally, I think he made reference to her sometimes? Nelson or Nellie or... Napoleon? I

don't really know, I don't remember. Neil, maybe?

#### GABRIELLE

And do you remember what he said about her, was it positive, negative? Neutral?

#### ANGELA

He went into quite some detail about how she wasn't planning to kill him at any point, uh...

##### [LAUGHTER]

-- in the near or distant future. How much he -- he trusted her with his life.

#### GABRIELLE

Very convenient.

#### CARL

That a joke, Mrs. Grockle?

#### ANGELA

Yes, of course, of course.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### CARL

_[overlapping]_ Well, it's not really appropriate

#### GABRIELLE

_[overlapping]_ It's hardly in good taste, I'd say.

#### ANGELA

Well, he had a very dark sense of humor, I'm sure he would appreciate it.

#### ALEX

"Was that a joke?" "Yes, of course, he wouldn't *stop* saying how she's definitely going to kill him!"

##### [LAUGHTER]

Would go *on* and *on*...

#### GABRIELLE

The deceased received a package from yourself, I believe?

#### ANGELA

Oh yes, the -- the -- the cap and the timetable, I don't really know much about them? They were... I mean, very little to do with me to be honest. I -- I -- I simply noticed them in a curiosity shop and posted them his way, thought they might be good for his research.

##### [MODEL TRAIN HORN BLOWING IN BACKGROUND]

#### GABRIELLE

Hmm, is that so. That's not what it sounded like from the note that you sent.

#### ANGELA

Oh, I mean, I -- he -- he was, I mean, he was very interested in that sort of paraphernalia so I -- I simply --

I simply noticed it in a shop, purchased it in that shop, and...

#### GABRIELLE

_[overlapping]_ The note that you sent referenced something that *we* have been looking for?

#### ANGELA

_[overlapping]_ Y-yes.

#### GABRIELLE

Sounds like it was something you were *both* very interested in.

#### ANGELA

We -- we, I mean, we both liked -- both liked trains, you saw my house number. It's a steam train. With a

fifteen on it.

#### GABRIELLE

Yes, I noticed that, I'm a detective.

#### ANGELA

Yes, well, you know, we're both very interested in trains but I -- I -- we've been looking for timetables and -- and paraphernalia that -- that -- regarding some of the old -- the old British Rail standard trains for some times. I -- I noticed it in a --

#### GABRIELLE

Would that be steam trains or electric trains?

#### ANGELA

Oh, steam trains, steam trains, of course!

#### CARL

Can you account for your whereabouts over the last couple of days, Mrs. Grockle?

#### ANGELA

Yes, absolutely.

#### JONNY

She wanders over, finds what looks to be a diary and starts listing off quite a lot of very public places that she was --

#### ANGELA

Well, I was in the -- the supermarket for about four hours, uh...

#### ALEX

Not doing a murder.

##### [QUIET LAUGHTER]

#### ANGELA

-- yesterday. Then I was -- I decided to take in a show. You can see my tickets here. You know, I was -- I was taking a walk in the park at peak dog walking hours. I think -- I think, actually -- yes, here's a... a Polaroid that a -- that a dog walker took of me --

#### ALEX

For all of you police procedural fans, this is what's called an *orgy of evidence*.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

Orgy of *alibis*.

#### SASHA

And is the, uh, is the ticket that she tells us, is that stamped or like ripped? Yeah...

#### JONNY

_[overlapping slightly]_ Yeah, it all -- yeah, yeah, it all -- like as far as you can tell these alibis are all solid.

#### LOWRI

What did she see?

#### JONNY

Sorry?

#### LOWRI

What show did she see?

#### JONNY

Casablanca.

#### LOWRI

_[interesting]_ Oh... the stage show.

#### JONNY

No, it was a film.

#### LOWRI

Ah.

#### JONNY

But it was in the theater. They show movies sometimes.

#### LOWRI

Just interesting.

#### CARL

Excuse me, Walensky, can you stop astral projecting into our investigation?

#### LOWRI

Sorry, apologies.

#### Angela

Yes, detective, you -- your voice changed ever so slightly there, but it's -- it's fine.

#### CARL

I'm sorry, I -- obviously, the cigarettes clear up my throat.

#### ALEX

You really do need to install a fourth wall in this building at some point.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ANGELA

But yes, I can probably find you the -- the receipt for the -- the items if you -- if you need it.

#### GABRIELLE

That would be helpful, thank you. And I suppose you don't mind if we have a look around?

#### ANGELA

No, no, no, please.

#### CARL

How 'bout your husband?

#### ANGELA

Hmm? Oh, he's away.

#### GABRIELLE

Away where?

#### ANGELA

Business. Has been for several years now. _[chuckles]_ Just one of my little jokes. He's dead.

#### CARL

Oh.

#### ANGELA

Business of decomposing. Just one of my little jokes.

#### ALEX

I really want to set her up with the doctor, they would be really happy together.

##### [LOWRI GASPS]

#### LOWRI

Oh my gosh, you go.[^1]

[^1]: Not sure about what Lowri says here.

#### JONNY

She will come back with a receipt from Whateley's Books And Curios. For one train conductor's hat and one timetable, brackets old. Yeah, you can have a look around her house, make me a Flashlights roll?

