---
layout:          post
title:           "MAG187 - ########-27 - Checking Out"
date:            2020-11-12 11:00:00 -0400
categories:      episode
tags:            [Helen Richardson, The Archivist, Martin Blackwood, The Guest, Alex, Labyrinths, Getting Lost, Prisons, Hotels, Mothers, Sons, The Spiral, The Eye, Maniaphobia, Scopophobia]
statement_of:    []
recorder:        []
voiced:          [Helen Richardson, The Archivist, Martin Blackwood, The Guest]
episode_title:   'Checking Out'
episode_number:  '187'
case_number:     '#######-27'
statement_date:  
recording_date:  
event_date:      
summary:         "An exploration of hospitality. <br/><br/>Recorded by The Archivist in Situ."
content_flags:   ["Sudden, loud SFX","Emotional manipulation","Bullying / Taunting","Gaslighting","Disorientation (Spatial & temporal)","Pleading","Arguing","Second person POV","Perceived child neglect (inc SFX)","Character death"]
acast_url:       https://play.acast.com/s/themagnusarchives/mag187-checkingout
formats: 
  DOCX: https://drive.google.com/file/d/15Je-plyB1aQp7U0Mc98Fj36xtldd3VCR/view
  PDF: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Y6eMFQFBeAycl_bogQ6XU3o0SZ_tUmCj/view
  Google Doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1H5MvQFcCsqcV9xW9G_lFcpRaICt9NAWdm1C1uXtd1SA/edit
official:        true
wiki_url:        https://the-magnus-archives.fandom.com/wiki/MAG_187:_Checking_Out
---

##### [CLICK]

##### [A HARSH WIND BLOWS AS FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL APPROACH]

##### [THE ARCHIVIST SIGHS]

##### [A TANNOY CRACKLES INTO LIFE PLAYING HOTEL MUZAK BEHIND HELEN'S WORDS COMING OVER THE SPEAKER]

#### HELEN

So are you going to knock or what?

#### ARCHIVIST

Perhaps I was just enjoying a quiet moment before you arrived.

#### HELEN

Yeah... Bit rude to do it on my doorstep, though, isn't it?

#### ARCHIVIST

Perhaps. My apologies.

#### HELEN

So, where's the old ball and chain? Surely you're not paying me a visit on your lonesome?

#### ARCHIVIST

I am.

##### [DEEP INTAKE OF BREATH]

You gambled right.

#### HELEN

I'm sure I don't know *what* you mean.

#### ARCHIVIST

You hoped that by nudging us past his domain, Martin would still be there when I arrived... so I would have to pass through on my own. Apparently, you were right.

#### HELEN

I thought you said you __weren't__ going to look inside people's heads?

#### ARCHIVIST

I thought you said you weren't people.

#### HELEN

Touché.

#### ARCHIVIST

Well, for what it's worth, I have tried not to look inside you.

#### HELEN

Oh yes?

#### ARCHIVIST

I maybe glimpse a motive, sometimes, but I try not to stare.

#### HELEN

I'm touched. Any particular reason for this monumental restraint?

#### ARCHIVIST

The same reason you don't want Martin here. I wasn't sure I wanted to kill you, and... you don't want to die.

#### HELEN

...

He's still so new to all of this, caught up in ideas of justice and 'solving' things. Sure, he can wave away the theoretical idea of people suffering...

#### ARCHIVIST

But if he sees it up close, he might try to get his boyfriend to smite you?

#### HELEN

Something like that. We've built up such a rapport, he and I. I'd hate to strain it over such a *temporary* disagreement. I'm just concerned for his happiness, you understand.

#### ARCHIVIST

Completely.

#### HELEN

I am a little bit surprised you didn't follow him?

#### ARCHIVIST

He didn't want me to.

I didn't need special powers to know that. When he crossed the threshold I had to make a choice, and --

#### HELEN

-- and you chose me.

#### ARCHIVIST

Let's say you were something of a branching path.

#### HELEN

Hm. Always the flatterer.

So, when *is* he coming out the other side?

#### ARCHIVIST

It might take a while.

