---
layout:          post
title:           "RQG006 - Gazebos, Sleuthing and Hats"
date:            2015-07-08 11:00:00 -0400
episode_type:      episode
tags:            [Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan, Sasha Racket, Zolf Smith, Bertie MacGuffingham]
voiced:          [Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan, Sasha Racket, Zolf Smith, Bertie MacGuffingham]
categories:			"rqg"
podcasts: ["rqg"]
title_prefix:	"RQG"
prev_categories: ["rqg"]
prev_prefixes: ["RQG"]
prev_episode:   ['005']
prev_episode_num:		['005']
prev_episode_title:		["The Naked Arsonist"]
next_categories: ["rqg"]
next_prefixes: ["RQG"]
next_episode:   ['007']
next_episode_num:		['007']
next_episode_title:		["Squelch"]
episode_title:   'Gazebos, Sleuthing and Hats'
episode_number:  '006'
summary:         "Join Alex, James, Bryn, Ben and Lydia as they continue to play an extended Pathfinder Tabletop Roleplaying Campaign: Erasing the Line.<br/>In this episode the group get a new mission, impose on Sasha's newest friend and spend a lot of time underground."
content_flags:   ["Fire (inc. SFX)", "dead bodies", "description of injuries", "Mentions: surgery (amputation), burns, police, temporary loss of senses, jokes related to Zolf's move speed"]
acast_url:       https://play.acast.com/s/rustyquillgaming/rqg-6-gazebos-sleuthing-and-hats
formats: 
    # DOCX: 
    # PDF: 
    # Google Doc: 
official:        true
wiki_url:        https://rqg.fandom.com/wiki/RQG_6_-_Gazebos,_Sleuthing_and_Hats
---

##### [Show Theme - Intro] 

#### ALEX

Hello and welcome to episode 6 of the Rusty Quill Gaming podcast! I'm your host and GM Alex Newall, and as always I have with me:

#### JAMES

James Ross. 

#### BRYN

Bryn Monroe. 

#### BEN

Ben Meredith. 

#### LYDIA

Lydia Nicholas.

#### ALEX

And we're going to do some gaming! Going round the table quickly, reminding everyone who we are, what our characters do, what their thing is. Starting with -- Lydia. 

#### LYDIA

I'm Sasha Racket. I'm an antiques appraiser by trade. More of a "stab first, ask questions later." No, don't ask questions, _(mumbling)_ then you might need to make eye contact.

##### [UPROAR OF LAUGHTER]

That's me. 

#### BEN

I'm Zolf Smith, a one-legged dwarven cleric, an ex-pirate and now mercenary "captain," but I was doing bunny-ear quotes to that. 

#### BRYN

My character is Hamid, the Egyptian halfling sorcerer. 

#### JAMES

I am Sir Bertrand "Bertie" MacGuffingham, who wears armour as if he was going clubbing... 

##### [SNICKERS]

...and likes hitting things. 

#### ALEX

Although your armour has been a bit scuffed!

#### JAMES

It has been scuffed. I am outraged by this. 

#### ALEX

Outraged by the scuffing! 

#### JAMES

Both in and out of character. I'm quite cross. 

#### LYDIA

Do the falcon's eyes still glow? 

#### JAMES

It now looks as if it's winking at you sardonically.

##### [MORE LAUGHTER]

Permanently. 

#### ALEX

So, uh... 

#### BEN

You can use it as your wingman. 

#### EVERYONE

*Ayeeee.* 

#### LYDIA

Get out. Get out.

#### BRYN

I want to open a pub called the Winking Falcon.

##### [MORE SNICKERING]

I like that. 

#### ALEX

So, in case you can't remember, so last week we basically -- you did a big old rescue from the fire at Lord Edison's house. He'd revealed the Simulacrum. It had been blown up or stolen or something, by a few -- people -- who you proceeded to keep at bay and then they ran off. Sasha chased them, there was a cave-in. So you didn't manage to catch hold of them. 

#### LYDIA

_(comically furious)_ Why I oughta... 

#### ALEX

I know. 

#### LYDIA

Yeah. 

#### ALEX

But, you guys got out. You rescued all three of the diplomats and Colgate and Byron, however Edison was blown to smithereens, as was the majority of the audience. You had gone off, found Sasha --

#### LYDIA

Ah yes, you went off to rescue me, whilst I rescued myself. 

#### ALEX

Oh, they didn't *succeed!*

##### [LAUGHTER]

They didn't succeed in rescuing you -- no, no. 

#### BEN

You were too busy having a... 

#### BRYN

"Rescue"? We just wanted to find you so we could reconvene and discuss the situation. 

#### LYDIA

I'm an anti-rescuing character. 

#### ALEX

So, anyway. Literally the last thing that's happened, is all of you have reconvened back in the garden of Edison's house. Haringay was there, he was asking where you all were, and you all turned up. So, speak of the devil, you have all just been reconvened at Edison's house.

##### [SFX: DISTANT FIRE NOISES FADE IN]

#### HAMID

Well! What now? 

#### JAMES

I'm going to look around and survey the immediate scene. 

#### ALEX

Ah ha. So, in the garden there's lots of servants running backwards and forwards. They're carrying pails to try and stop it spreading through... 

#### BRYN

The house is still on fire. 

#### ALEX

Oh the house is, the house is *ablaze.* It's spread from the large music room -- has clearly spread throughout the rest of the building. There doesn't appear to be anyone in there. You see a few of Haringay's men are pulling out what are the few remaining survivors that were in the music room you couldn't get to, sort of in the wine cellar, things like that. They're pulling them out through the cellar door.

However, as they pull out the last one there's a big _(makes crashing noise)_ and the lintel collapses. It seems like everyone who could get out really is, and there's no one in the upper windows or anything like that, but it's *rapidly* engulfing what's left of the house. Looking sort of down the side you can just see amongst the smoke what looks like a fire engine has pulled up, with a mechanical pump and that kind of thing. And they're starting to try and douse it but it's very clear that all of the efforts right now are to stop it spreading to the buildings on either side. 

This -- Edison's house is gone. Like, it's consumed the first three floors and is powering towards the fourth, and the roof is starting to cave in as it is. Haringay is stood, sort of surveying all of the rest of the people. He's occasionally giving the terse command. Mostly he seems to just be a still point for other people to kind of focus around. He's nearby you guys currently.

#### BEN

I shall walk up to Haringay.

#### ZOLF

Sergeant, anything else we can do? 

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

Well, give me a second, Zolf. So, who *is* left?

#### ALEX (SOMEONE ELSE)

Well there's you, sir.

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

Well, I know, but I mean who else?

#### ALEX (SOMEONE ELSE)

Pretty certain you're in charge, sir.

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

Right, er... carry on. Zolf, you and your band, with me -- quick.

#### ALEX

He, er, sort of gestures over and basically walks down the path towards what looks like an ornate shed or gazebo, something similar. 

#### BEN

Cool, so I'm gonna be like, "Guys over here." And stomp off. 

#### LYDIA

We follow awkwardly, trying to walk slowly enough.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### BEN

Yeah. 

#### JAMES

It's like going shopping with my mum.

#### ALEX

With your one-legged dwarven mother. 

#### JAMES

My mum would travel at about the same speed Zolf does, when going shopping. 

#### ALEX

That's a *very* specific clarification. 

#### JAMES

I thought, well it's not observational humour if other people don't share the frame of reference, and now I've shared that frame of reference, everyone can enjoy it.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

So... 

#### JAMES

I love my mum very much, in case anyone's wondering.

