---
layout:          post
title:           "MAGP 23 - A New You"
date:            2024-07-25 15:00:00 # in UTC
episode_type:      episode
tags:            []
voiced:          []
categories:			"tmagp"
podcasts: ["tmagp"]
title_prefix:	"MAGP"
prev_categories: ["tmagp"]
prev_prefixes: ["MAGP"]
prev_episode:	['022']
prev_episode_num:		['022']
prev_episode_title:		["Mixed Signals"]
next_categories: ["tmagp"]
next_prefixes: ["MAGP"]
next_episode:	['024']
next_episode_num:		['024']
next_episode_title:		["Raising Issues"]
episode_title:   'A New You'
episode_number:  '023'
summary:         "CAT13RBC3536-20062018-18042024<br/>Transformation (dysmorphic) -/- doppelganger (infection)"
content_flags:   ["Dysmorphia", "Infection", "Trypophobia", "Body Horror/Modification", "Environmental Horror", "Elements similar to suicide attempt", "Allusion/comparison to childbirth"]
acast_url:      https://shows.acast.com/themagnusarchives/episodes/the-magnus-protocol-23-a-new-you
formats:
    Official PDF: https://rustyquillcom.sharepoint.com/:f:/g/ElFMfJSzHzRMhhWGghFX8E8Bg27o0_Amiemvu0Hqq8D6Yg
official:        true
---

#### ANNOUNCER

This episode is dedicated to Hamda Alkhaja. 

##### [Intro Theme]

#### ANNOUNCER

Rusty Quill Presents: The Magnus Protocol.

Episode Twenty-Three -- A New You.

##### [Music]

---

##### [The familiar beeps and whir of the O.I.A.R. computer's microphone activating]

##### [Sounds of a pencil scratching on paper]

##### [Sam hums to himself as he works]

##### [The pencil snaps]

#### SAM

Ugh. Dammit.

##### [He sighs and stands, then walks a few paces away]

##### [Whirs of a pencil sharpener]

##### [New footsteps approach:]

#### LENA

Problems? 

#### SAM

Just a broken pencil. 

#### LENA

I see.

##### [Papers rustle as she picks them up]

And what exactly is this you're working on anyway? 

#### SAM

_(continuing to sharpen the pencil)_ Just some response department paperwork. 

##### [Lena leafs through the papers]

#### LENA

You are aware that the response department hasn't existed for some years now? 

#### SAM

Well, yes, but --

#### LENA

I am afraid it looks like our colleagues are entertaining themselves at your expense. 

#### SAM

Sorry? 

##### [He walks back]

#### LENA

I've seen this with other new hires. Some... ill-conceived initiation rite. Alice's doing, I suspect. 

#### SAM

Okay, uh... Thanks for the heads up.

##### [Swivel chair rolls as Sam sits back down]

##### [He starts writing again]

#### LENA

What I am trying to say, Sam, is that this paperwork is unnecessary. Meaningless. 

#### SAM

I understand. But I think I might see how far down the rabbit hole goes. If it is Alice...

#### LENA

I am sure it is. 

#### SAM

...I want to see how long she can keep it up for. 

#### LENA

_(nonplussed)_ So long as it doesn't interfere with your work. 

#### SAM

Oh, I'm doing it strictly off the clock.

##### [Beat. Pencil continues scratching.]

#### SAM

_(heh)_ It's actually sort of comforting in a way, you know? 

#### LENA

I can assure you, I don't. 

#### SAM

Uh -- there's just something very zen about filling in pointless forms now and then.

#### LENA

I see.

##### [She doesn't.]

#### LENA

Well, as *engrossing* as this must be for you, I believe your shift has started.

... 

_(exasperated)_ Sam. 

#### SAM

Mmm? Oh -- _(embarrassed laugh)_ Yeah, sorry.

##### [Sam puts the papers aside, then begins his computer work.]

##### [Footsteps as Lena departs.]

---

#### CHESTER

**FORUM THREAD: Updates & Live-posting**

**REGISTERED BY: Alnewman86 (20-06-18, 19:27)**

**POST #1: Finding My Piece (20-06-18, 19:31)**

Hey all, A here. First off, thank you so much for all the help over these past few months. I can't express how insightful, patient and open-minded this community has been. I never thought I'd find others willing to help me create a better me like this, so... sincerely, thank you.