#### SASHA

Okay, here goes...

##### [DICE ROLLING]

Six!

#### JONNY

It's a very... it's *exactly* the house that you would expect this woman to have. Almost suspiciously so?

#### SASHA

_[overlapping]_ _[suspicious]_ Hmm. Hmmm.

#### JONNY

It's almost just as suspiciously, exactly what this house you would expect this woman to have, but you can have a -- you can, like, pull out all the books, see if there's a secret passage, or like, just kick up a rug looking for a trapdoor, and you can't see anything.

#### SASHA

Okay.

#### FRANK

Does she have, like, a shed or anything in the garden?

#### JONNY

Yes, she does.

##### [SFX: RAIN, BIRDS CHIRPING]

#### FRANK

Okay, I have a look around the shed.

#### JONNY

Oh, it's locked.

#### CARL

Mrs.... Surname?

#### ANGELA

Uh, Grockle. Mrs. Grockle.

#### CARL

_[overlapping]_ Grockle. Sorry, it's been a long day.

#### ANGELA

Uh, yes?

#### CARL

Can we have a look in the shed?

#### ANGELA

Of course, of course.

#### JONNY

She comes over, she unlocks the shed, she opens it up and it's full of gardening tools.

#### ALEX

Suspiciously full, you could say.

#### JONNY

Sus-- I mean, you could say -- I mean, they're very neatly organized, not a spot of rust on any of them.

#### FRANK

How nice is her garden?

#### JONNY

As nice as you'd expect.

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ Suspiciously as nice as you'd expect.

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ _[unintelligible]_... for an average garden.

#### ANGELA

Yes well, you know, my... _[Jonny is clearly making this up on the spot]_ Marvin --

##### [FRANK SNORTS]

##### [ALEX LAUGHS]

-- loved his garden. And I've kept his tools pristine in memory of him.

#### CARL

Isn't that nice.

#### ANGELA

I'm glad to hear you say, that most of the -- most of the others at the WI think it's a little bit morbid.

#### CARL

_[unconvincingly]_ No.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

I love that you're investigation technique is that you're both just stonewalling simultaneously, so it's just this poor woman like "hello!" and just by staring is like "I don't -- I feel like I'm being pressured but I haven't been asked a question!" so...

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ I feel like...

#### SASHA

_[overlapping]_ I've asked several questions --

#### LOWRI

_[overlapping]_ Very pertinent ones?

#### SASHA

_[continuing]_ -- about what kind of train she's into? And, uh, why she bought a hat!

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### FRANK

I feel like, in terms of accomplishing anything, we've split the teams on the wrong axis.

##### [MORE LAUGHTER]

#### SASHA

Yeah, definitely.

#### LOWRI

Oh, I don't know!

#### JONNY

Frank, you get a ping on your pager, the station needs you to call in. You don't have -- no one has mobile phones in Duskhollow. Police have pagers and they need to go to one of the rotary phone boxes that... line most streets. Call the station.

#### FRANK

Yeah, I will say my goodbye, apologize for leaving so hastily and leaving *so* much blood around.

#### ANGELA

No, that's fine, that's fine. I'll just, uh... clean it.

#### CARL

Bit of peroxide, great for getting blood out of fabrics.

#### ANGELA

_[overlapping]_ I know.

#### GABRIELLE

Sarge, should we be handing out that information?

#### CARL

Well, she said she knows.

##### [LOWRI LAUGHS]

It figures *she* knows how to get blood out.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### FRANK

Yep.

#### ANGELA

Are there any final questions?

#### GABRIELLE

Not yet, but don't leave town.

#### ANGELA

Oh, no. I wouldn't dream of it, detective.

##### [SFX: RAIN, DISTANT MUSIC AND THE SOUND OF A CROWD]

#### JONNY

So, meanwhile at The Last Drop. The Last Drop is a *dingy* establishment, still lit partially by gaslight. It's down some stairs from the street. So it's like one of them basement bars, you know, the cool basement bars but also dangerous.

#### FRANK

Is The Long Drop directly above The Last Drop?

#### JONNY

It's -- it's the... it's the building opposite? And just sort of towers over...

#### SASHA

Bit of a turf war.

#### JONNY

I mean, you joke but... yes, there have been quite a few murders about it.

#### FRANK

_[dramatic]_ Only one Drop on this street.

#### JONNY

So, yeah, it's -- it's quite late now and the place seems pretty -- pretty hoppin'.

#### ALEX

Now, are we -- to be clear, are we talking like speakeasy style where you got your door with your slider and you've got to get in or we're talking more, like, a bit more open-fronted?

#### JONNY

A bit more open-fronted. The door is clearly closed, like, it's clearly a bar which doesn't want you coming in?

#### ALEX

Okay.

#### JONNY

But it's not actively trying to stop you.

#### EMMA

Kid.

#### ARCHIE

Hmm?

#### EMMA

Before we go in --

#### ARCHIE

_[overlapping]_ Mm-hmm, yeah --

#### EMMA

-- hold your hand out.

#### ARCHIE

Which one?

#### EMMA

Either.

#### ALEX

Okay, I hold up both.