##### [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

Carry on.

#### ALEX

So, you join under the gazebo and basically Haringay is striding perfectly confidently until he gets to the gazebo. Once once he's sort of rounded the corner and he's slightly out of sight of everyone:

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

_(low, urgent)_ Zolf, I've, um -- alright, I'm going to need your help, specifically all the rest of you. You guys have proven yourself capable. Um, that thing, that -- whatever the thing was.

#### HAMID

Simulacrum? 

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

Yeah, that. I can't have that in my city. I can't have that loose in my city, and currently I only can hope that it's been destroyed. Erm. I...

#### SASHA

It hasn't. I-I saw them take it. 

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

Right. So, how did they do it? I mean, I wasn't in there. All I know is that it was there and then it --

#### ZOLF

Sergeant, first of all we're going to have to discuss payment. 

##### [BEAT]

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

Fair. Fair. Well I believe the original agreed sum was a little more than five gold. To be honest I'm going to be giving you some danger money on top of that, which will bring it much closer to the 50. Can I finish finding out what happened to the Sim...?

#### HAMID

Simulacrum. 

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

_(simultaneously)_ The *thing.*

##### [HAMID SIGHS QUIETLY]

#### SASHA

Well, when I say I saw them taking it -- I just saw them, and then there were *tunnels,* and there's a bunch of cellars. 

#### HAMID

They seem to have laid explosive chargers under the stage. I mean there was no sign of pieces of the machine anywhere in the music room, so it must have dropped through the hole. 

#### SASHA

Yeah, and then they went down a tunnel and I followed them, and I went through about like -- there were like, cellar and then another, you know the cellar, _(stumbling)_ and then another cellar, you know? 

#### HAMID

They tunnelled. They tunnelled under several houses.

#### SASHA

*Yes!* and then, and then I was getting there -- honest I was trying -- and then bang! You know? And then that was -- and they'd gone, yeah, it was like that.

#### HAMID

Well, we can try and pick up the trail again. We took some down inside. Did any of them -- are any of them still alive? There might be survivors?

#### ALEX

He sort of gestures back to the house, which is slowly caving in on itself.

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

I'll be able to tell you in a week once we've gone through what's left under the rubble.

I'm going to be honest, I can't spare any men on this chase right now. I could do with you guys looking into this.

#### HAMID

Well, we're mercenaries, so if that's the job we're paid for, we'll do it. 

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

Let's put it this way, you guys know how much that thing was worth. I can certainly make sure that the pay for recovering it, or at the very least finding out what happened to it, should substantially reflect the value of the thing that you're looking for.

#### ZOLF

So, when will we receive the payment? 

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

Well, here's your 50 now.

#### ALEX

He basically reaches behind him and plucks out from what is clearly like his own like commissioner's thing. He just plucks it, takes out a few gold, puts them in his pocket and then hands over the pouch to Zolf.

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

There's the 50 agreed. _(draws breath)_ I don't know what I can muster for the payment until frankly I've had a bit more time. I don't know if you are aware there's a house burning down about 30 feet away?

#### HAMID

I think the sergeant's word will be good enough.

#### ZOLF

Mhm.

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

Have I ever stopped you before? Basically I want to know what happened to it.

#### ZOLF

Right. 

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

If you can bring the thing back, bring it back. If you can bring me the guys that -- *did* this, even better. Don't kill them if you can help it.

#### ALEX

He quietly looks around and looks back.

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

I don't think anyone'll cry if they didn't make it. I'm going to be frank: same for the machine. I don't like it. I don't want it in this city. *But,* it's not my place to call policy. So, if you find it, bring it back. If it's destroyed, prove to me it's destroyed, that's fine too.

#### ZOLF

Alright. Well, we're on it, then.

I guess -- Sasha, where did we lose the trail? 

#### SASHA

Well, there's a, like you know, shops where they sell, like, dresses, but like, not, but for men you know? So it's round the corner. 

#### ZOLF

A tailor? 

#### SASHA

Yes. And, so I came up through the you know, the basement? 

#### ZOLF

Yeah. 

#### SASHA

And that was the last place, before you know, it exploded. 

#### ZOLF

Right, I guess. 

#### ALEX

There's a call from further up the garden and Haringay just goes --

#### ALEX (HARINGAY)

Look, I'm going to have to leave this with you guys. Zolf, you know you can find me at the station.

#### ZOLF

Yep, we'll get the job done. 

#### HAMID

Let -- I mean, let's just see if any of them came out there. We're dragging bodies out of the music room. Maybe someone who was involved was dragged out as well and no one's realised yet?

#### SASHA

Like the one you dropped a piano on? 

#### HAMID

Yeah. 

#### ZOLF

I don't think *he* made it.

##### [A FEW SNORTS]

#### SASHA

He's fairly recognisable though, innit? 

#### HAMID

Well, just if any of them are still alive, that's a place to start questioning --

#### ALEX

Haringay has already sort of headed off into the garden, to carry on coordinating what's left of the sort of salvage approach I suppose. 

#### HAMID

I mean other than that, yeah, I guess we go back to the cellars and start investigating there, but I don't know about the rest of you but it's been a *really long day.* And I'm quite tired. 

#### ZOLF

_(sighing)_ The trail will go cold though. We need to get on there. 

#### HAMID

We can't wait till tomorrow morning? It's already quite late in the day. 

#### BEN

...What, what --

#### JAMES

What time *is it?* 

#### LYDIA

Yeah!

#### ALEX

So, all things considered it is coming on to late afternoon. Your interview for Bertie was coming towards lunchtime so you're looking at around a, 6:00pm, something like that. I can understand why it'd feel like a long day, especially for Hamid of all people. 

#### BRYN

I still think it's the day before, because I was in a casino all night.

##### [UPROAR OF LAUGHTER]

You may remember from episode 1.

#### ALEX

But yeah, so it's coming on towards evening, but it's still summer, so the sun's still up. 

#### HAMID

I mean, I was hit with a couple of grenades and I know that... 

#### BERTIE

Well, my armour is *slightly dirty.* So... you know. 

#### ALEX

As he says that one of the eyes just *pwoosh* -- explodes out. 

#### BERTIE

Look, he's sad!

#### HAMID

But weren't you also injured in the fight previously, as well? 

#### BERTIE

Oh, a mere scrape. I shall, I shall, I shall -- I'll walk it off. That'll be fine. 

#### HAMID

I'm just not feeling so great. 

#### ZOLF

Maybe we should just do some recon? If we leave it, we might lose the trail and then we'll never get paid. 

#### SASHA

Let's, let's... 

#### HAMID

_(a bit flat, dejected)_ Okay. 

#### SASHA

His plan was good but someone who ain't me should ask the questions. 

#### ZOLF

Hamid? 

#### HAMID

Well, let's just quickly look through. Are there any of the attack team amongst the, amongst the survivors?

#### ALEX

Okay, so presumably you're heading back up closer towards the house where they're sort of laying bodies and so on.

#### BRYN

Yeah. 

#### JAMES

If in the process of this, if there is some possibility that I might healed for the small amount of damage that I've received rather down to 9 hit points in 13, I wouldn't say no!

#### BRYN

I'm down to *3* hit points from 7. 

#### JAMES

Cry me a river. Cry me a tiny, tiny puddle.

#### BEN

Heh heh. Luckily, I am... _(louder)_ oh, no. What spells have I used? 

#### ALEX

Remember you haven't, you haven't... 

#### BEN

No, what *spells* have I used? 