Anyway, I'm going to be documenting my journey here and wanted to start by asking how *you* all went about finding your piece. I've been thinking it over for a while now. I even caught myself saying it to myself into the bathroom mirror at work. Someone overheard me and thought I was talking about finding peace, like *inner* peace, and asked if I was meditating. Kind of ironic, really, but I don't think they'd get the joke.

Anyway, I'd love to know how others found their piece. Or I guess my question is more... Does it matter? Should it be important, should it be meaningful? Should it be random? Am I overthinking it?

Looking for thoughts and advice. I'm going to take this all the way, so will take all the help I can get! 

43 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #2: Found it!**  
Alnewman86 (13-07-18, 18:52)

I think I found it. My piece. Maybe I knew where it was all along. I'm a bit worried though, because to get it I have to be a bit... Sneaky? Nothing too bad, but I'm nervous. There's this restaurant I eat at all the time -- or... rather, I *used* to eat at all the time -- and I guess it's significant to me. It was where I said yes after Anthony proposed (those who've read some of my previous posts know how THAT turned out), but it's also where I first realized that I had to do this.

They have this massive aquarium, and I remember just suddenly realizing how serene everything was inside. The water was crystal blue and at the bottom there it was. Vibrant, electric almost, and... so very much alive.

(God knows how they got it all through customs.)

I remember the first night coming home after that. Anthony was snoring beside me, and I couldn't stop thinking about that aquarium. I didn't really know what I was searching for, I didn't know how to articulate it. It's a feeling I'm sure many of us here know very well, and so as I tried to unfold my thoughts, I stumbled upon... well, you guys! :\)[^1]

[^1]: Pronounced "smiley face."

So, yeah, that's going to be my piece. I've already spoken to a waiter who's agreed to let me in the back tomorrow night after closing, while they're cleaning up the kitchen. I have my container, and I've read all the steps in the How-To Forum. I just wanted you all to be here with me to experience it, so... Wish me luck!

28 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #3: I think I'm just about ready**  
Alnewman86 (14-07-18, 20:48)

I'm parked in across the street, waiting for the last customers, thinking about what this place meant to me, back then. What would've happened if things'd been different. Not that I'd have it any other way. His voice was so loud for so long it *drowned* me out of my own life. I wonder if any of you have felt it? The way other people try to convince us that we can better ourselves by being more like what *they* want.

But we can become someone new. Someone better. Someone the pain can't touch... Anthony would never understand the difference. He couldn't.

I wonder how many people in that restaurant right now are still stuck like I was?

I'm just killing time, so happy to chat it through, if anyone wants (at least until the waiter arrives!).

13 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #4: I think I'm just about ready -- 2**  
Alnewman86 (15-07-18, 20:37)

I can't believe it! My heart is still racing! I've never done *anything* like this before. Never stolen, never cheated... I feel __alive__ for the first time in my life.

I'm staring at my piece right now. It's on my desk. I want to keep it warm. I'm going to sleep holding it tonight like you all suggested, so it's properly bonded with me before tomorrow...

It is -- safe, right?

O-of course it is, I'm overthinking it. Will be back tomorrow, right before the full moon! 

34 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #5: First Cut**  
Alnewman86 (16-07-18, 19:22)

Took today off work. Sleeping beside the coral, *my* coral, my piece... I slept better than any night next to Anthony, better than any night *ever.* The best sleep of my life. I'm so ready to be whole.

I even had a dream last night! I was back at the restaurant, looking at the aquarium while Anthony prattled on. I was staring, aimlessly, at the lights; the colourful stones, the green of the moss on the stones that hugged the coral... when all of a sudden, I was alone. And... I was afraid. I span my head around, looking for Anthony, for the waiter, for *anyone.* Then I saw her. On the other side of the aquarium. We locked eyes for just a moment.

Like I said, I want to share every part of this for anyone who wants to follow in my steps. I know some of you like the dream interpretation part of it and I wanted to share!

But I'm ready. I have my rubber gloves, I've sanitized the scalpel as LazerCat23 suggested, I have a clean working surface, bags, bandages, and my sewing kit for after, and... and I am -- nervous.

I know what I need to do, and I know it will all be worth it.