#### EMMA

Okay.

#### LOWRI

I just sprinkle some salt into one of your hands.

#### ALEX

I lick it.

##### [QUIET LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

Shouldn't do that, it's bad for your blood pressure.

#### EMMA

You know...

#### JONNY

_[continuing]_ In fact, take a point of damage.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

Down to seven.

#### JONNY

Should have really made you make a constitution check but I -- you're probably predisposed to it.

#### LOWRI

_[overlapping]_ Nah.

#### ALEX

No, because then I'd fail the constitution check and take *two* damage, I've played this game before.

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ Yeah that's fair, that's fair, that's fair.

#### EMMA

Good, good, good to know, you passed the test.

#### ARCHIE

_[weirded out]_ Okay, yes...

#### ALEX

I then go in the -- inside?

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

As you open the door, a figure sort of bumps into you, as walking -- as they're walking past.

#### ALEX

Are they tall, thin, female --

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ No, they're short --

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ -- blonde and with a scar?

#### JONNY

No, they're short, broad, and wearing an anorak.

#### ALEX

_[still suspicious]_ Aaalright, then.

#### JONNY

They sort of --

#### MYSTERY PERSON

Sorry.

#### JONNY

-- wander off.

#### ARCHIE

Okay, so... I mean, we ask the -- at the front with the, um, bar person and then from there, we'll do the -- thing, yeah?

#### EMMA

I trust you, kid, I trust you, you've got good instincts.

#### ARCHIE

Oh jeez, that's a lot of pressure really early, um, okay.

#### EMMA

Look, you just --

##### [THEY ENTER THE BAR]

#### JONNY

So the place goes a little bit quiet as you start to walk in 'cause you're -- you know, you, at least, are in police uniform, Alex, and there are enough people here -- in here who are definitely some criminals. But they're like -- _[growls under breath]_ -- like giving you -- giving you evils.

#### ARCHIE

_[undertone]_ Oh, it's okay, I've seen how to deal with this on TV.

#### EMMA

Kid, low profile, low profile.

#### ALEX

Oh yeah, you said that -- like, metagame, you said that at *exactly* the right time.

#### ARCHIE

Oh, right, yeah. _[louder, unconvincing]_ No cops here!

#### LOWRI

I just grab -- she -- she grabs you and just forcibly walks you to the bar.

#### JONNY

Behind the bar is the owner of The Last Drop, she is -- like, if you're looking for someone with a scar, you've found someone with basically more scar than face?

#### ALEX

_[whispering]_ Case closed.

#### JONNY

Well, let me just -- every -- like, she's wearing one of them short sleeve -- I was gonna say one of them short sleeve bar shirts, but is that a thing? I don't think that's a thing.

#### ALEX

I know what you mean!

#### SASHA

Yeah, I know what you mean as well.

#### JONNY

Okay, cool. She's wearing on them short sleeve bar -- bar shirts we all have a reference for, and all the, like, just every bit of skin has got scars or brui-- like, she runs a very rough pub, and cleans glasses with her, like -- the glass is dirty? She washed it in some dirty water, she's cleaning it with a dirty rag.

#### BARTENDER

Well? What do you want, cops?

#### EMMA

Two whiskeys and, uh, some information.

#### ARCHIE

And I'll have a lemonade!

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### BARTENDER

One whiskey.

#### JONNY

Pours it out.

#### BARTENDER

Two whiskeys.

#### JONNY

Pours it out.

#### BARTENDER

Lemonade.

#### JONNY

Pours you a shot of lemonade.

#### BARTENDER

Information I won't give you as I don't talk to cops.

#### ARCHIE

_[whispering]_ I've got a plan!

#### ALEX

Is there someone at the bar next to me?

#### JONNY

Yes.

#### FRANK

_[high-pitched]_ It's a child!

##### [LAUGHTER]

_[normal]_ No, I'm sorry.

#### JONNY

It is a child.

#### ALEX

_[incredulous]_ Okay.

#### JONNY

They're -- they're about eight, they're just staring into their whiskey glass, like they've got -- they've got problems.

#### ARCHIE

Um, oh jeez, uh, you -- you're not a cop, are you?

#### CHILD

No, mister.

#### ARCHIE

Cool, if I ask you some questions, could you then ask this bartender some questions?

#### CHILD

I don't talk to cops.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ARCHIE

Damn. Oh jeez, I really thought I had it there.

#### EMMA

Nice try, kid. Thinking outside the box, I like it.

#### CHILD

I know what happens to snitches.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ARCHIE

Really? What -- what does happen to snitches?

#### CHILD

Well... at lunchtime, on the playground... you get shivved.

##### [MORE LAUGHTER]

#### ARCHIE

Aw jeez. Aw jeez. This really isn't Morgan's Hill anymore, is it?

#### CHILD

It's a rough town, mister.

#### ARCHIE

Oh wow! Oh jeez, oh man, oh jeez.

#### LOWRI

Does -- does the bar person have a nametag?

#### JONNY

Yeah. It is an expletive.

#### LOWRI

Beep!

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

Okay, I can't maintain it -- the, uh -- Mara. Mara Brack.