#### ALEX

Off the top of my head, you used Summon Monster, that one's already been burned. 

#### BEN

Yeah. 

#### ALEX

And you'd already used this, obviously. That's already been burned. 

#### BEN

Yeah. 

#### ALEX

You also used one other. Just to... 

#### BEN

That's three. 

#### ALEX

Just to spell that out again what he does -- is the Cleric's ability is that they can prepare spells like other magic users, but they can then trade those spells instead for extra healing, which is why they're like the core support character.

#### BRYN

Yeah. I mean one of the reasons that I am suggesting, you know, leaving the start of the investigation tomorrow, is that I've used 3 of my 4 first level spells for the day. 

#### BEN

Ah, okay.

#### ZOLF

_(draws breath)_ Alright you two, just hold still for a bit.

#### BEN

And I will use my two remaining daily spells and convert them into Cure Light Wounds, for these guys. 

#### ALEX

Okay, so roll the Heals. 

#### BEN

To just describe how my Cure Light Wounds looks again. It's like I did with the Stabilise, I've got a small, what are they called? Waterskin, of saltwater which I pour on the wound while muttering some sort of... catechisms? 

#### ALEX

Ooh, good word! 

#### BEN

It is a catechism, isn't it? Like a little religious mantra? 

#### JAMES

It sounds surprisingly like a rude seizure.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### BEN

Aaah, oooh, they might do now... 

#### JAMES

Just a bit of flavour.

#### BEN

It's a dirty sea-based limerick.

##### [MORE LAUGHTER]

#### LYDIA

Poseidon *loves* them.

#### JAMES

"There was a man from Nantucket," yeah.

#### ALEX

Cure Light Wounds, channelling positive energy cures one D8 points of damage plus one per caster level to a minimum of one.

#### BEN

Cool. 

#### ALEX

And obviously if you're healing undead things, it's actually hurting them because they're powered by that energy.

#### BEN

So, for James, it is...

##### [DICE ROLLS]

_(cheerful)_ Eight hit points back. 

#### JAMES

Lovely, I'm back up to 13. 

#### BEN

Yeah. Bryn.

##### [DICE ROLLS]

*Five* hit points back. 

#### BRYN

_(flat and drawn out)_ Yay, that's all of them.

##### [UPROAR OF LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

Okay. So... 

#### BEN

_(cheering)_ Clerics!

#### JAMES

Is my armour in any way affected, or do I still look like I've been a bit bashed up? 

#### ALEX

Sooty. There is... 

#### HAMID

Oh, I can fix that for you.

#### BRYN

I cast Prestidigitation! It can affect other people as well. 

#### ALEX

Prestidigitation can, but its effects are temporary, depending on what effects of these -- the *cleaning* is permanent. So yeah, the first thing he does is -- actually, describe how you cast Prestidigitation.

#### BRYN

Um... Oh, I haven't really thought about that. I... 

#### JAMES

Wax on, wax off?

#### BEN

Another dirty limerick?

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### BRYN

No, that...

#### BEN

The magic in this world is powered purely by dirty limericks.

#### BRYN

Definitely not a dirty limerick. 

#### JAMES

It would have to be a *clean* limerick if you're going to be cleaning... 

#### BEN

Aaaah. 

#### BRYN

I normally just sort of, you know, when it's myself I just, I kind of like just wave my hands. But I, I, yeah -- I mean it's all, it's basically all about sleight of hand. So I probably just -- I'll probably just walk up to you, pull a handkerchief out of my sleeve, which *definitely* wasn't there a second before, and just sort of wave it at you gently?

##### [ALEX SNICKERS]

I, I'm not putting any like elbow grease into this and yet the, the mere brush of my handkerchief seems to create a sparkle on your...

#### BEN

That is the most *effete* casting effect. 

#### BRYN

Yes.

##### [ALEX STARTS CACKLING IN HONEST]

#### JAMES

Yeah. So my armour is very faded but... 

#### ALEX

Your armour is... 

#### BRYN

Effete is a good word. 

#### ALEX

Your armour is now gleaming. 

#### JAMES

Yep. 

#### ALEX

There is a light dent on one of your shoulder... pads, I suppose you'd call it. 

#### BRYN(?)

Pauldron is the technical term, isn't it? 

#### ALEX

Pauldron! Yeah, thank you. And your, one of the eyes from the eagle have been blown out. 

#### JAMES

Okay. 

#### ALEX

But... 

#### JAMES

Falcon. 

#### ALEX

Falcon? Goodness me, I'm, I'm terrible. 

#### JAMES

It's alright. 

#### ALEX

I'm terrible. But, yeah, so your *pauldron's* dented, and your *falcon* is winking.

#### JAMES

Falcon is winking. Okay. 

#### BEN

Surveying Sir Bertie in his new gleaming state.

#### ZOLF(?)

Might want to get an eye patch for that, actually. Make you look a bit more intimidating.

#### ALEX

So, drawing near to the, back to where they've been laying out bodies and so on. You see that there are -- a few of the guests are actually alright. Definitely there's some concussions going around. One person appears to be looking forward to an amputation of their arm. 

#### BEN

Are they *looking forward* to it?

##### [UPROAR OF LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

Aaah... 

#### BEN

"Oh boy, oh boy!"

#### ALEX

I mean... 

#### BRYN

"Finally I can get a peg leg too!"

#### ALEX

I may have been a bit ironic there but, yeah, their hand's been a bit mangled by some masonry. There's some medics -- looks like some police medics -- are running around sorting people. There's a few bodies that have basically already been covered by jackets and similar... 

#### BRYN

I mean the issue for us is, are all these people clearly guests -- you know from their dress -- are they all guests of the party or are any of them...

#### ALEX

Certainly all of the ones that... 

#### BRYN

They were disguised waiters or something, weren't they? 

#### ALEX

So, most of the people who were sort of still kicking, as it were, are clearly like the, the cream of London society. Of the bodies, there are 'bout six who are laid out, what look like a few more that just haven't been you know, examined yet and given at least a covering...

#### BRYN

Pronounced? 

#### ALEX

Yeah, pronounced, that's the phrase. Of the ones that are pronounced you see that at least... one of them, maybe two of them may have been wearing white trousers similar to what the servants were wearing? It's hard to tell. Everything's soot-blackened and things like that. 

#### JAMES

I realise it's Bertie that is going to be attempting this Perception check.

##### [SNICKERS]

But could I see if I, if I recognise any of the bodies from any of the people that I was fighting earlier? 

#### ALEX

Yeah, go for it. Roll me a Perception check. 

##### [DICE ROLLS]

#### BRYN

The most gruesome and most common thing to do in a mercenary's life? Search the bodies. 

#### JAMES

Fifteen minus 1 is 14. 

#### ALEX

Down to 14. You -- from this distance -- you just discern more or less what I've just told you. Is that one of at least, I'd say one of two of them may very well be the guy that you dropped a piano on. But from this distance he's covered, you can't really tell.

#### JAMES

You'll have to prod him with a stick and see if any keys fall out, is that? 

#### LYDIA

Sorry, so I was going to plan to sneak up there and rifle through the pockets without anyone noticing -- the dead ones.

#### BRYN

It's in -- we're the official investigating team -- we don't need to do it. 

#### LYDIA

Aw, but that's all I'm good at!

##### [A FEW CHUCKLES]

Don't I need to sneak a bit?

#### BEN

People look at you like, *I'm practising.*

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### LYDIA

Yeah, okay. 

#### JAMES

Well let's go and, let's go and search through the bodies and have a look at closer quarters then. 