Will update right after. Here we go! 

35 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #6: First Cut -- Update**  
Alnewman86 (16-07-18, 21:17)

I'm a bit out of it but I promised I would update: Feeling a bit woozy but it's done. My thigh bled a lot more than I expected, you were right burntumberJ[^2]. I have tomorrow off but I have to go back to work while she starts to grow.

[^2]: Pronounced "burnt-umber J," like the color umber

I can't wait... I can see her, under my rippled skin. Waiting to grow.

She's perfect. She's everything I wish I could've been. 

15 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #7: My Secret**  
Alnewman86 (26-07-18, 15:34)

I've been at work for a week now and it's so... *different.* It was difficult to go back to "normal" knowing she was inside me, but here I am, actually sat at my desk with her pressing against my thigh skin. I keep catching myself running my fingers under my skirt just to feel her pressing up beneath my skin; living, breathing polyps gently moving through my leg. A life that I hold within my body and *nurture.*

Anthony would never have understood, it's not the same as some squealing baby. I'm so glad he's gone, and like you've all said, she and I -- are becoming one. And then two.

45 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #8: My Secret -- Update 1**  
Alnewman86 (18-08-18, 22:03)

Hey all. I know it's been a few weeks since I updated. I'm in the early parts of stage 2 and I'm here to confirm it is *TERRIFYING.* It started with my feet. I noticed in the shower one day that I couldn't feel the hot water on them... it was so *strange* at first, but I knew what was happening thanks to your advice. It's up to my waist now... no feeling whatsoever.

I'm on bereavement leave from work for the next bit, then I have some vacation days saved up. I have the humidifiers set high, the curtains are taped shut, and everything I need is within reach. I know any day now my second stage will properly begin.

I'm... terrified. I'm exhilarated. It's really happening!

Wish me luck! 

54 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #9: My Secret -- Update 2**  
Alnewman86 (27-08-18, 10:13)

It's started. Last night, I heard it while laying in bed... It's exactly as described. I couldn't feel a thing, nothing, but then the skin broke with such a distinct sound. Like cutting a half-inflated football. Then I saw the red blossom out through the white sheets.

She's so beautiful, bright pink and radiant! The coral polyps blooming and scattering from the broken flesh over my feet and legs. With such an incredible smell. Like sea water, sand and copper.

It's slow, though, much slower than I would've thought...

Oh! And I managed to rent a paralysis computer. Great suggestion again, burntumberJ. So I should be able to keep everyone updated as planned, even when my arms start to go.

I cannot express how great it is to finally see her... to finally meet her out in the world at last.

62 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #10: am I dreaming**  
Alnewman86 (30-08-18, 08:19)

I had the dream again. I was in the restaurant. I was alone, and I met her eyes. She was me. She was with me that first night. She was always with me... but now she's arrived. She's here. I'm awake.

She has my eyes. 

61 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #11: She's almost here**  
Alnewman86 (01-09-18, 09:04)

Last night I watched my stomach unzip. The skin stretched, then tore cleanly. There was only the blood. It was beautiful, but it took forever. I keep thinking of this life I'm leaving behind. I'd love her to keep my name. But I don't know if she will.

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm scared.

68 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #12: She's almost here -- 2**  
Alnewman86 (01-09-18, 18:33)

I'm having difficulty swallowing fluids now. My skin is wet with sweat and mold.

Alesis Newman is leaving this world and whatever comes next -- though she may look like me in some ways, though she may carry a part of me with her -- she'll be better. Free of all my mistakes.

Perhaps people will like her more than me. I already like her more than me.

I want to see her walk off happy and strong. I hope she doesn't feel this now, just be the good parts of me. _(hoarse)_ I hope it's like I dreamt, I hope she has my eyes... 

71 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

**POST #13: Alesis Newman Final**  
Alnewman86 (03-09-18, 02:22)

Writing with my eyes now. The last parts of me float away. She lays where I lay but she is not me. She is strong. She is graceful. She is bright in mind and color and I love her, more than I thought I could love anything.

