---
layout:          post
title:           "MAG177 - ########-17 - Wonderland"
date:            2020-09-03 12:00:00 -0400
episode_type:      episode
tags:            [Doctor David, Basira Hussain, Helen Richardson, Martin Blackwood, The Archivist, Medical, Hospitals, Psychiatry, Maniaphobia, The Spiral]
statement_of:    []
recorder:        []
voiced:          [Basira Hussain, Helen Richardson, Martin Blackwood, The Archivist]
categories:			"tma"
podcasts: ["tma"]
title_prefix:	"MAG"
prev_categories: ["tma"]
prev_prefixes: ["MAG"]
next_categories: ["tma"]
next_prefixes: ["MAG"]
prev_episode:   ['17606-bloopersnormalhumans']
next_episode:   ['178']
prev_episode_num:		['176.06']
next_episode_num:		['178']
prev_episode_title:		["MAG Bloopers - Totally Normal Real Humans"]
next_episode_title:		["The Processing Line"]
episode_title:   'Wonderland'
episode_number:  '177'
case_number:     '#######-17'
statement_date:  
recording_date:  
event_date:      
summary:         "An examination of mental health care. <br/><br/>Audio recorded by the Archivist, in situ."
content_flags:   ["Hospitals / Mental institutions", "Mental illness", "Gaslighting", "Mental health abuse", "Medical / Therapeutic malpractice", "Victim blaming", "Diminution / belittling language", "Name invalidation", "Involuntary commitment", "Medication (inc involuntary medication)", "Suicidal ideation (implied)", "Psychosis / unreality", "Paranoia", "Explicit language", "Threats", "Body horror", "Avoidance of facts", "Arguments", "Relationship conflict", "Second-person Point-Of-View statement", "Mentions of: death, police brutality, gore"]
acast_url:       https://play.acast.com/s/themagnusarchives/mag177-wonderland
formats:
  DOCX: https://drive.google.com/file/d/16NuYSb7bTpVckohonkXEX8HJOjeRhTyd/view
  PDF: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ARCLZlVWL-rP_Q0daRq0s0-2Mi0UVoZQ/view
  Google Doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ITVg4lGp4m5-KRm4ROU451eHsitPgp8DbkdCICYTJNw/edit
official:        true
wiki_url:        https://the-magnus-archives.fandom.com/wiki/MAG_177:_Wonderland
---

##### [CLICK]

##### [FOOTSTEPS ECHO IN A CORRIDOR, A TANNOY MUMBLES WORDS INDISTINCTLY AND TINNY MUZAK PLAYS FAINTLY]

#### MARTIN

Look, this is ridiculous, Basira. Can we please just talk?

#### BASIRA

No.

#### MARTIN

Why not?

#### ARCHIVIST

Martin...

#### MARTIN

_[Exasperated]_ No, John. Enough is enough. It has been *hours* and not a bloody word! We have been slogging our way through literal *nightmares* to find you, Basira. There's been p-plagues and wars and monsters and I-- *we've* been worried sick. It has been *awful* and the least that --

#### BASIRA

Can't have been that bad.

#### MARTIN

I -- what?

#### BASIRA

You look *fine* to me.

#### MARTIN

_[Indignant]_ Excuse me?

#### BASIRA

Whole and healthy with a shoulder to lean on every step of the way.

#### MARTIN

Basira...

#### ARCHIVIST

_[Softly]_ Martin, leave it.

Trust me. She's been through a lot more than we have.

#### MARTIN

I-It's not a competition! Christ! I just wanted to *talk.* That's all.

#### BASIRA

So talk.

#### MARTIN

I mean stop and talk.

##### [FOOTSTEPS STOP]

#### BASIRA

I'd love that, Martin. I really would. Unfortunately, you two cost me my only lead on Daisy. And I need to find her before she moves on. So unless you have something *useful* to say...

#### ARCHIVIST

_[Wearily]_ Daisy's not here. She's *already* moved on.

#### BASIRA

What?

#### MARTIN

See, this is exactly the kind of thing that comes up when we *talk --*

#### BASIRA

_[Impatient]_ Martin!