#### LYDIA

I walk like someone with too many limbs, slightly... slightly unused to the idea of just brazenly going up and taking a thing. 

#### BEN

Like, is someone going to arrest me or...? 

#### LYDIA

What do I do with my hands?!

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### BRYN

What if I had a mug? What if I had two mugs?! 

#### LYDIA

But I'd hold my clothes sort of awkwardly and like, where do my hands go?

#### ALEX

Okay. 

#### LYDIA

Stare at the police.

##### [UPROAR OF LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

You're the shiftiest official person I've *ever* heard of.

#### LYDIA

Just stare at them.

#### BEN

Like you're filling in a form and handing it in -- _(menacing)_ "you didn't see *nothin',* right?"

#### ALEX

"But this is a witness form! I don't understand!"

##### [MORE LAUGHTER]

So, you head up to the body -- bodies, I should say. There's six of them. Presumably you are pulling the covers from the two that looked like... 

#### BRYN

Yeah. I mean I might just check the others just to confirm that they are... 

#### ALEX

Yeah. 

#### BRYN

...they look like guests or not. 

#### ALEX

Sure. Working from right to left then. Amongst the four who just are guests -- yeah, it's -- they seem certainly to be. One of them, their eyes are very badly burned. Another one appears to be sort of crushed in the torso. A couple of others have burns and things like that, and one like... 

#### BRYN

Hamid does *not* look well. 

#### ALEX

Yeah, they -- it's a bit grisly. 

#### LYDIA

Of the guests... 

#### ALEX

Mm hmm. 

#### LYDIA

_(slowly)_ ...how many have nice jewellery? 

#### ALEX

Upon those? 

#### LYDIA

Yeeees. 

#### ALEX

One of them appears to be a woman with a turtle brooch. 

#### LYDIA

_(unimpressed)_ Mmm. 

#### ALEX

And then a couple of the others have rings on them, quite minor. There's no one *particularly* flashy.

#### LYDIA

Can I, can I check them for magic devices? Just in case there's anything useful. 

#### ALEX

Do you have Detect Magic? 

#### LYDIA

I have -- ah no, it's Magic Devices, not... 

#### ALEX

You have Use Magic Device, yeah?

#### LYDIA

Yeah. 

#### ALEX

So you could have -- off the top of my head -- you could appraise the things that they own, to see if they are worth anything... 

#### LYDIA

_(laughing)_ I'm very good at appraising. 

#### ALEX

But, when it comes to actually like telling if it's magical, that's not actually appraise. Like you may be able to -- obviously it's glowing and it says, _(ominous hiss)_ "Take me"...

##### [LAUGHTER]

Then yeah, it's probably magical but you wouldn't know what it does, you wouldn't know how to use it, things like that. You'd have to figure it out. 

#### LYDIA

Sorry, where is detect magic on...? 

#### BRYN

It's not a skill, it's a spell. 

#### LYDIA

Ohhhh. Then, no. 

#### ALEX

In this world -- Hamid would already know this -- the way that magic that's written looks, is it looks like letters that are changing shape and rewriting themselves in real time. So for anyone who's not trained in it, it looks like it's saying one thing and then half a second later it's saying something else. And it's like a magic eye picture. Is that anyone who has Detect Magic is actually just learning to kind of see *past* the words, and that's how they sort of read it.

So I'm afraid you wouldn't be able to tell if they've got magic on them. 

#### LYDIA

Well I'm not going to just have rings, they're just -- they get in the way.

##### [SNICKERS] 

No point. 

#### ALEX

Heading across to the remaining two bodies. You see one of them appears to be a servant who was serving canapes. Again, they also seem to have been crushed by something. And then you flip over the last one, and they're certainly wearing the clothing of the people who were in the music room. But their face is in such a state it's kind of hard to tell. 

#### BRYN

Yeah, um. Yeah, rifle through their pockets. Look for anything. Do they have weapons? I mean, they had grenades on them. 

#### ALEX

_(enthusiastic)_ Mhm, mhm!. 

#### BRYN

A few probably still had some. 

#### ALEX

So he has upon him what's left of the bandolier, so there's two of those sort of fire flasks in there. There's also a -- he's wearing what looks like a leather cuirass under the shirt. He's got a sort of shoulder holster holding a short sword that he could have hidden under a large jacket. Also tinder twigs -- effectively matches. Yeah, it's... 

#### LYDIA

Some kind of, like, pseudo-medieval dating service?

##### [UPROAR OF LAUGHTER]

You break it and it shows you the hot men nearby.

#### BEN

As a magical inventor, I'm definitely going to do that. 

#### ALEX

You also find a thunderstone, and... 

#### JAMES

What is a thunderstone?

#### ALEX

I will... 

#### BEN

Is it like a thundercat?

#### ALEX

A thunderstone -- you can throw this stone as a ranged attack, with a range increment of 20 feet -- and when it strikes a hard surface, or is hit hard in your hand, it creates a deafening bang that's a Sonic Attack. Each creature in 10 foot must make a DC15 fortitude save or be Deafened for one hour. 

#### BEN

Wow! 

#### ALEX

A Deafened creature, in addition to the obvious effects, takes a minus 4 penalty on Initiative, has a 20% chance to miscast and lose any spell with a verbal component that it tries to cast. And you don't need to hit a specific target, you can just aim at a 5 foot square. So the AC of the 5 foot square is only 5.

#### LYDIA

Does it also affect the person that throws it? 

#### ALEX

Anyone. 

#### BRYN

It'll depend how far away. 

#### ALEX

Each creature within a 10 foot radius. 

#### LYDIA

Yeah, yeah, but --

#### ALEX

So if -- let's say that you dropped it... 

#### LYDIA

Like your Fireball does, you know, you don't tend to burn yourself, right? 

#### ALEX

No, a Fireball would hurt everyone that he aims it at. 

#### LYDIA

Oh, so even if... 

#### BRYN

If I aim a Fireball at my own feet... 

#### LYDIA

Right, then... 

#### BRYN

_(matter-of-fact)_ ...I would not do that.

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

In the rules, how it spells it out differently is any time it says 'enemies' it means it wouldn't affect your friends. If it says 'creatures' it means anything -- friend or foe -- it will affect them. So if you're in 10 foot of this thing and it goes off, you're deaf for -- what was it -- an hour? 

#### BRYN

Well, unless you make your save. 

#### ALEX

Yeah, unless you make your Fortitude save. And in fairness the Fortitude save isn't huge, but it's really good... 

#### BRYN

It's still tough for a first level character. 

#### ALEX

It's, it -- for a first level character it's pretty tough -- it'd be great if there's a large group of people, because the chances are you're going to deafen and disorientate a good chunk of them. 

#### BEN

So I'm just thinking about the Fortitude save on the Deafening, it's just your eardrums *flexing.*

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### LYDIA

So who is doing... 

#### JAMES

I've got brave ears! 

#### LYDIA

Who is finding this stuff in there? Is it Hamid that's doing the searching? 

#### ALEX

You guys tell me. 

#### LYDIA

Because you said that you would. 

#### BEN

I, well I'm standing back a bit. 

#### BRYN

I declared it. Yeah, I'm probably kind of finding what's there and passing it on so we can all work out what it is...

#### ALEX

Well, all of this stuff was very obviously in parts, to be clear about that. 

#### BRYN

Yeah. So, so leather cuirass, had a shortsword. 

#### ALEX

There was, and... 

#### BRYN

Is there any distinguishing marks? Do you want me to make an actual Perception check, to --? 