I want you all to know before my skull pulls apart... you were

515 LIKES  
37 COMMENTS

**POST #14: untitled**  
Alnewman86 (03-01-18, 02:27)  
[Deleted by moderators 03-01-18, 02:28]

This isn't right, there's something wrong, something wrong with her. I don't

Help me 

0 LIKES  
0 COMMENTS

THREAD LOCKED BY BETTERTHENEW (03-01-18, 12:07)

##### [Beep as the case shuts down.]

---

##### [CCTV whirs on in the O.I.A.R. breakroom]

##### [Sam enters the room and starts preparing coffee]

##### [He yawns]

#### CELIA

_(yawning)_ Oh great, you've got me started. 

#### SAM

_(deliberately yawning)_ Soooooorryyy.

#### CELIA

_(yawning again, laughing)_ Stop it!

##### [They both laugh. Sam finishes preparing the cup and sits next to Celia.]

#### SAM

Anything good tonight? 

#### CELIA

Mm, another evil toy. That's like *six* this week. 

#### SAM

I'd give you my weirder ones if I could. 

#### CELIA

_(laughs)_ Aw, thanks!

##### [She takes a sip from her cup]

Mm. Speaking of, did you have any luck? 

#### SAM

Hm? 

#### CELIA

Those names I gave you. You find anything? 

#### SAM

Nothing useful. Jonathan Sims is pretty generic as names go. And I didn't have much luck with Martin Blackwood either.

#### CELIA

Hmm.

#### SAM

There were two that were close to the right age... 

#### CELIA

But? 

#### SAM

*But,* they died. Separately, nearly twenty years ago. Cycling accident and some kind of heart thing? No connection to the Magnus Institute. As far as I can tell, they never even met.

Where'd you say you found them? 

#### CELIA

Couple of old documents. I must have got the wrong end of the stick. I've had a bit of luck *elsewhere,* though.

#### SAM

Oh yeah? 

#### CELIA

I *think* I've found the right Basira Hussain, *and* I have a lead on a Helen... 

#### SAM

Richardson? 

#### CELIA

That's the one. 

#### SAM

Fantastic! When can we go talk to them? 

#### CELIA

_(audibly smiling)_ Okay, hold your horses...

##### [Gwen enters, clearly upset]

##### [Beat]

##### [She begins to make coffee, sees it is empty, then begins making more]

#### SAM

_(quietly to Celia)_ Don't... 

#### CELIA

Shhh.

_(calling to Gwen)_ Care to join? 

#### GWEN

I'm fine. 

#### SAM

Glad to hear it. 

##### [Coffee machine continues to whir]

#### CELIA

Gwen... it's okay if you need a bit of help now you're back on cases.

#### GWEN

_(slamming the coffee pot down)_ I said I'm __fine.__

##### [An excruciatingly awkward beat.]

#### SAM

_(quietly)_ Told you... 

#### CELIA

...All right then!

_(to Sam)_ Shall we? 

#### SAM

_(exhausted)_ God, yes.

##### [Footsteps as they depart]

##### [We stay in the breakroom as Gwen continues making coffee]

##### [A crash of porcelain]

##### [Gwen gasps]

##### [It feels like she is about to explode. Instead she cries, small and quiet.]

##### [Footsteps approach:]

#### ALICE

So I hear you're back to your normal, pleasant --

_(noticing)_ Oh. ...Ah. 

##### [Gwen tries to stop crying.]

#### GWEN

_(hoarse)_ I'm *fine.* I dropped my mug. 

#### ALICE

I can see that.

##### [Pause.]

##### [Alice takes over preparing coffee while Gwen inhales and exhales, shaky.]

#### ALICE

I had a favorite mug. It said "love you, bitch" and had a picture of a drunk dog on it.

##### [Gwen sniffles]

#### ALICE

Luke got it to me with the cash from his first gig. Sam broke it by accident last month. I nearly fed him the pieces.

##### [Porcelain noises as Alice helps pick up the broken mug]

#### ALICE

Is it really that bad, being back in the muck with the rest of us? 

#### GWEN

It's not that. 

#### ALICE

_(softer)_ Oh yeah? 

#### GWEN

_(dark)_ You wouldn't understand. 

#### ALICE

_(snorts; lightly:)_ Probably not, but I'm as good as you're going to get here! Especially when you keep biting everyone's heads off.

#### GWEN

...

_(deep breath)_ Lena... She's been sending me out to deal with people... things.

#### ALICE

...Okay.