#### ARCHIVIST

I told you, I know everything now, more or less. I can see her. With my, uh...

#### BASIRA

...

Magic horrorvision?

#### ARCHIVIST

Sure.

#### MARTIN

It's actually been amazingly useful so far.

#### BASIRA

So you can control it now?

#### ARCHIVIST

Yes.

#### BASIRA

Hmm.

#### MARTIN

So...

We know she's not here, and John can find her wherever she goes... it sounds to me like we actually *do* have a moment to talk. Hm?

...

You might not care but it *is* good to see you Basira. It has been a long time since we saw a friendly face.

#### BASIRA

Friendly wasn't what I was going for.

#### MARTIN

All I'm saying is, it's nice to find someone we can trust again. Ever since everything went to hell, it's just been --

#### BASIRA

Yeah, about that. 

_[Pointedly to The Archivist]_ You caused this, didn't you?

##### [THE ARCHIVIST GIVES A HEAVY BREATH]

Don't give me that look, you *know* what I mean. __Did__ you mess up the world? Yes or no.

#### ARCHIVIST

...

Yes.

#### BASIRA

God*damn*it! I knew it was you! I *knew* it!

#### MARTIN

Basira...

#### ARCHIVIST

I didn't mean to. Elias was... 

We were all playing out this big ritual for him. With me as the lynchpin, the gate.

#### BASIRA

Oh you didn't *mean* to! Oh that's all right then. Christ! I should've known... I... I should've just let Daisy take you out at the start.

#### MARTIN

You don't mean that.

#### BASIRA

No?

_[Exhales]_ I don't know. Maybe. If I had... it would have stopped all this, wouldn't it?

#### ARCHIVIST

Perhaps.

Perhaps not.

#### BASIRA

I thought you knew everything?

#### MARTIN

He can't do hypotheticals.

#### BASIRA

And if I killed you now?

#### MARTIN

What did I just say?

#### ARCHIVIST

You couldn't. And even if you could, it wouldn't be enough to undo what's happened to the world. 

#### BASIRA

So... what? You're the immortal god of this messed up little hellscape now?

#### ARCHIVIST

'God' might be stretching it. _[Deep breath]_ But I am more powerful now, yes.

#### BASIRA

Brilliant.

#### MARTIN

...

Okay, well since we're talking, I-I was wondering... I don't know if, if I missed it, or if you both just assumed that I knew, since you knew it already, but, well...

#### BASIRA

Spit it out.

#### MARTIN

What was the deal with Trevor? Why was he... I mean, I'm not really sure what happened back there?

#### BASIRA

Seriously? You brought him here, and you didn't brief him, Mr. All-Seeing-Eye?

#### MARTIN

Oh, he just keeps being vague and ominous.

#### BASIRA

Well, some things don't change then.

#### ARCHIVIST

It was a *courtesy.* I wasn't sure what you'd be comfortable with me sharing. 

#### BASIRA

Oh how generous.

#### MARTIN

Basira...

We *want* to help you.

#### BASIRA

...

So, when everything went sideways at the institute, I lost track of Daisy and Julia Montauk. I know Daisy managed to kill her, but I don't know the details. Didn't find any sign of them in the Archives, at least.

#### ARCHIVIST

It was about a week later. They'd been stalking each other through the tunnels beneath the city. Daisy managed to corner her in an old subway access, and tore out her throat. Trevor found the body three hours later.

#### BASIRA

_[Irritated]_ Do *you* want to tell it?

#### ARCHIVIST

Sorry. I thought you'd want me to fill in on the missing details.

#### BASIRA

I don't.

Anyway, seems like since then Trevor was tracking Daisy. Wanted revenge, you heard him. I was still in the Institute when everything went to hell outside, so I guess that protected me from the first wave. Once I saw what had happened... that we'd lost... 

Didn't feel like there was anything left worth doing, except keeping my promise to Daisy. So I went looking. Found Trevor's trail eventually and started tailing him. Hoped I could follow him as he tracked Daisy, but... then *you* had to blunder your way in as always, and I had to step in.