#### ALEX

If you give me a Perception check I'll certainly start discussing things, if they've got hidden pockets and things. 

##### [DICE ROLLS]

#### BRYN

Good roll, Bryn. 

#### BEN

Womp womp. 

#### ALEX

What did you roll? 

#### BRYN

Three plus 6 is 9. 

#### ALEX

You find what you can. 

#### BRYN

Yeah. 

#### LYDIA

Can I...? 

##### [DICE ROLLS]

#### ALEX

Yeah, sure. 

#### LYDIA

Ah, 7 plus 6, so 13. 

#### ALEX

Thirteen, what was it yours? 

#### BRYN

Nine.

#### ALEX

Anyone else want to take a turn? But I mean ultimately... 

#### BERTIE

Stand aside, everyone! Something needs *noticing!*

##### [CACKLES]

#### ALEX

Do you know what? Roll it but...

##### [DICE ROLLS] 

#### JAMES

Eleven, minus 1 is 10.

##### [MORE CACKLING]

#### BERTIE

He looks like he's been in the wars!(?)

#### ALEX

I'm going to be honest, right. At this point Zolf, you've seen Hamid search, Sasha going, "I think I know what I'm doing." He's correct doing, "Ahh, a person!" 

#### BRYN

Are there any distinguishing marks of any kind on the cuirass or the shortsword? 

#### ALEX

There are no distinguishing marks. You see that the shortsword has been soot-blackened to remove its glean, things like that. Sasha, do you have Knowledge: Local? 

#### LYDIA

Yes. 

#### ALEX

Give me a Knowledge: Local roll. 

##### [DICE ROLLS]

#### LYDIA

_(quiet)_ Oh, God. _(louder)_ So that's 7 and plus 7, 14. 

#### ALEX

14, yeah? 

#### LYDIA

Is that enough? 

#### ALEX

That's actually enough for this bit. 

#### LYDIA

_(laughing)_ Right.

#### ALEX

Okay. 

#### LYDIA

I'll do better next time, if that expression means anything.

##### [SNICKERS]

#### ALEX

So, the fact that he's soot-blackened his sword, also the nature of gear that he's having, you would place a middling bet that he probably has come from Other London. 

#### LYDIA

Mmm. 

#### ALEX

Just that kind of, that way of operating, you know, getting rid of the gleam of your clothes. 

#### LYDIA

Mm hmm. 

#### ALEX

I mean, concealed weapons *screams* Other London. 

#### LYDIA

Not that much gleams down there. 

#### ALEX

Yeah. 

#### BRYN

I will cast Detect Magic to see if he has anything magical on him. I don't know if the alchemical weapons would show up on that, but --? 

#### ALEX

These would. The thunderstone I believe would, but only the thunderstone. How do you cast it? _(mischievous)_ You've not cast it yet, so I want to know what it looks like.

#### BRYN

It's actually, it's the opposite of most of my spells. I mean it's in no way flashy or interesting. I actually had to step back, and calm myself down, and close my eyes. 

#### ALEX

_(fascinated)_ Oh. 

#### BRYN

It's almost meditative... 

#### ALEX

Okay. 

#### BRYN

...briefly. And then I kind of resume and it's, and basically it starts glowing to me, it's magical. 

#### ALEX

Ah, okay. And so, we'll leave that for a moment. 

#### BRYN

Yeah. 

#### BERTIE

Hamid, wake up, Hamid.

##### [SNICKERS]

Wake up. Don't fall asleep, Hamid. Wake up Hamid. 

#### HAMID

You see, I'm, I'm --

#### BERTIE

Wake up. Wake up Hamid. Wake up.

#### HAMID

_(trying to get in a word edgewise)_ I'm finding out if he has anything magical, Bertie. 

#### BERTIE

Oh.

##### [MORE SNICKERS]

#### HAMID

It's a *spell.*

#### BERTIE

Cool.

#### ALEX

You quickly... 

#### JAMES

I -- just to give you a sense of what Bertie is doing at this point. He's now flexing his armour in the sun, looking flash.

##### [A FEW SNORTS]

I just wanted to make -- let everyone know what he's doing, because... 

#### ALEX

Okay. 

#### JAMES

...he thinks that that's quite important. Carry on.

#### ALEX

So, you find the only magical item upon that person was the thunderstone. 

#### BRYN

-- Is the thunderstone, sure. 

#### ALEX

Obviously it has a bit of a range to it rather than it just being you pick a person? 

#### BRYN

Yes. 

#### ALEX

The turtle brooch appears to be magical in some way. And, let's assume that you are casting your eyes around. 

#### BRYN

Yeah. 

#### ALEX

So, looking at the guests you see there's a decent amount of magical items. 

#### BRYN

I mean these are important rich people. They're likely to have some? 

#### ALEX

They -- yeah, they would. 

#### BRYN

I mean I'm not going to loot a magical turtle brooch from around a body, and I'm probably not going to bother mentioning that it's magical. I don't know why I would. 

#### ALEX

That's fair. But yeah, looking around there's certainly a decent amount of magic. There's some -- actually *quite potent* magical items on some of the, the wealthy. Not surprisingly, the wealthiest-looking ones also seem to be the least hurt by the situation.

#### BRYN

Anything that strikes me as unusual? Probably not?

#### ALEX

Not really, yeah. 

#### SASHA

_(low)_ Why are you picking up a pebble? That's just a stone. Why...

#### HAMID

It's an... 

#### SASHA

Cos we were looking for clues. 

#### HAMID

It's a... 

#### SASHA

Why the stone? 

#### HAMID

It's actually a... 

#### SASHA

Is the stone a clue? 

#### HAMID

It's actually called a thunderstone. 

#### SASHA

Uh-huh. 

#### HAMID

It's a weapon. 

#### SASHA

Right. 

#### HAMID

If you throw it at something it makes a very loud noise and it deafens people nearby. 

#### BERTIE

Loud noises, you say?

#### ALEX

Bertie, give me a Perception check. 

##### [DICE ROLLS]

#### JAMES

Twelve minus 1 is 11. 

#### ALEX

Erm...

#### JAMES

I've noticed I'm outside!

##### [SNICKERS]

#### ALEX

You've also noticed: two darkly dressed gnomes are sort of standing off aside from the garden. They're holding briefcases. They, they just seem to be surveying everything. 

#### BEN

Uh oh -- lawyers. 

##### [BEAT]

#### JAMES

*Ambulance chasers!* 

#### LYDIA

I move behind Bertie, so he is between me and the gnomes. 

#### ALEX

They just share a little curt nod with Bertie, look at the rest of you, give a polite little nod, and then wander off down the garden to where the gazebo was. 

#### ZOLF

So Hamid, you might want to keep hold of that stuff. You seem to know what it is. 

#### HAMID

Yeah. Like I said, it's possible we might be able to track down a manufacturer or, or maybe where they were purchased? I mean if there was a whole team of them and they all had this much equipment, that would have been quite a large order I'd think. 

#### ZOLF

Oh actually, one thing.

#### BEN

Go up to the body of the guy that was being inspected and just flip him over, and check the back of his neck for any tattoos or anything like that. 

#### ALEX

Uh-huh. You... looking around the neck, you don't see anything? You do see a tattoo at the beginning of his shoulder though. 

#### BEN

Ah cool! Rip open his shirt. 

#### ALEX

And so, basically yeah, tearing up -- you find on his right bicep, quite a large tattoo. It appears to be quite unusual. You, Zolf, recognise it as a *brand* rather than a tattoo. It is the shape of -- it looks like a many-pointed irregular star surrounded by a circle or something. Sasha, I'll give you from the Knowledge: Local that you did earlier --

#### LYDIA

Yeah. 