#### GWEN

And, well -- they're--... weird.

#### ALICE

Weird like a... "lobster in a hat" weird, or...

#### GWEN

...

I think I have an idea of where our cases are coming from. 

#### ALICE

_(suspicious)_ What are you saying, Gwen? 

#### GWEN

_(cracking)_ I thought maybe we were meant to be documenting them, keeping them monitored or under control, but -- but then the Externals started turning up in the caseload *after* I gave them instructions and--...

##### [She takes a shuddering breath]

Last time it was this tattooist. I was meant to be recruiting them, only... things didn't go well, Alice. They went bad. *Very* bad. 

#### ALICE

_(serious)_ Go on. 

#### GWEN

They... *It* -- well -- it turned on me. And I mean *really* turned on me. It was going to *kill* me, Alice. It killed someone right in front of me and I was...

It was ready for me next. But -- but then another showed up. 

#### ALICE

Another what?

#### GWEN

Another *thing.* Another "External." At least I think it was.

They faced off, and... I ran. 

#### ALICE

God. What did the police say? 

#### GWEN

What are you talking about? The police? A-- Alice, this wasn't some random mugging! These... *things.* They're awful, *horrific!* They __aren't. *Human.*__ 

#### ALICE

And Lena *knows* this? 

##### [Gwen's laugh is very, very bitter.]

#### GWEN

Oh, she knows. She just doesn't care enough to warn us.

##### [A long silence]

#### GWEN

_(quieter)_ You don't believe me. 

#### ALICE

_(fabric shifting as she gestures dramatically:)_ After what I've seen here over the years? No, I am *totally* ready to believe Lena would rather hire *literal monsters* than pay a decent wage.

##### [Gwen sniffles slightly. Alice drops the act.]

#### ALICE

...Sorry. No *wonder* you've been so arsey. 

#### GWEN

I've not been "arsey" --

#### ALICE

So this other external. Why did it intervene? 

#### GWEN

...I don't know. 

#### ALICE

But like, how did you know it was an external? 

#### GWEN

Because I know how many eyes a regular human is supposed to have!

It just -- stood there, holding this old tape recorder and...

##### [Alice inhales, sharp]

#### GWEN

What? What is it? 

#### ALICE

A tape recorder? 

#### GWEN

...Yes. 

#### ALICE

You're *sure.* 

#### GWEN

Of course I'm *sure!* _(angrier)_ Are you not listening to me--?! I just told you Lena has been hiring supernatural monsters and you're asking about a *cassette player* of *all things* --

#### ALICE

_(urgent)_ Shut up. 

#### GWEN

Don't you *dare* tell me to shut up, Alice--

#### ALICE

*Gwen,* I think we're in danger! 

#### GWEN

That's what *I've* been trying to say for the last five minutes!

#### ALICE

No, *listen!* That tape... thing.

##### [Gwen realises she's serious. Stops.]

#### ALICE

_(quieter)_ This isn't the first time I've... 

#### GWEN

What? 

#### ALICE

_(in blank horror)_ I think they might be after us. All of us.

##### [Silence.]

#### GWEN

Alice, what are we going to do? 

#### ALICE

I don't know. 

---

##### [Music]

#### ANNOUNCER

The Magnus Protocol is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International License. The series is created by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall, and directed by Alexander J Newall.

This episode was written by Harlan Guthrie and edited with additional materials by Jonathan Sims and Alexander J Newall, with vocal edits by Nico Vettese, soundscaping by Meg McKellar, and mastering by Catherine Rinella with music by Sam Jones.

It featured Billie Hindle as Alice Dyer, Shahan Hamza as Samama Khalid, Anusia Battersby as Gwen Bouchard, Lowri Ann Davies as Celia Ripley, Sarah Lambie as Lena Kelley with additional voices from Jonathan Sims.

The Magnus Protocol is produced by April Sumner, with executive producers Alexander J Newall, Dani McDonough, Linn Ci, and Samantha F.G. Hamilton, and Associate Producers Jordan L. Hawk, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cetius d'Raven, and Megan Nice.

To subscribe, view associated materials, or join our Patreon, visit rustyquill.com. Rate and review us online, tweet us @therustyquill, visit us on facebook or email us at mail@rustyquill.com.

Thanks for listening.