#### HELEN

Mmm, yeah, these quiet reflective domains sometimes do. Ah well, more time for us to hang out, I suppose. Shoot the breeze, share some hot goss...

#### ARCHIVIST

Excuse me while I try to contain my joy.

#### HELEN

You are excused. So...

##### [A DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

...are you coming?

#### ARCHIVIST

I thought we agreed I'm far too all-powerful to cross your threshold?

#### HELEN

Don't flatter yourself. This isn't some extension, some limb reaching out to snatch the wayward or the trusting. This domain, this magnificent building, __is__ me.

##### [HELEN STRETCHES AND SIGHS CONTENTEDLY AS THE BUILDING DOES LIKEWISE]

You're welcome here. We'll be quite safe with you travelling through me. As long as neither of us does anything *silly.*

##### [STATIC CRACKLE FROM THE ARCHIVIST]

Or you could just stand there glowering. That's fine too.

#### ARCHIVIST

I'm trying to 'know' if there's another route I can take.

#### HELEN

And?

#### ARCHIVIST

Turns out there is, actually. But it is rather full of spiders.

##### [STATIC FADES AND FOOTSTEPS START WALKING AWAY]

#### HELEN

Oh, don't be such a sourpuss.

##### [FOOTSTEPS STOP, FOLLOWED BY A SIGH]

It'll be fun. I promise.

##### [AN EVEN HEAVIER SIGH FOLLOWS]

#### ARCHIVIST

Alright.

##### [FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL UNTIL THE ARCHIVIST CROSSES HELEN'S THRESHOLD, AND THE DOOR CREAKS SHUT EERILY]

##### [THE PIANO MUZAK CONTINUES AS HE ENTERS A HOTEL CORRIDOR. HELEN'S VOICE COMES FROM ALL AROUND]

#### HELEN

Oooh! _[Shudders]_ It feels different... to last time.

#### ARCHIVIST

Different how?

#### HELEN

The tape recorder feels more, um... awake.

#### ARCHIVIST

Oh. Oh, joy. Come on.

##### [STATIC RISES AGAIN AS HIS FOOTSTEPS START]

##### [HELEN REACTS AS IF HAVING EATEN SOMEONE FOUL]

#### HELEN

Ooh... Eeeeeeurgh!

#### ARCHIVIST

What?

#### HELEN

Eurgh. You just -- blergh... You just *knew* the way through, well, me. And, eurgh, it's not a pleasant feeling. No. I do not like that. Not at all.

#### ARCHIVIST

Well, tough. I'm not going to trust you to be my guide.

#### HELEN

_[Exasperated]_ Would it kill you?

#### ARCHIVIST

It's killed plenty of others.

##### [THE ARCHIVIST CONTINUES WALKING AS HOTEL SOUNDS ECHO AROUND]

##### [THE BUILDING CREAKS AS HELEN'S VOICE CHANGES RESONANCE AGAIN]

#### HELEN

You really don't like me, do you?

#### ARCHIVIST

No.

#### HELEN

And you never have.

#### ARCHIVIST

Not really.

#### HELEN

Even though I saved you from Michael.

#### ARCHIVIST

You *were* Michael.

#### HELEN

Argh. I'm The Distortion, as was Michael, but I am not him, and never have been. Surely you know all this by now, what with your shiny new eye powers?

#### ARCHIVIST

It's not about what I know. It's about what I feel.

#### HELEN

_[Disparagingly]_ Oh, what do you feel?

#### ARCHIVIST

I *liked* Helen.

#### HELEN

I __am__ Helen.

#### ARCHIVIST

The real one.

#### HELEN

...

Helen-Classic.

#### ARCHIVIST

Sure.

#### HELEN

But that doesn't make any sense. You barely met her. You had half an hour together, and she spent most of that ranting about mazes! She was positively *delirious* with paranoia!

#### ARCHIVIST

True. But as you'll recall, I was pretty paranoid myself at that point.

#### HELEN

So what? You *saw* yourself in her? A sad reflection? A possible future?

#### ARCHIVIST

Maybe.

#### HELEN

Oh, John! This existence can be wonderful, if you just let it.