#### EMMA

Mara, this, uh... we might be cops but this goes -- this goes all the way to the top. Like you and me, we're in this together, okay --

#### LOWRI

Why -- I've gone American now! I'm not American.

#### MARA

I don't know who you are.

#### EMMA

That's okay, you don't need to know who I am.

#### MARA

I do, though.

#### EMMA

Do you know Geoffrey Mariner?

#### MARA

No?

#### LOWRI

Is there an equivalent of a Sense Motivation?

#### JONNY

Well -- no, ro-- make me a Smokes roll.

#### LOWRI

Mm 'kay.

#### JONNY

Make me a Smokes roll.

#### LOWRI

Mmm, so I've got ten... I'm very charming, remember? That says so on my character sheet.

#### JONNY

Well --

#### LOWRI

Hashtag "just saying".

#### JONNY

Well, what are your -- so, what are your expertises?

#### LOWRI

Flattery is one of them, which I feel is quite relevant here.

#### JONNY

Okay, yeah, you -- you want to try with flattery, make me a Smokes roll, see how it goes.

#### ALEX

Listen here, you sexy bar... lady... person... sexy!

#### JONNY

Yeah, you clearly do *not* have flattery as an expertise.

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ I do not have that, but I could talk to her about _[???]_ [^2] 'til the -- cows come home.

[^2]: I can't for the life of me figure out what Alex is saying here.

##### [LOWRI LAUGHS]

##### [DICE ROLLING]

#### LOWRI

Nine.

##### [ALEX MAKES A DISAPPOINTED SOUND]

#### JONNY

Oh, okay, yeah. How're you gonna flatter Mara Brack, scarred owner of The Last Drop?

#### EMMA

You and me, we're cut from the same cloth, I see the toughness in your eyes. You don't survive in a town like this for as long as you and I have without *something* inside you. Some strength inside you.

#### MARA

And a lot of bullets.

##### [SASHA LAUGHS]

#### EMMA

I can see --

#### MARA

Scar tissue's too thick, can't cut 'em out, they're just in there.

#### LOWRI

I toast you with a whiskey and down it.

#### EMMA

To you, Mara. To you.

#### MARA

I like you, though obviously, you know, if you do threaten my establishment, I'll probably have to kill you and leave you in the back alley, but it's fine, it's fine.

#### EMMA

_[overlapping]_ I respect that for that, I respect you for that.

#### MARA

I haven't killed any cops that you can prove, but, you know... you know.

#### EMMA

Were they cops through-and-through, though? Were they human? We don't know. Let's ask no questions.

##### [BACKGROUND LAUGHTER]

#### MARA

I feel like I've lost control of this conversation a little bit. So what -- what are you here for?

#### EMMA

Geoffrey Mariner, the name, does it mean anything to you?

#### MARA

Nothing.

#### EMMA

Right, okay, I believe you this time.

#### MARA

Okay.

#### ARCHIE

Well, I mean, so I have an -- _[unconvincing]_ an ex-wife, okay? Who, I have to find, to give her the... divorce settlement! So, I'm looking for a woman who is tall, thin, blonde with a scar on one eye so that I can give her lots of money and then she will give some money to the people that help me find her.

#### JONNY

Make me a Smokes roll.

#### ALEX

_[triumphant]_ Yeaahh! I can't remember how to do that. I am on... oh, I've got a d8! I won't even die from this one.

##### [DICE ROLLING]

Oh, it's a six! Every single -- I saw every single one of you waiting for that one, I saw you all looking.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ I don't know what you're talking about.

##### [UNINTELLIGIBLE CROSSTALK]

#### MARA

_[overlapping]_ Hang on. You're *Marie's* ex.

#### ARCHIE

Yeaahh... yeaahh, I mean, look, there's -- I'm not gonna be a current am I? _[laughs nervously]_

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ Oh, I see why she left you, mister.

#### MARA

She said you had a beard.

#### ARCHIE

Oh, I shaved it off to prove my love.

#### MARA

She said you were like six foot eight.

#### ARCHIE

I wore platform shoes to prove my love.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### MARA

She said you weren't a cop.

#### ARCHIE

I became a cop after... because of my grief... because I wasn't a cop at first to prove my love.

#### MARA

I mean these are all very good reasons for her to divorce you, to be honest.

#### ARCHIE

I mean, I --

#### MARA

She's 'round the back there, you can have a -- you can go have a chat yourself.

#### ARCHIE

Absolutely, there's a reason why, you know, um... we're paying the settlement.

#### MARA

Sure, sure, well just so you know, she was with a fella earlier --

#### ARCHIE

_[unconvincing]_ Aw jeez. Oh no.

#### MARA

-- so maybe, uh...

#### ARCHIE

Could you give me an accurate description of the fella? Like height, weight...

#### MARA

_[overlapping]_ Don't know, he had a big coat on, kept his hood up.

#### ARCHIE

An anorak?

#### MARA

Yeah.

#### ARCHIE

Ohh.

#### MARA

One of them cagoules.

#### ARCHIE

Cagoule, okay. Well, th-thanks!

#### JONNY

Which for our American listeners, I don't know what words actually translate over the pond but it's -- it's -- it's another word for an anorak.

#### ALEX

A perv jacket.