#### ALEX

Certainly there have been groups that have been rumoured to do this kind of thing in Other London. I mean, there's rumours of most things in Other London. But nothing specific springs to mind. What I can say is you know that's not a mark of any of the major players. 

#### ZOLF

This mean anything to you? 

#### SASHA

Well some of the stuff like the, like muckin' up our swords and stuff, is something that -- I mean, *their* swords --

##### [A FEW SOFT SNICKERS FROM PLAYERS]

Is what some people -- like, I've heard, just not on the street but like in nice houses where people live, that people in Other London might do -- not that I'd know.

#### ZOLF

What about the brand? Is it a gang sign or something?

#### SASHA

I don't know it... 

#### ZOLF

Fair enough. 

#### SASHA

...specific. 

#### BRYN

Can I use Knowledge: Arcana to check if it has any Arcane significance?

#### ALEX

Sure. 

##### [DICE ROLLS]

#### BRYN

Three plus 7 -- 10! 

#### BEN

Changing the dice did not help you. 

#### BRYN

No!

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

It does not, it does not seem to have anything to...

#### LYDIA

The, the dice seem to know it's the end of a long day for us.

##### [LAUGHTER] 

#### BEN

A -- a conveyor belt of failed dice.

#### JAMES

Long shot, Knowledge: Nobility to see if it has any...

##### [SPUTTERS OF LAUGHTER]

#### ALEX

_(sighing)_ Alright! 

#### JAMES

At the very least eliminating it as a possibility.

##### [DICE ROLLS]

That is 6... plus 7 is 13. 

#### ALEX

No, the moderately-equipped seeming assassin-slash-thief does not... 

#### BRYN

With the branded --

#### BEN

That would be *amazing.*

#### ALEX

With the *branded arm* does not seem to be a...

#### JAMES

Fallen on *very* hard times.

##### [MORE LAUGHTER]

#### BEN

So I'm thinking... 

#### BRYN

Branded his family crest into his own shoulder.

#### JAMES

They were circus people, mostly! 

#### BEN

I'll have a rummage in my pack, bring out a notebook and just note down what the brand looks like, so that I've got a written record of it. 

#### ALEX

Sure. 

#### LYDIA

Alright, so. 

#### HAMID

I think we've learnt as much as we can here. Maybe we should head down to the cellars and see if there any other clues to find down there? 

#### ZOLF

Yeah, so to quickly, quickly sum up. So you reckon that he's probably come from Other London? 

#### SASHA

It's just, it's something that they definitely do down there. But then like, I don't know if in other cities they have -- like, they might do the similar sorts of things? 

#### ZOLF

Sure. 

#### SASHA

It's a gang thing. 

#### ZOLF

But given that we're in London, probably? 

#### SASHA

It's likely. 

#### ZOLF

Is any... 

#### BERTIE

Odds of Other Birmingham seem slim to none!

#### ZOLF

So we got that brand, probably quite a reasonably prescient(?) outfit given the hardware they've got. 

#### HAMID

I would think so. 

#### ZOLF

Yeah, so. Okay, let's yeah, let's go to the cellar and see what's, what's going on there. 

#### LYDIA

Right. So is, I lead them back to the tailor, I guess? 

#### ALEX

Sure. 

#### BEN

I think he was a milliner, actually. 

#### LYDIA

I do not know the difference. 

#### JAMES

A milliner is like a tailor, but for heads. 

#### LYDIA

Ah, cheers, Bertie. 

#### ALEX

Okay, so you're heading off towards the tailor and now seems like a good moment for a break actually, so if you all hang around here, we'll do a break and be back in a couple of minutes. 

------

##### [AD BREAK]

------

#### ALEX

And welcome back! So yeah, you're heading off to the tailor's I believe? 

#### SASHA

Yeah. Like, so it's round this corner and then there's a small man -- scared man -- and he's just, _(stammers for a while)_ there he is.

#### ZOLF

Sounds like a tailor in a crisis. 

#### SASHA

Yeah. 

#### ALEX

So yeah, you head basically out through the back garden rather than around the house. The thing's collapsing. It hasn't collapsed yet, it's clear that if there's anything still left standing the first thing that rescue crew's going to do is bring it down so it doesn't fall on anyone else.

So you head out from the garden just up along that side alley.

##### [FIRE SOUNDS FADE, REPLACED BY QUIET SOUNDS OF PEOPLE TALKING]

The crowd's mostly dispersed by this point. The fire crews have pushed everyone back. The fact that none of the guards are stopping you means that the fire crew just decide you're meant to be there and just don't interfere. So yeah, you head down those couple of side streets and you get to the tailor's shop.

You pointed him out -- he is actually -- he's on the street holding about 6 or 7 bolts of very posh cloth, a couple of which are just trailing in the dirt around him. And he's just faffing because he doesn't really know what to do with himself. His shop appears to be locked, with a little Closed sign... 

#### BRYN

What's the name on the shop? 

#### ALEX

Oh, Willikins and Brothers. 

#### BRYN

I cast... Charm Person. 

#### ALEX

Okay, one sec.

##### [BEAT]

Okay so, he's stood there fretting and he's holding these bolts going, "Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my."

#### BRYN

So, when I cast Charm Person I sort of, I adjust myself just to make sure I look immaculate as always. And I have a very, a *very faint* glow. And it's almost like there's suddenly a little heat haze around me?

#### ALEX

Like a, like a glamour? 

#### BRYN

Yeah. It's sort of, it's sort of like glamour. And I have to approach him and make eye contact. 

#### ALEX

Okay. 

#### BRYN

And I, and I, so I go,

#### HAMID

_(enthusiastic)_ Willikins! It's *so good* to see you again! 

#### ALEX

Okay, so he's, he's fretting. He goes... 

#### BRYN

He does get a Will save, I believe. 

#### ALEX

He does. So, if you bear with me. He sort of, he's fretting and he looks at you and he goes,

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

_(very rushed, panicked)_ Sorry I, I don't, I don't believe we've met. I'm -- can I help you? I mean, what --

#### HAMID

You don't recall? Oh never mind. Yes, we just wanted to chat to you for a little while! Why don't we go inside your shop where it will be more comfortable? _(soothing)_ There's no need to fret. 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

I'm not entirely sure...

#### ALEX

From the outside how many -- it looks like the guy's had a deceptively strong resistance to you. It's almost like someone who *professionally* is lovely and friendly to people so that they buy things, is going to be a little bit more resistant to it.

#### BRYN

Fair.

#### ALEX

But he's mostly just stood there fretting, holding them and then he sees Sasha and he goes,

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Oh, oh! You're alright, then! 

#### SASHA

Yeah, like so we went and we checked the house. It's all good, it's all good. The fire crew is *totally* sorted. 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Ah, right.

#### SASHA

Nice hats. 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

_(like an afterthought)_ -- Oh, thank you.

#### BERTIE

Those really are charming hats you've got there!

#### JAMES

Bertie starts laying it on thick with the charm, trying to praise the hats and blah blah blah.

#### ALEX

Roleplay it!

#### BERTIE

Well, you know, that is super. That one in particular -- that top hat -- that really is splendid. You know that is, it's like an *obsidian cylinder* -- really very, very fine craftsmanship. Well done you. 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Well, thank you sir. _(little laugh)_ Yes -- *yes,* I have to say this one particularly takes a long time to make. We actually use shellac, a very specific type of beetle. And you say the fire was...