#### ARCHIVIST

_[Sadly]_ I know.

##### [HE CONTINUES TO WALK]

#### HELEN

For what it's worth, I really don't think you would have liked her. If you'd known her better, I mean.

#### ARCHIVIST

No?

#### HELEN

You haven't looked into Helen-Classic's past yet? You should try it. I don't think you'll like what you find.

#### ARCHIVIST

What? Lying to real estate clients? Bit of a prick at parties? Secret Tory?

#### HELEN

Yes.

To all of them, actually.

#### ARCHIVIST

And that's the problem. I could have grown to dislike her, but... you made sure that sort of thing could never happen. Now you use her form, see her mind, but they're just... tools. Michael had nothing you could use but a razor-straight desire for vengeance, but you saw something in Helen that would work on me much more subtly. So you took her. And I'll never get to dislike her.

I'm stuck disliking you instead.

#### HELEN

At least I care enough to bother.

#### ARCHIVIST

That's true, I suppose.

##### [THE KNOWING STATIC RISES AGAIN]

#### HELEN

Oh. Blergh. Please stop doing that.

#### ARCHIVIST

I'll stop doing it when I'm confident you're taking me the right way.

#### HELEN

I am!

##### [STATIC FADES]

#### ARCHIVIST

The quickest way.

#### HELEN

Eurgh. Fine.

##### [THE CORRIDOORS SHIFT IN CRUNCHING WOOD AND BRICK]

##### [A DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

#### ARCHIVIST

So tell me. Why *are* we going the long way? You just trying to keep me from meeting any victims? Or are you trying to figure out if there's still a way you can destroy me?

#### HELEN

...

A bit of both, to be honest.

#### ARCHIVIST

I see. How long have you been working with Elias?

#### HELEN

I'm not.

#### ARCHIVIST

_[Faux-shocked]_ Helen! Is that... a lie?

#### HELEN

No! No, it's not. I don't know him. I've never even -- Look, I'm happy here, all right? This world is fabulous, and I don't want you to end it all because you've got a chip on your shoulder.

#### ARCHIVIST

So you think I can turn the world back?

#### HELEN

I think you're bloody minded and stubborn, and I won't underestimate you.

#### ARCHIVIST

Thank you.

#### HELEN

And for all his bleeding heart, Martin's just as bad. Worse, even, in some ways.

#### ARCHIVIST

_[Fondly]_ Yes, he is.

#### HELEN

You are so difficult to like sometimes. I've been nothing but nice to you.

#### ARCHIVIST

Maybe that's why I never trusted you.

#### HELEN

See? So rude.

#### ARCHIVIST

Or maybe it's because you're an embodiment of the fear of lies and delusion.

#### HELEN

Also rude.

##### [THE ARCHIVIST MAKES A SMALL NOISE OF DISCOMFORT]

#### ARCHIVIST

Could you, uh... sorry, could you manifest a room for me? Please.

#### HELEN

Why?

#### ARCHIVIST

So I can make a statement?

#### HELEN

You do realise it's all me, right? If I make a room, I'll still hear you? Because I'd __be__ the room?

#### ARCHIVIST

Fine, I just thought -- never mind.

##### [DEEP BREATH AS STATIC RISES]

##### [HOTEL SOUNDS NOW INCLUDE FAINT PEOPLE SOUNDS AS WELL, AND THE UNDERLYING SOUNDS OF RAGGED, HURRIED BREATHS]

#### ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

I wander through the corridors, quickly, footsteps hurrying, spurred on by the worries that chase me. What were the directions she'd said, that smiling, friendly woman in reception? Left, right, right, right, left, straight ahead, then down the stairs. No, no, no, that can't be it because I just went left and it's a dead end. Well, not a dead end. It's a door that says 'Honeymoon Suite'.

#### HELEN

_[Saucy]_ Currently unoccupied...

#### ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

I turn to retrace my steps. I must have taken a wrong turn.

#### HELEN

Just in case you and Martin were looking for a room.