#### MARTIN

Sorry.

#### BASIRA

It's his fault. He used you to bait Trevor, to bait me.

#### MARTIN

Wait, I'm, I'm sorry, you used me as *bait*?

#### ARCHIVIST

I used *us* as bait. I didn't know which one he'd go for.

#### MARTIN

Yeah, sure, but... only one of us was *aware* of the plan.

#### ARCHIVIST

I'm, I'm sorry. I was going to tell you, but then I-I got distracted and... then we were within earshot of him, and I couldn't say anything and... I-I mean, you would have agreed, right?

#### MARTIN

That's not the point, John.

#### ARCHIVIST

I'm sorry.

#### MARTIN

...

It's okay. I understand.

##### [FABRIC RUSTLES]

#### BASIRA

You done?

#### ARCHIVIST

Can we not have a moment?

#### BASIRA

No, John, we can't. This is a chase, remember? Time is a factor.

#### ARCHIVIST

Less than you might think.

So what happens next?

#### BASIRA

What do you think? You just cost me my only lead to Daisy. All I have now is you, and you owe me.

#### ARCHIVIST

So I guide you to Daisy.

#### BASIRA

Is she close?

#### ARCHIVIST

When did I become everybody's satnav?

#### BASIRA / MARTIN

John.

#### ARCHIVIST

Yeah, alright.

##### [FAINT STATIC]

No, not really. She *was* here, but the corridors of this place are... Rushing isn't going to close the distance faster. It's more about *how* we choose to move through these domains rather than our speed.

#### BASIRA

What does *that* mean?

#### MARTIN

I've been with him the whole way and I still don't know.

#### ARCHIVIST

It means we'll reach her quicker if you stop tearing off, and let me concentrate on finding a proper path through this place.

#### MARTIN

Yeah, speaking of, where actually are we, anyway? I mean, I'm happy to be out of the woods, but --

#### ARCHIVIST

Wonderland House. A, uh... mental 'health' facility.

#### MARTIN

Oh. Oh dear.

#### ARCHIVIST

Mmhm.

Right. Daisy. Give me a moment.

##### [LOUDER STATIC]

#### BASIRA

So... Did you actually walk all the way down here from Scotland?

#### MARTIN

Kind of. Scotland's not really a thing anymore. 

#### BASIRA

Huh. London's still there. Sort of.

#### MARTIN

Yeah, that's where we're heading. Eventually. 

He's been destroying other avatars on the way.

#### BASIRA

Oh. That's... good, I guess. How's he doing it?

#### MARTIN

He's getting the Eye to, like... like, look at them? H-He just kind of drinks up all their fear and they, uh, they just sort of... implode?

#### BASIRA

Sounds satisfying.

#### MARTIN

Yeah. Not sure how much good it does, though. And one of them was a kid.

#### BASIRA

John killed a kid?

#### MARTIN

What? No. No! No, I just mean, one of the avatars we saw was, like, thirteen or so.

#### BASIRA

That's messed up.

#### MARTIN

Yeah. We had to let him go, 'cause... well, I mean...

#### BASIRA

Yeah. 

#### MARTIN

Yeah.

#### BASIRA

...

What's it like? Being with someone who can see the inside of your head?

#### MARTIN

Hm? Oh. Oh no, he doesn't. I told him not to, and so he tries to... look away.

#### BASIRA

And you trust him to do that.

#### MARTIN

_[Certain]_ Yes. I do.

#### BASIRA

...

So what's your plan?

#### MARTIN

Long term? Elias. He's up in that... Panopticon tower thing.

#### BASIRA

Figured as much. What's he up to?

#### MARTIN

John doesn't know. He says it's a 'blind spot'.

#### BASIRA

A blind spot.

#### MARTIN

A-Apparently.

#### BASIRA

Convenient. What about Melanie?

#### MARTIN

He's... not sure about her either. He can't see her or Georgie.

#### BASIRA

Dead, then.

##### [STATIC FADES]

#### ARCHIVIST

No. Not dead. Just hidden somehow.