#### SASHA

It's fine, like, good -- I mean it's bad, but they're doing, you know, the fire crew, they're there, it's fine. 

#### ZOLF

It's going out. 

#### SASHA

That's the word. 

#### ZOLF

It won't spread. 

#### SASHA

Yeah. 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

You know what, I, I, I'm looking round and I don't think it's, it's don't think it's going to be too much of a problem. If you'll excuse me I think I'm going to head inside, I'm trailing, I'm trailing.

#### SASHA

_(slowly)_ Could we, like... also go inside. And like, check. 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

The stock? Oh yes, of course, of course!

#### ZOLF

We're -- we're part of the investigation team about what happened at Lord Edison's place, and we need access to your cellar to continue our investigations. 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Oh!

#### BERTIE

Official business, my good man. I'm sure you understand? 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Oh, yes. _(stammering)_ Yes, yes! 

#### SASHA

Official. 

#### ALEX

He goes over to the door and sort of plucks out a tiny little dainty -- that lock's clearly not doing anything -- unlocks his shop door, comes in, sort of invites you in --

##### [SOUNDS OF PEOPLE FADE TO LOW HUM]

And comes over and plonks, plonks lots of the bolts of cloth onto the counter top. Starts mopping his brow.

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Anything I can do to help, obviously.

#### ZOLF

Open your cellar? 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

*Right,* yes. So, so you said you were with the police?

#### ALEX

He heads round to the back of his counter and lifts up the trapdoor. 

#### ZOLF

_(carefully)_ Yeah.

#### SASHA

...I mean it's not like we're police but we're like, um, mates... 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Right...? 

#### SASHA

...of the police. 

#### HAMID

We're an official investigation team. 

#### ZOLF

That, basically. 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Okay...?

#### BERTIE

Unencumbered by the dead hand of state control. 

#### HAMID

We don't need to explain the specifics to Mr Willikins here. 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Well, nonetheless, that's the... 

#### BEN

If you need confirmation speak to Sergeant Haringay. 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Sergeant -- Haringay. Right, thank you. Thank you. Please, after you, ladies and gentlemen.

#### SASHA

Cheers mate. 

#### BERTIE

Good day.

#### LYDIA

Climb down.

#### HAMID

Well, I have a quick question before we, we go down. Have you seen anyone come through here or, or on the street recently wearing --

#### BRYN

And I'll describe the outfits... 

#### ALEX

Sure. 

#### BRYN

...that the... 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

No. Nothing, nothing really! I mean obviously yourself --

#### ALEX

He gestures to Sasha.

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

-- caught me by surprise. But frankly having seen the size of that fire I'm glad you did! Ha!

#### SASHA

Yes. 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

But no, I... 

#### SASHA

Did you not, like, notice that people were digging in your cellar? 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Digging? No, the first thing that I heard was there were some, some... blasts! And then you, you -- I assumed it was construction. I mean it wasn't, it didn't seem to be coming from my cellar, necessarily. I thought that maybe a heavy cart or something. I mean...

#### HAMID

You mean a, earlier today? 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Yes. 

#### HAMID

But there's no, no, no strange sounds over the last week? 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Oh, well, there's always construction and so on. I mean, _(laughing a little)_ I don't, I don't monitor the cellar. It's one of my brother's -- but I run the shop, you know, for these fine hats.

#### ALEX

He kind of holds one vaguely alluringly to Bertie. 

#### BERTIE

That is a very fine hat. Is that, that your work or your brother's? 

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

Oh, my, my brothers. They, they do the work, you see.

#### ALEX

Tell you what, give me a Diplomacy check, Bertie, specifically. 

#### JAMES

I think I'm going to spend twice as long buttering him up, with Pomp and Pageantry, and... 

#### ALEX

Ha! Go for it. 

#### JAMES

Plus one for this. 

#### ALEX

Go for it. 

#### BERTIE

Really a very fine hat, you know? Absolutely superb. The craftsmanship on this could only really have been achieved by a *truly skilled* hand. One dedicated to his craft...

##### [ALEX STARTS CACKLING]

Arts handed down through all generations. This is not the brim of an amateur --

#### ZOLF

_(desperately trying to interrupt)_ Bertie. Bertie. Bertie --

#### BERTIE

_(unheeding)_ This, no, this is a brim designed to *hoooold* back the sun from the eyes of a gentleman alone! Peasants' eyes will be *fine* being stabbed by the sunlight over and over again --

#### ZOLF

Do you want to be *paid?* 

#### BERTIE

But this -- Hello, money!

#### ALEX

_(gasping through laughter)_ Roll the dice.

#### JAMES

11, my Diplomacy is plus 1 and then it's plus 2 because there was 13 in total. 

#### ALEX

13, yeah, okay. He, he certainly seems less suspicious of all of you but he's buying it, he's swallowing it. 

#### ZOLF

_(in a hiss)_ Hat complimenting can wait, we've got a job to do! Come on, Bertie. 

#### ALEX

Right, you head downstairs to the cellar. 

#### SASHA

So, like that's where I came in, you see. I did this properly sweet jumpin' between all the stacks. _(to herself, pleased)_ It was well good. And then -- he never noticed me at all, not once. And then like there --

#### LYDIA

And I point to the *massive* explosion.

#### SASHA

-- is where it exploded. 

#### ZOLF

Ah. Good insight!

##### [SNICKERS] 

#### ALEX

Just to fill that out... 

#### BERTIE

Even *I* spotted that.

#### ALEX

Just to, to fill out with some detail there. There is still a gaping hole leading presumably back towards Edison's mansion, with brickwork clearly blown from in here, out into the other basement. There is, on the far side of that though, there is -- what's clearly been a large piece of masonry caved in. And pieces of brick and like shards of brick, like a decent explosive was used, is spread throughout. In fact, a significant amount of it is embedded on the far wall? So, Sasha's clearly had a bit of a rough time down here. 

#### JAMES

Oh so, hang on, so it's not like somebody's come in from the basement of a neighbouring building into this room? 

#### ALEX

It looks like someone has probably come *through* this building... 

#### JAMES

Yep.

#### ALEX

...possibly from the adjoining building. 

#### JAMES

*Explosively* through this building, or... 

#### ALEX

Yes. 

#### JAMES

Okay. And an occasion previous to the main explosion? 

#### ALEX

Ah -- 

#### SASHA

They, there was like a hole and people ran through it, and then when I was about to run after them, they threw a thing and it explooooded.

So there was like a hole already. And then the hole got un-holed. 

##### [BEAT]

#### ZOLF

Right, so we're... 

#### BERTIE

Well that's perfectly clear.

##### [ALEX CHUCKLES]

#### ZOLF

So we're going to have to dig through that if we want to follow their trail, or go to the next house over I guess, see if we can get in that way? 

#### ALEX

You hear a muffled,

#### ALEX (VOICE)

_(upset)_ Oh my goodness, now this is *too* much. Too much!

#### ALEX

From upstairs. 

#### JAMES

Directly upstairs? 

#### ALEX

Er, yeah.

#### ZOLF

Bertie, do you want to see what's going on? 

#### BERTIE

Very well!

#### JAMES

Open the trapdoor.

#### BERTIE

Hello! 

#### ALEX

You open the trapdoor and what you see is a cupboard on the far side of the room, is open and there is what looks like the tailor is dangling -- he appears to have fallen through the floor or something. His, his arms are on floor level.

#### ALEX (WILLIKINS)

You couldn't help me, could you? Uh, I -- there appears to be a hole, in my cupboard.