##### [DOOR KNOCKING AND RATTLING SOUNDS NOW INTERSPERSE THE STATEMENT]

#### ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

How long... How long has Alex been alone now? On his own? Hours at least. And he's only... Four? Five? It doesn't matter, all that matters is I can picture his face, and he's alone and scared without me. How could I leave my son alone in a place like this? How could I do it?

#### HELEN

Deadbeat mum. Classic.

#### ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

None of the doors have numbers on them, no way to know if they're mine, even if I hadn't lost my keys. I, I bang on each in turn and shout his name. I try the handles even though my palms ache from the blisters. Wait, blisters? How many doors have I tried?

#### HELEN

_[Faux-concern]_ Oh, I'm sure it'll be the next one.

#### ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

A flash of movement up ahead. It's a woman. Do I... recognise her? She looks so friendly, with her wide, happy smile and her cheery voice. I tell her I need to find my son, I... I need to check out. Of course, of course, she tells me. She can help. She'd love nothing more than to help me, although she does hate to see me check out, it's always so hard on her when guests leave.

#### HELEN

I like her!

#### ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

She takes me by the arm and leads me down a narrow service staircase. As we near the bottom I hear a distant cry. Alex. I start to run, but she says no need to rush. Check-out lasts all day. That's good to know. My arm is bleeding... When did I cut it? It's okay, she has some bandages. I'm so lucky she's here.

She bandages my arm, and it starts to bleed even more. Something's wrong here. There's something behind her smile. I look away. The dull blue paint of the staircase is gone but... I recognise the wallpaper... Where have I seen this wallpaper before?

#### HELEN

Nowhere special.

#### ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

The corridor? I'm -- No, we were on the stairs. Did we leave? No this isn't right, it isn't fair. I've got to -- Wait, where is she? She was lying. Was she? She led me here, but now she's gone and I'm... I'm so tired. When did I sleep last? No, I-I can't sleep, I've got to find my son. Just keep moving, there's only so many rooms. He has to be in one of them. Just push on, even if you have to check them all.

Ignore the blood you're dripping on the carpet. Ignore the mirrors that try to tell you how haggard you're growing. Ignore the laughter and the smiling and the chatter that has followed you since the reception. When did you go to reception? You can't picture it.

#### HELEN

Shame, it's very tasteful. There's *ferns.*

#### ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

Wait. What is that? That sound. It's... It's not her, not just her. There's someone else. A man's voice, you think. Droning on, and rising and falling as he talks and talks and talks...

##### [STATIC RISES AGAIN]

#### HELEN

Ah... Ah.

#### ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

Up there, just around the corner. I can hear them. I can hear them. There!

#### VICTIM

Oh, oh thank god! Please, do you know where room 288 is? I... My son, he's, I don't know how long he's been in there on his own, and I need to find him --

#### ARCHIVIST

Look, I'm so sorry. But... there is no room 288.

#### VICTIM

But my son!

##### [HELEN MANIFESTS, SMILINGLY]

#### HELEN

-- Is around here somewhere. Come on, let's have a look together!

#### VICTIM

Oh, brilliant, oh thank you, thank you so much!

#### HELEN

Now, where did you see him last?

#### VICTIM

Uh, okay. It was... it was room... wait, wait hang on.

#### ARCHIVIST

She's lying to you. She isn't your friend.

#### VICTIM

I... wait. I, I know you. You're that woman from reception.

#### HELEN

John, this isn't your business.

#### VICTIM

You were laughing! You were laughing when I got lost.

#### HELEN

Listen, John, I don't come up and tell you how to pull horror from people's brains, do I?

##### [THE VICTIM IS TALKED OVER AS HELEN AND THE ARCHIVIST ARGUE]

##### VICTIM

Please, please, I need... I need some directions.

#### ARCHIVIST

You *do,* a bit, actually, yes.

#### VICTIM

This place, it's such a maze...

#### HELEN

Well, okay, that's... that's fair.

#### VICTIM

I don't know how long I've been here.

#### ARCHIVIST

Look. I'm so sorry --

#### VICTIM

You've got to help me!

#### ARCHIVIST

_[Angrily]_ Don't touch me!