#### BASIRA

Back with us, then?

#### ARCHIVIST

I know the route. Come on.

##### [FOOTSTEPS START AGAIN]

It... will take us past Daisy's victim, though.

#### MARTIN

Victim?

#### BASIRA

She's been killing.

#### MARTIN

What? No, no, that can't be right. I thought people weren't even allowed to die any more.

#### ARCHIVIST

Not permanently, but... Ah.

##### [FOOTSTEPS STOP]

#### BASIRA

What is it?

#### MARTIN

Really? *Now*?

#### ARCHIVIST

I'll try to be quick.

#### BASIRA

What's going on?

#### MARTIN

It's, it... he needs to make a statement.

#### BASIRA

Is that like a euphemism or...?

#### MARTIN

Ew, no! It's... um, he sort of describes the place he's in to the recorder and... Look it's, it's magic Eye stuff. He can't help it. He needs to do it and if he doesn't...

#### BASIRA

He gets constipated?

#### ARCHIVIST

Hardly!

#### MARTIN

Actually, yeah, basically.

#### BASIRA

Right.

#### ARCHIVIST

Look if you can both just give me some space, I'd appreciate it.

#### MARTIN

Fine. I'll keep lookout.

##### [MARTIN MOVES AWAY]

#### BASIRA

No. If it's information about this domain, I think I'd better hear it.

#### ARCHIVIST

_[Sighingly]_ If you say so...

##### [STATIC RISES]

#### ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

##### [FOOTSTEPS, A TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hi. How are we doing? You can call me Doctor David. I'll be here to help you out for the duration of your stay with us. Do you have a name? Hm. Hm. Well, I'm afraid I'll have to disagree with you there. That's not your name at all. 

Now don't get agitated, I'm sure we'll get there. Names are... tricky. You know how long it took me to realise I was Doctor David? I mean, neither do I, to be perfectly honest, but the point is names can take a while. And we'll be here to support you every step of the way.

Hm? Oh, didn't they tell you when you were signed in? Not to worry, these things slip my mind as well sometimes. You're in Wonderland House. We're a small residential mental health facility here to help people like *you* come to their senses. And to protect the world from all your self-indulgent nonsense in the meantime.

I can, I assure you. I'm your doctor. Doctor David. I'm here to help you, to treat you, to make it so you're less of a... burden to everyone. And until I'm satisfied that we've reached that point, well, there's plenty here to keep you comfortable. Because obviously, it wouldn't be responsible of us to let you out into general society. Not in your *current* state. Hm? No, of course it's not just them. We're here to help you. *You're* the biggest victim of... whatever little game you're playing here. And we know just how to help you.

Please do try not to get so agitated. I understand, it's a distressing time, but there's really nothing to be gained from... acting out. There are no windows to escape through, all the --

##### [SOUND OF CHAIR ROCKING]

Yes, as I was saying, all the furniture is very firmly bolted down, and honestly you're only going to hurt yoursel--

##### [SOMETHING SNAPS]

Hm. I see. Violence, then, is it? Oh, I assure you there is no way to hurt me. Nothing you could say or do could cause me even a moment's inconvenience. Your anger is... pointless. Meaningless. Look, see? The only thing you've managed to hurt is your own hand. Now, are we finally in a position to listen to Doctor David, you... meaningless little brat? Good.

Now, I believe it's time for your medication.

##### [PILLS RATTLE]

Oh, no, that stuff you were on before? Mm, garbage. No, I've torn up your prescription for that. It was... poison, I assure you, warping your mind. No, I think we have something far better here.

##### [PILLS RATTLE]

Go on, take it.

##### [PILL BOTTLE IS PLACED DOWN]

Take it.

Or do I have to get some orderlies to help you?

##### [LIQUID SWALLOWING; CUP IS PLACED DOWN]

There you go. Down the hatch. I wonder what it was? Certainly it looked a pretty appealing colour in the medicine cabinet, but you never can tell with these things. Oh, there you go. Well, sweet dreams, I suppose.

Do try to wake up sane.