#### JONNY

Yeah, one of them.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### LOWRI

Emma downs her second whiskey and the lemonade and --

#### JONNY

Could you make me a constitution roll, please?

#### LOWRI

Uh oh, I've got a seven.

#### FRANK

The whiskey was fine but it's the lemonade, oof.

##### [DICE ROLLING]

#### LOWRI

_[pained]_ Oh, eight.

#### JONNY

Yeah, I mean, Frank's right -- the whiskey? No problem, but the lemonade... it's old. It's probably been about a decade since someone's had a lemonade here, and you are feeling *remarkably* unwell. I'm probably gonna ask you to roll a d4 and lose that many hit points.

#### ALEX

_[whispering]_ Do what I do! Roll max!

##### [DICE ROLLING]

Or one, that's fine too.

#### JONNY

You lose a hit point.

#### ALEX

Lame.

#### LOWRI

I'm now on eleven.

#### ALEX

Lame.

#### EMMA

Come on kid, let's go see your, uh, your ex.

#### JONNY

See that there tall, thin, blonde woman in, like, a very, *very* sharp suit sitting in the back, sipping a tall drink. Close-cropped blonde hair, scar over one eye.

#### ALEX

It was Marie, right? Metagame, it was Marie, right?

#### LOWRI

Mm-hmm, yeah.

#### ARCHIE

_[hesitant]_ Uh, uh, ooh, M-Marie?

#### MARIE

Who's asking?

#### ARCHIE

Walensky and Murdoch, FBI.

#### MARIE

No, you ain't.

#### EMMA

No, you're --

#### ARCHIE

_[sheepish]_ That always -- that always works on TV shows.

#### MARIE

That badge says Duskhollow PD, I know -- I know a beat cop when I see one.

#### ARCHIE

I thought you just say "FBI".

#### EMMA

Okay, kid, I -- I've got this. Marie --

#### MARIE

Sure.

#### EMMA

That's a nice suit.

#### LOWRI

I flatter.

#### MARIE

*Thank* you. _[derisive]_ Cop!

#### EMMA

Yeah, sure.

#### LOWRI

I'm gonna sprinkle some salt on her. Does she dissolve?

#### JONNY

She does not.

##### [MUFFLED LAUGHTER]

She stares at you.

#### FRANK

Now try the goo!

#### MARIE

_[getting aggressive]_ What's this *about*, officers?

#### LOWRI

_[overlapping]_ Frank, the goo doesn't show anything!

#### EMMA

Does the name Geoffrey Mariner mean anything to you?

#### MARIE

No.

#### ARCHIE

Well, that's that case closed! Sorry for disturbing you, I'll --

#### JONNY

Make me a Flashlights roll.

#### LOWRI

Okay.

#### ALEX

Both of us?

#### JONNY

Mmm, no. Not you.

#### ALEX

Okay, good. Good.

##### [DICE ROLLING]

#### LOWRI

One.

#### ALEX

Yeessss!

#### LOWRI

Okay, so down to a d4.

#### JONNY

You notice that her -- the cuffs of her white shirt, under her very sharp suit, have some pretty clear dried blood on them.

#### LOWRI

Mmm.

#### JONNY

You notice that. She notices you noticing. She leaps up and makes a run for it.

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ I try and tackle her!

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ Oh no!

#### JONNY

'Kay, make me a... let's have -- let's have a strength check.

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ Just like cricket back at school.

##### [LOWRI LAUGHS]

'Kay, so I need to roll lower than my strength for this one, don't I?

#### JONNY

Yes, you do.

#### ALEX

Come on lucky zero! On a d20. Alright. And it is on a d20, yeah?

#### JONNY

Yes.

##### [ALEX LAUGHS WEIRDLY]

##### [DICE ROLLING]

#### ALEX

_[loud]_ Whoa!

#### SASHA

Heeyyy!

#### ALEX

Whoa, my strength is a nine and I got a four!

#### JONNY

Yeah, no you -- you're like, you take her down, like she's tall but she's, like -- like a bundle of twigs, she just goes down.

#### MARIE

Hey, get off me! Get off me!

#### EMMA

Nice work, kid!

#### ARCHIE

Now I want a cigarette! Gimme a cigarette. I want a cigarette, give me a cigarette.

#### MARIE

S-sure, o-okay, okay, okay!

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ARCHIE

_[weirdly aggressive]_ A cigarette, give me a cigarette!

#### JONNY

She'll reach into her --

#### ARCHIE

Give me a cig!

#### JONNY

-- into her jacket and hand you a Marlboro Red.

#### ARCHIE

Haaah! _[faintly disturbing sounds of triumph]_ I'm arresting you for possession of Marlboro Red!

#### JONNY

Are you? Are you saying those words?

#### ALEX

I think I'm gonna have to, yeah, 'cause I'm the rookie and that's how I roll.

#### JONNY

Okay, uh...

#### EMMA

Yes, kid, feel it, outside the box!

#### JONNY

The bar goes quiet. And the door opens. And in walks, a judge. Flanked by some officials from the town.

#### ARCHIE

Oh, this is so convenient!

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

The judge walks over. He's tall, he's wearing his robes.