##### [THE ARCHIVIST PULLS AWAY, AS THE VICTIM FALLS AND IS CRYING]

#### HELEN

Oopsie. Not so easy, is it? Keeping up your humanity?

#### VICTIM

_[Pleadingly]_ I'm sorry... It's just my son...

#### ARCHIVIST

I could make her an avatar.

#### HELEN

Huh...

##### [THE CORRIDOORS SHIFT]

Hmmm. Best not.

##### [A DOOR SLAMS. ONE LAST CRY FROM THE VICTIM AS SHE VANISHES, ALONG WITH HELEN]

#### ARCHIVIST

Sending her away? I must have hit a nerve.

##### [HELEN'S VOICE RETURNS TO BEING EVERYWHERE]

#### HELEN

Got *on* my nerves. Not the same thing.

#### ARCHIVIST

If you say so.

#### HELEN

...

So, what happens now?

#### ARCHIVIST

You mean, did the sight of a poor, innocent wretch suffering by your hand convince me that you need to be destroyed?

#### HELEN

Pretty much.

#### ARCHIVIST

No.

You were right. It probably was something that would have convinced Martin it needed to be done.

#### HELEN

But...

#### ARCHIVIST

But I already knew what I would see in here. I already knew what I had to do.

#### HELEN

Because you've grown so fond of your old pal Helen? Or because... you were already going to destroy me?

...

I see.

#### ARCHIVIST

I was hoping I was wrong about you.

#### HELEN

You've __always__ known what I am.

#### ARCHIVIST

Yes. But I'm only recently realising just how dangerous you are.

#### HELEN

Of course I'm dangerous, John. I'm a monster, just like you. and you can't kill all of us.

#### ARCHIVIST

No. You're dangerous because for all the torture and cruelty, you still somehow got us to think you're our friend.

#### HELEN

I am your friend.

#### ARCHIVIST

No. You're not. That's just what you distort. It's why you spin, but you never quite lie. The corridors, the warped body, it's all just set dressing, isn't it? It's not the reality of what you actually are.

#### HELEN

And what, actually, am I?

#### ARCHIVIST

You're a question.

#### HELEN

"What lurks behind the door?"

#### ARCHIVIST

To some. But that would be The Stranger or The Dark. No, you are the question of "What lurks behind a smile?" Is a friendship true, or is it reaching out with hands that cut you?

#### HELEN

Oh, I see. Very good.

#### ARCHIVIST

Even I didn't see it properly, not at first. Not until the tunnels, when you wouldn't help. When you laughed.

#### HELEN

Oh, come on. That wasn't a deception, that was barely a betrayal!

#### ARCHIVIST

You worked to hurt us and help us, all with the same smile, until we can barely tell one from the other. Keeping us off-balance, constantly second-guessing our own opinions of you. Never quite crossing a line we could never forgive, but never putting yourself on the line either. And when one face finally stopped smiling, you just changed the face.

#### HELEN

Fine. So if that's all true... why? Why would I do any of that? What's my actual motive?

#### ARCHIVIST

I don't think you even have one. It's just what you are.

#### HELEN

Oh, well done. Very poetic.

#### ARCHIVIST

But none of that actually matters. What matters is that you want the world to stay as it is. And I don't know if we can change it back, but if there is *any* possibility, you will try and stop us. And when you do, I can't think of anyone more dangerous.

#### HELEN

Oh, give over! You're the most powerful thing in the world. _[Placatingly]_ What could I possibly do?

#### ARCHIVIST

It's not me I'm worried about.

#### HELEN

Eurgh, fine. I thought this might happen.

#### ARCHIVIST

Ceaseless Watch-- aargh!

##### [CREAKING AS THE CORRIDOORS FLEX AND CONSTRICT]

#### HELEN

Want to try that again?

#### ARCHIVIST

Ceasel--

##### [MORE FLEXING]

#### HELEN

_[Darkly]_ You are inside my domain now, Archivist. I can shift any part of myself to any corner of this wonderful hell __you__ have built for us. By the time the Eye focuses on me, I'm already somewhere new, something new.