##### [EXIT WITH CREEPY LAUGH]

##### [DOOR NOISES PLUS FOOTSTEPS]

Ah, awake at last, are we? Excellent. Allow me to introduce myself. Call me Doctor David. And you might be? No, I just like to greet all our new arrivals in person and I would like your name, if possible. Okay, well, I don't think that's how it's pronounced, but... if that's what you'd like me to call you, then I suppose I can do you that favour.

Hm? No, I'm pretty sure I would remember.

No, I'm the only Doctor David on staff at Wonderland House. Goodness can you imagine the coincidence if there were two of us. Hah! Hardly bears thinking about. But no, I'm the only one here. Fact of the matter is, I'm the only doctor on staff. Most days it's just me and the orderlies. No-one else around for miles.

You're sure? Well, that is *very* strange. Would you mind describing this 'other' Doctor David. Mmhm? Mmhm? Oh, did he now? Well isn't that fascinating.

Right, well, I think I'm starting to see what might be going on here and, let me assure you, it isn't going to work. Oh, I know, I know, I know. It's just that we have no patience here for your ridiculous lies. Seeing things? Phantom doctors? You really think I'm that much of an idiot? You concoct some half-baked little hallucination, and suddenly I'm stamping 'crazy' on your forehead? I'm dreadfully sorry to disappoint you, but that's not how things work here.

Oh, other doctors did, did they? Mm. Well, that sounds reasonable, let me just have a look at your case file here, a gander at the old medical history. Medication, diagnosis, medication, oooh, hospitalisation. Hm. 

Trouble is it's all lies, isn't it? Because I'm your doctor now, Doctor David, and I say these people, these 'professionals', had no idea what they're talking about because, well, I understand what they simply didn't.

You made it all up, didn't you?

What was it? A plea for attention, trying so desperately to make the world notice you? Some *childish* attempt to feel special? Or were you just looking for an excuse for the fact that you're a lazy, unlikeable waste of air?

'Paranoia', hm, it's big word, isn't it? A *big* excuse. Because here's the interesting thing: you are completely sane and rational. Everyone legitimately *does* hate you. It's not your brain making up lies, don't be stupid. No, you're just a horribly unpleasant person to be around. You make people uncomfortable. You never say the right thing. You somehow always manage to smell bad.

No wonder people talk about you behind your back. Even I hate you, and I'm responsible for your treatment. Isn't that funny?

##### [MIRTHLESS CHUCKLE]

Hm? Oh, I'm sure you would like some medication. Yes, I'm sure you would. That chemical safety blanket whispering to you 'Oh don't worry you're just mad. You don't need to take responsibility for anything.' You'll get none of that nonsense here. No. We'll teach you to stand on your own two feet. And we have all the time in the world to do so. 

##### [FOOTSTEPS, THEN DOOR SOUNDS]

Good night.

##### [DOOR SOUNDS, FOOTSTEPS. THE DISTANT SOUND OF SCREAMS]

Ah, good morning. How are we feeling today? Hm? Oh, no it's just me. Call me Doctor David. No, I'm pretty sure I've always had this face.

Oh, I see, another of your lies, is it, as though I haven't heard enough of them in the, what, five years I've been treating you now. No matter. Yes, five years, can we please not start that again? 

Did you sleep well? Hm? Well, that makes sense I suppose. Nightmares are to be expected from a mind like yours.

Ooh, monsters, you say? You must have gotten a look at Brian the orderly.

##### [MIRTHLESS, SOMEWHAT MANIC, CHUCKLING]

I joke, of course. You seem fine, though, so I'm sure whatever that silly little imagination of yours concocted, it can't have been all *that* bad.

Oh, yes? More 'hallucinations'? Hm, well, you can describe them to me if you like, I'm certain they're quite horrible. But on other hand, they didn't happen, you're lying, and everyone wishes you'd just stop making a fuss. You remember your mother, what you made her do because you just couldn't be bothered to pull yourself together?

Yes, of course it was your fault, we've been over this quite extensively in our earlier sessions. Or are you still pretending not to remember?