#### JUDGE

_[clears throat]_ Officer... Murdoch.

#### ARCHIE

Y-yeah?

#### JUDGE

You've arrested this woman?

#### ARCHIE

I -- I am *trying* to, but there's so much going on!

#### JUDGE

What are the charges?

#### ARCHIE

Having bloody cuffs! Having a scar! Possession of Marlboro Reds!

#### JUDGE

None of these are crimes, Officer.

#### ARCHIE

No but they are 'cause -- 'cause they're tied to the -- to the _[stutters]_ murder so that their crimes to that. _[hisses to Emma]_ Help! Me! _[normal, Alex laughing]_ Why -- Walensky -- why are you not helping me?

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ Emma just looks away in contempt.

##### [A LOT OF UNINTELLIGIBLE CROSSTALK]

#### EMMA

_[overlapping]_ You're the only person I trust.

#### JUDGE

None of this is sufficient evidence to convict of a crime. I hereby throw out this case, the case of Marie for possession of Marlboro Reds. A note will be passed to your captain to follow up on this.

#### ARCHIE

Oh. What about loitering, can we get her on loitering?

#### EMMA

_[overlapping]_ Okay, kid.

#### JONNY

The judge has already turned to and started to walk away, the officials from the Town Hall follow behind him, the door closes and just, you know, life resumes in The Last Drop.

#### ARCHIE

What a nice man.

#### JONNY

You would -- none of that is weird to you, just so you know, that is how justice works in Duskhollow. When you make an arrest, the judge turns up, determines whether or not you've correctly arrested the person --

#### ALEX

Naturally.

#### JONNY

-- if they're guilty, they're taken away.

#### ALEX

I need you to know --

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ If not, the chief shouts at you.

#### ALEX

I need you to know, at some point we need to have this as a TV series and cast Martin Freeman as the straight man who just acknowledges how weird this is and no one else ever does.

#### LOWRI

So can we arrest her again? Is it kind of the same rules of "if you bring someone to court once" --

#### JONNY

It's a real *bad* idea to antagonize the judge.

#### LOWRI

Mmm.

#### JONNY

It is --

#### FRANK

What if you arrest the judge?

#### JONNY

I mean, you've heard that somebody tried once but, you know, they don't work for Duskhollow PD anymore. And people tell -- like, if people are suspended or they lose their -- their position in the police department, they -- like, they tend to end up as the subject of the next crime.

#### FRANK

Hmm. That's not weird or suspicious at all.

#### MARIE

I didn't kill him, okay?

#### EMMA

And how did you know he was dead?

#### MARIE

I mean, he wasn't when I got there.

#### ARCHIE

So he wasn't there -- he wasn't dead when you got there but he was dead when you left.

#### MARIE

I was -- I was told: go there. I was told he'd be dead already. I was told to cut the whistle out, I was told to take the cap, and I was told to return it. But when I got there, he was still reading his stuff, he was doing his whole *dance*, I don't know what the hell. So I stood there, I had a smoke, I waited -- he didn't see me, I was outside the window -- and then he keeled over dead. So when he was dead, like I was told he was gonna be, I went in -- look, this whole job has been a hell of a lot more of a headache then it was meant to be.

#### EMMA

Who gave you the job?

#### JONNY

She's starting to convulse ever so slightly.

#### EMMA

Oh no. Quickly, Marie! Quickly! Who gave you the job?

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ Slight -- slight foaming of the mouth!

#### ARCHIE

_[overlapping]_ Stop -- stop *convulsing,* it'll make it easier to speak.

#### EMMA

Oh my god.

#### ARCHIE

Foaming isn't going to help you, you know.

#### JONNY

Her limbs flail, knocking the whole drink --

#### EMMA

Don't touch her, kid, don't touch her!

#### JONNY

-- onto the table, and it sort of flows around, dripping down, as she _[makes dying sound]_. *Dead*.

#### FRANK

That's unfortunate.

#### ALEX

Just to the wider bar, in general --

#### ARCHIE

Does anyone know what happens now?

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### JONNY

Uh, Mara will --

#### ARCHIE

_[overlapping]_ Normally they're dead when I turn up.

#### JONNY

Mara will lean over --

#### MARA

I mean, usually the ambulance comes, I don't know, 'bout half an hour? We usually just walk around until then.

#### ARCHIE

I mean, okay. Can I touch -- no, that sounds terrible. Can I search the body?

#### EMMA

Just be careful, don't touch the froth, okay? That's how you get contaminated, okay?

#### ARCHIE

Okay?

#### JONNY

It looks like she's been poisoned.

#### ALEX

Hmm.

#### SASHA

Oh no, the stew!

#### ALEX

I proceed to search the now-corpse -- fresh corpse, without touching the skin, maybe using napkins and taking far longer than it really needs to.

#### JONNY

Sure. There is a note with a time. The time was about 10 minutes ago and the place was The Last Drop. There is a matchbook for The Last Drop, pack of Marlboro Red cigarettes, and that's about it.

#### ALEX

Okay.

#### JONNY

She did have a bag, but the bag is now empty.

#### ALEX

Right.

#### EMMA

That's not very human behavior, is it kid? Carrying an empty bag around. _[blows out breath]_ You know.