#### BERTIE

Of course, my good man!

#### JAMES

And then I lean over and haul him up. 

#### ALEX

Yeah. He's, he's, he's waify, it's fine. It looks like that, yeah, the flooring's fallen through, beneath the cupboard. 

#### JAMES

Is there any excess from the place -- like, okay, so beneath this hole, is there access on the lower floor between the area this hole gives access to and the place we've just come up on by the stairs? 

#### ALEX

You can't tell, you'd have to drop down. 

#### JAMES

Okay. How far down is it? 

#### ALEX

10 foot. 

#### JAMES

Will that kill me?

##### [BEN LAUGHS]

#### BRYN

No.

#### ALEX

You won't take any damage but, given that you're wearing plate armour, it would be a tough time for you to jump up, grab onto the ledge, and then *heave* yourself back up. 

#### JAMES

Right.

#### LYDIA

Shall I, I pop up after him into the -- I'm in the lobby thing as well? 

#### ALEX

Mhm. 

#### SASHA

What happened? 

#### BERTIE

A big hole, young lady. You seem to be the expert on holes. Would you mind having a look? 

##### [SASHA SIGHS]

#### BEN

I do have visions of you jumping down and shouting, "I'm stuck now."

#### JAMES

"Help! Fell over, can't get up." 

#### BRYN

While they're doing that I'm going to quickly poke my head back through, back towards Edison's, because -- basically I'm going to get out a little notebook and I'm going to start making a list of the buildings that this tunnel goes through. Because potentially one avenue of investigation is to canvass the entire, you know -- every person who owns one of the buildings that has been tunnelled through, has asked each single one of them... 

#### ALEX

What they heard. 

#### BRYN

...what I heard when, you know. 

#### ALEX

I get you. 

#### BRYN

So I'm just going to start to make a quick list of that. I'm not going to do the canvassing now, but... 

#### ALEX

Yeah, that's fine. 

#### JAMES

I have my suspicions about the brothers of Willikins. We haven't seen them, they're not here.

#### ALEX

Do it in character. 

#### JAMES

Sorry.

##### [ALEX LAUGHS]

So... 

#### BRYN

That's what the, while they're dealing with this new hole, I'm going to do that.

#### ALEX

Yeah, that's fine. So, Sasha, you came up...

#### LYDIA

I'll go down the hole. 

#### ALEX

Sure. 

#### LYDIA

Holes are sort of, I can climb. 

#### ALEX

I'm not even going to get you to do an Acrobatics check. 

#### LYDIA

Yeah. 

#### ALEX

She just drops down, lithe like a cat -- there's not actually a noise -- just... 

#### LYDIA

Yeah. I flow like black paint... 

##### [ALEX SNORTS]

...in a gravity well.

##### [UPROAR OF LAUGHTER]

#### BRYN

I see -- I see you're much better at metaphors than social interaction! 

#### ALEX

I feel like I ought to be playing a Neuromancer RPG or something. It was an *amazing* description!

#### LYDIA

That's me. I'll use it again, don't worry. I don't come up with those things that often.

##### [MORE LAUGHTER]

Do I have to tell you all the things I flow like?

#### ALEX

So, you land, you land in -- 

#### LYDIA

_(laughing)_ She flows like a cat in a tar pit. 

#### BEN

Does she have a, have a, a hobby as an amateur rapper?

#### BRYN

Do you flow like a harpoon... 

#### LYDIA

The problem we've got here --

#### BRYN

...daily and nightly? 

#### LYDIA

The problem we've got here is that I don't have particularly good distinction between my voice and hers. *I'm* the one using the metaphors. Anyone that says something stupid is her.

##### [LAUGHTER]

That's how you tell! So... 

#### BEN

That's about it, innit? 

#### LYDIA

Yeah. 

#### ALEX

*Anyway.* So you drop down into the hole... 

#### LYDIA

Yep. 

#### ALEX

...and... 

#### LYDIA

Like black paint in a gravity well? 

#### ALEX

Like black paint falling down a gravity well --

#### LYDIA

Yeah. 

#### ALEX

-- and yeah, you land quietly. It becomes apparent that you're in another narrow cellar. 

#### LYDIA

Mhm? 

#### ALEX

It also becomes apparent, looking behind you, that -- you're on the other side of that cave-in. 

#### LYDIA

_(victorious hiss)_ *Yes.* 

#### ALEX

And there's scorch marks on the sides, it's a much smaller little basement. 

#### LYDIA

Is it dark down there?

#### ALEX

It's, there's enough light coming into in the top of the corridor. It, it disappears into darkness, but you notice it's not very long, as in like maybe 20 feet? At the other end you can see what looks like a manhole cover or something similar is off -- like, it's been pulled off and dragged to the side. But it's very clear that you're on the far side of that cave-in. 

#### LYDIA

Okay. 

#### ALEX

I think we're going to be out of time there! So -- yeah, a bit of investigative sleuthing, and things are pointing in a nice clear direction, at least.

#### LYDIA

Some nice flowing. 

#### ALEX

Yep, down gravity wells.

##### [SOFT SNICKERS]

And... but I think that's everything for today! So, wrapping up, that's goodbye from me. 

#### JAMES

A-and from me. 

#### BRYN

Yep. 

#### LYDIA

And us. 

#### BRYN

All of us. 

#### BEN

Me too! 

##### [CROSSTALK]

#### JAMES

We're all saying goodbye. That's pretty fairly established.

#### ALEX

Everyone's saying goodbye. That's established.

#### LYDIA

Byeeee! 

#### BRYN

We definitely need a better sign-off. 

#### ALEX

Oh, I'll find one.

##### [LAUGHTER]

Bye everyone!

##### [Show Theme - Outro] 

*Rusty Quill Gaming* is a podcast distributed by rustyquill.com and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial International License. Today's episode was recorded and produced by Alexander J Newall. To comment on episodes, make donations, and view links, images, videos and show notes, visit rustyquill.com. Rate and review us on iTunes, visit us on Facebook, tweet us on Twitter @therustyquill, or email us at mail@rustyquill.com. Thanks for listening. 

------

#### JAMES

I-I do want -- if there's some sort of perk which means that I can, like, have a nemesis -- "furniture," or something like that.

#### BEN

What -- "Favoured Enemy: Furniture"? _(as Bertie)_ "I'm from the upper classes!" _(makes smashing sound)_ 

#### JAMES

Who likes -- exactly. 

#### ALEX

_(fervent hiss)_ "Furniture's for the weak and lower classes!"

#### JAMES

Tables are for laying. Er --

##### [LAUGHTER]

------

#### LYDIA

Not that my character would ever quip. 

#### ALEX

Okay. 

#### BRYN

Just quip very badly. 

#### LYDIA

_(singsong)_ "Look at the window!"

##### [SNORTS]

#### BEN

Okay, but please make it a thing for your character to just have terrible quips -- _(dramatic singsong)_ "I'm here to kill you!" 

##### [BEAT]

_(incredibly underwhelmed)_ "Okay?"

##### [LAUGHTER]

Is that how you do it?

#### ALEX

Okay.

------

#### BEN

I mean, Edison's dead, so this setting is much better than the real world already.

#### JAMES

Deadison. -- Is what I'm calling him now.

#### BEN

Yes, Deadison.

##### [BEAT]

No, that's if he comes back as a zombie. "Ohhh, Lord Deadison!"

##### [LAUGHTER]

#### BRYN

And in his secret Arctic lair, Tesla cackles wildly.