##### [DOORS OPEN]

#### ARCHIVIST

Ceaseless --

##### [ANOTHING WARNING SHIFT]

#### HELEN

Whoopsie!

#### ARCHIVIST

You can't do this forever!

#### HELEN

In this brave new world? I'm afraid I __very__ much can.

#### ARCHIVIST

You can't kill me, though. You're just stalling.

#### HELEN

True. But hopefully I can stall long enough that any of your little gang that can die, have done so. By the time I let you out, you'll have nobody else.

#### ARCHIVIST

...

I __will__ end you.

##### [SILENCE BUT FOR SOME CREAKING]

What, nothing? No smirk? A laugh? I've got you rattled.

#### HELEN

I'm not scared of you.

#### ARCHIVIST

Helen... Was that... a lie?

#### HELEN

_[Too quickly]_ No!

#### ARCHIVIST

A lie. A genuine untruth. Like a little bit of loose thread, flitting in the breeze.

#### HELEN

Fine. You can go.

##### [SHIFTING, AND A NEW DOOR OPENS]

There's the door. Just go!

#### ARCHIVIST

Ceaseless Watcher!

#### HELEN

No!

##### [THROUGH THE INCANTATION, THE HARSH BUZZ OF STATIC MINGLES WITH CREAKING WOODWORK AND CRUMBLING CRICK]

#### ARCHIVIST

See this lie, this golden strand of falsehood. Take it in your gaze and pull it, follow through its curves and twists and knots as it unravels all before you.

#### HELEN (BACKGROUND)

No. No! No! No, Archivist! Stop! John, it's me, it's Helen. It's me. I've *always* been your friend. Don't do this to me. I have always helped you. I have *always* helped you and lent you doors. Think of all that I have done for you. If you do this, everyone inside me is dead!

#### ARCHIVIST

Unweave it now, its fear and its falsehood, its hidden teeth and the ones it wears so proudly.

#### HELEN (BACKGROUND)

You're no different -- You are __no__ different from me! You can't save __anyone!__

#### ARCHIVIST

Take all that it is and all that it has. It is yours!

#### HELEN

No! NOOOOOO!

##### [HELEN'S VOICE IS STRETCHED AND VANISHED]

##### [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF DISTORTED DEMOLITION]

#### ARCHIVIST

Urgh!

##### [A STRANGE SOUND RINGS OUT AS THE ARCHIVIST REAPPEARS IN THE WASTELAND]

#### MARTIN

Christ, John!

#### ARCHIVIST

_[Groggy]_ Oh, Martin! Good.

#### MARTIN

Wh-- Wh-wh-what... What happened? Th-th-there was the hotel and then...

#### ARCHIVIST

I, um... I killed Helen.

#### MARTIN

Oh.

Why?

#### ARCHIVIST

Long story. Ish. I'll explain later.

#### MARTIN

Alright. And you couldn't wait until you were outside?

#### ARCHIVIST

Not really.

#### MARTIN

Fair enough.

#### ARCHIVIST

How are you? How was... your domain?

#### MARTIN

Oh. Well. I mean, it feels sort of underwhelming now, to be honest. Er, more of a gentle journey of self-discovery, really. I-I didn't realise I'm quite so... argumentative.

#### ARCHIVIST

I mean...

#### MARTIN

Y-y-you don't need to comment.

#### ARCHIVIST

Alright.

#### MARTIN

So...

Helen's gone, then?

#### ARCHIVIST

Yeah.

##### [FOOTSTEPS SQUELCH AS THEY PICK THEIR WAY FORWARD]

#### MARTIN

Damn.

#### ARCHIVIST

Yeah.

#### MARTIN

Time to mourn?

#### ARCHIVIST

You can if you want.

...

Do you? Want to mourn?

#### MARTIN

...

A bit, I guess. I-I mean, she was our friend. Sort of. A bit. Until you killed her. Which I'm sure you had to do.

#### ARCHIVIST

Take some time if you need. But not too long.

#### MARTIN

Why the sudden rush?

#### ARCHIVIST

You see that over there?

#### MARTIN

Yeah?

#### ARCHIVIST

That's London.

##### [CLICK]