#### ARCHIE

_[weirded out again]_ Yeesss. Yeesss.

#### LOWRI

Can we take the body to the doctor?

#### ALEX

_[overlapping]_ I miss Schreiber.

#### JONNY

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, once the ambulance -- like, you can -- you can call it in and Doc Smiley[^3] will be there. Pretty sure they... _[trails off]_. So, yeah. Frank, are you heading to -- are you calling in?

[^3]: Pretty sure Jonny got the name of his own NPC wrong here.

##### [SFX: RAIN, BIRDS CHIRPING]

#### FRANK

Yes.

#### JONNY

The findings of the autopsy are ready.

#### FRANK

Guess I'll come back to the coroner's office and...

#### JONNY

Okay, Sasha, are you going with Husselbeck are you following a different lead?

#### SASHA

I'm following a different lead, so I'm actually gonna go and see Geoffrey Mariner's lawyer. Because, you know, in nine cases out of ten, a murder's done by the spouse. In those other cases where it's not the spouse, nine times out of ten it's the person who found the body. And in the other cases, nine times out of ten, it's -- it's to do with the will. So I'm -- and those are -- those are --

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ Sixty percent of the time I'm right every time.

#### SASHA

Those are the three kinds of murder. It's the spouse, it's the person who found the body, it's the person who benefits in the will. Three kinds of murder, so I'm gonna go see who was named in the will because if it's the housekeeper, I mean, case closed.

#### ALEX

So, *all* other crime is nought point one percent of the time?

#### SASHA

Yeah.

#### ALEX

Okay, cool.

#### JONNY

Geoffrey Mariner does not have a will.

#### FRANK

Or all other murders.

##### [SASHA GASPS]

#### SASHA

_[shocked]_ He does not have a lawyer?

#### JONNY

No, he was quite young, he doesn't have a will yet.

#### SASHA

He doesn't have a will, okay, well, who is his next of kin?

#### JONNY

Parents.

#### SASHA

His parents, hmm. Hmm! And they're conveniently out of the country, right, that's it, I'm tracking them down.

##### [LAUGHTER]

In fact, housekeeper will know. Back to -- back to Nellie.

#### JONNY

Sure.

#### HOUSEKEEPER

Yeah, w-what can I do for you?

#### GABRIELLE

Alright, so you mentioned that, Mr. Mariner's parents are out of the town -- out of town? As it were.

#### HOUSEKEEPER

Yes, I think they're in Milan, at the moment.

#### GABRIELLE

Okay, I see, and how long have they been there?

#### HOUSEKEEPER

I don't know. A few weeks, maybe?

#### GABRIELLE

Do they also live here, at this address?

#### HOUSEKEEPER

Not often.

#### GABRIELLE

What do you mean "not often"?

#### HOUSEKEEPER

I mean, they're not often in town.

#### GABRIELLE

_[overlapping]_ _[aggressive]_ It's a yes or a no question, do they live here or not?

#### HOUSEKEEPER

Sometimes.

##### [A FEW PEOPLE SNORT]

They're rich. Rich people live all over the place.

#### GABRIELLE

So this is one of their legal abodes.

#### HOUSEKEEPER

Yes.

#### GABRIELLE

Okay. And did Geoffrey Mariner have any money of his own?

#### HOUSEKEEPER

Uh, not really, just the allowance he was given. Which was a lot, like, he was -- he was -- I mean, he was also rich, but...

#### GABRIELLE

Okay.

#### JONNY

Back at the police station --

#### FRANK

Yes.

#### JONNY

Doctor -- Doctor Smilton is there. Over the corpse, looking very pleased with himself.

#### ALEX

Which corpse? We have two now.

#### JONNY

Uh, you guys -- yeah, you guys can come in. He'll take one look at the body that you guys have brought in --

#### DOCTOR SMILTON

Oh. Poisoning. _[sniffing]_ Something in our drink, I think. Hmm, yes, probably a murder. Anyway, this body, though, is *fascinating*.

#### CARL

Is it?

#### DOCTOR SMILTON

Yes, so obviously the cut marks on the chest: _[derisive]_ amateur stuff. Dreadfully done. I mean I'm not even sure how sharp the knife was, but! Strange thing is, the heart? Completely gone. But completely gone so neatly. As if it just stopped being there at all.

#### ARCHIE

Were there any, like, whistle-shaped holes in the middle of the chest?

#### DOCTOR SMILTON

What a fascinating question. Yes. What there was, where the heart should be, in the muscle around it, there was a burn mark in the shape of -- well, it was a cylindrical shape. I hadn't really thought what it might be, but now you say a whistle -- yes, it was just in the shape of an old whistle. And you can see here --

#### JONNY

He just wrenches up a bit of skin and points --

#### DOCTOR SMILTON

You see these little markings here? Numbers. I think numbers etched into -- what-whatever was within where the heart should be, burned into the flesh. _[manic]_ Isn't this fascinating?

#### ARCHIE

Can -- can we take a rubbing?

#### DOCTOR SMILTON

Oh, I already did! Here you go.

#### CARL

_[incredulous]_ Of the flesh?

#### ARCHIE

Yes, rub the corpse!

#### JONNY

He hands you a very, like, gooey piece of paper.

#### ARCHIE

Ah jeez!

#### JONNY

The numbers --

#### FRANK

Just a gooey kind of day.

#### JONNY

The numbers 9F-92251.

#### ALEX

With my expertise in engineering and, on the off-chance, library use -- although that's not a Dewey decimal, I don't believe -- does this ring any bells?

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ Well, there's no decimals.

#### JONNY

Well, I mean --

#### SASHA

_[overlapping]_ Or Deweys.

#### JONNY

_[continuing]_ -- might be a train designation?

#### ALEX

Cool.

#### JONNY

Given the -- given what else you've seen.

#### CHIEF

_[loud, gruff]_ Husselbeck, get in here!

#### JONNY

You can hear the chief shouting --

#### CARL

What have you done?

#### JONNY

_[continuing]_ -- all the way down...

#### ARCHIE

_[overlapping]_ What, me? No that's not my surname, I checked. That's your surname.

#### CARL

If this is something you've done, rookie...

#### ARCHIE

It can't have been something I've done. I'm still wearing most of the mistakes I've made today.

##### [LAUGHTER]

I could just hand them back if someone asks.

#### JONNY

The chief is sitting in his office, chewing a cigar. If a mountain could be really pissed off with how you're handling this case, that is the chief. His moustache is bristling, which is always, always a bad sign.

#### CHIEF

Husselbeck, what the hell are you doing with this case?

#### CARL

Pardon?

#### CHIEF

_[aggressive]_ I got City Hall breathing down my neck, wasting the judge's time on some trumped-up charge about cigarettes. Not only that, that corpse? Full of salt!

##### [LAUGHTER]

Why was it full of salt, Husselbeck? And I'm being told one of your detectives is trying to hassle the Mariners? Rich people, rich people who are very important in this town and are doing their own thing and one of your detectives is bothering them, when they're doing whatever important rich people things that they are doing. Does this sound like your case should have been handled like this, and why you covered in blood? Have you shot a perp?

#### CARL

I was investigating a murder.

#### CHIEF

Alright, I'll give you that one. _[pauses]_ I'm not happy with you, Husselbeck. Now explain what's going on with this case, this is a big case and I've got City Hall breathing down my neck!

#### LOWRI

Can we hear this?

#### JONNY

Yes.

#### ARCHIE

Walensky, I think you're in so much trouble.

#### EMMA

_[overlapping]_ Me?

#### JONNY

Like -- like when the chief is -- when the chief is expressing his opinion about the handling of a case, all the crockery and the mugs just in this -- it's just, they just vibrate ever so slightly.

#### CHIEF

What do you have to say for yourself, Husselbeck?

#### CARL

Geoffrey Mariner.

#### CHIEF

Mm-hmm.

#### CARL

As you know, sir, he was found dead, earlier today.

#### CHIEF

Yeah, I'm familiar with the case.

#### CARL

Yeah.

#### JONNY

He *throws* down the case file.

#### CARL

Well, I'm just reminding you of the importance of the victim, because there's just a lot of leads. To track down.

#### CHIEF

Okay, well, when's it gonna be solved? I need results, Husselbeck.

#### CARL

Well, that's why there's been such a mess. Rich man like that makes a lot of enemies, we've just got to shake things up to --

#### CHIEF

Really, 'cause according to this file he had no known enemies.

#### CARL

He's rich. Everyone's his enemy. Everyone wants to be rich in this town.

#### CHIEF

Hmmm. So how close are you to solving it?

#### CARL

Well, I'm looking at the coroner's report now, sir, and I would say... we're really --

#### CHIEF

You got 24 hours, Husselbeck!

#### CARL

Yes, that's what I expected.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### CHIEF

Twenty-four hours or you're off the case and you're off this force.

#### CARL

Okay, sir.

#### CHIEF

Now get out of my office!

#### CARL

_[quiet]_ Yeah.

#### JONNY

You can have your flashlights back now.

#### FRANK

Nice. It's just the standard meeting with the chief, yeah?

#### JONNY

Yeah. Yeah, very, like -- pretty... it went quite well?

#### CARL

Yeah, no, I feel like I've had this enough to know how to massage his ego a bit.

#### ALEX

Can I choose not to ever get my flashlights back so I don't have to have that conversation? _[laughs nervously]_ Can I just accept being incompetent at my job, please?

#### JONNY

So, on that gruff, shouty note, probably going to call the second episode to a close.

#### ALEX

_[whispering]_ Found a legitimate clue, guys! Legitimate clue.

#### LOWRI

I am very excited --

#### FRANK

_[overlapping]_ Yeah, but then she died.

#### LOWRI

Oh.

#### SASHA

I've got a legitimate clue. I've not been following it, but I might later!

#### LOWRI

I've got a clue that I... don't think is legitimate!

#### JONNY

_[overlapping]_ So --

#### SASHA

So *maybe* this is in the nought point one percent of crimes, but...

#### JONNY

The dramatic conclusion to this adventure of Duskhollow PD will be coming in, I believe, two weeks.

#### ALEX

That sounds about right to me.

#### JONNY

Okay, so we will see you then.

#### ALL

Bye!