I really wish you'd stop saying that. We don't really like the word 'mad' in Wonderland House. Because you're not. You never have been. You just need to... Oh do calm down you hysterical little creep. Throwing another tantrum will get you nowhere here.

##### [SOUNDS OF MOVEMENT, SOMETHING FALLING]

Oh violence, is it? Very original. Just do be careful not to --

##### [SOUNDS OF MOTION, A SCUFFLE, THEN FLESH PEELING]

##### [DRIPPING NOISES]

Well, I hope you're happy. Well, what did you expect to be under my face? You really should stop screaming, you're only upsetting yourself. Of course it's real, it's absolutely real. I've told you, you're quite sane. You just need to admit it, and then we can get on with things.

No rush, though, like I say. We have all the time in the world. And good old Doctor David isn't going anywhere.

##### [STATIC SOUNDS]

##### [DEEP EXHALATION]

#### ARCHIVIST

Satisfied?

#### BASIRA

Fuck.

##### [CLICK]


------


##### [CLICK]

##### [FOOTSTEPS ECHO IN A CORRIDOR, TINNY MUZAK PLAYS FAINTLY]

#### BASIRA

No, I get that bit, it's just... So the guy *was* mad, or...?

#### ARCHIVIST

No, it -- it... I mean, yes. It's sort of, like... gaslighting, but in reverse. This place, it's built on the fear that your mental health problems aren't actually real.

#### BASIRA

Wouldn't that be a good thing?

#### ARCHIVIST

N-No... I'm not explaining it very well. Uh, it's... It's the worry that everything is, is awful, and it's actually your fault. Th-That you made it up? Um... that you're...

#### BASIRA

What?

#### ARCHIVIST

Bad therapists. Let's just say it's the fear of bad therapists, filtered through The Spiral.

#### BASIRA

That's... a lot more nuanced than I've gotten used to since everything went wrong.

#### ARCHIVIST

Yes, well, The Spiral is nothing if not insidious.

#### MARTIN

_[Nervously]_ Uh... Is that door meant to be open? And... dripping blood.

#### ARCHIVIST

We're here.

##### [DOOR CREAKS]

#### MARTIN

Oh, Jesus.

#### ARCHIVIST

Yes. Horrible way to go.

#### BASIRA

You're sure this is Daisy's handiwork?

#### ARCHIVIST

Positive. She'd been prowling around for a long time, waiting for a gap in the 'treatments' And when she got one, she carved through the door like it was paper. He tried to run, but she was so fast. She took his legs first, slicing through the tendons so that he could --

#### BASIRA

Enough. We get it.

...

Let's go, then.

#### MARTIN

Wait, what? That's it?

#### BASIRA

What else is there?

#### MARTIN

Seriously? I mean, who *is* this guy? Daisy slaughters someone, and you don't even want to know why? You... What, you don't care?

#### BASIRA

_[Uncomfortably]_ We don't have time.

#### ARCHIVIST

...

I could tell you.

#### BASIRA

Don't bother. I know who he is.

#### MARTIN

What?

#### BASIRA

_[Sigh]_ Noah Thomson. Nasty piece of work. Crossed him a few times when we weren't doing sectioned work. Last I heard he'd dodged a GBH charge Daisy brought him in on. Blinded a guy during a robbery. I guess she didn't forget.

#### MARTIN

Wait, wait... so... so, she's hunting down criminals? People who she thinks got away with stuff?

#### BASIRA

...

Sure.

#### ARCHIVIST

Really? As simple as that?

#### BASIRA

What's your point?

#### ARCHIVIST

What, you think he ended up in Wonderland House at random? We're just going to ignore it, and write him off as a 'nasty piece of work'?

#### BASIRA

We don't have *time* for this.

#### ARCHIVIST

Then we should make time. You want to hear how he ended up blinding that man? Because it wasn't a robbery. He was running away from Daisy, lashing out in a panic. The court believed it. But *you* believed *her*...

#### BASIRA

_[Angry]_ I told you not to look in my head!

#### ARCHIVIST

I didn't. And I won't. But you can't hunt a monster that you refuse to see.

##### [TENSE SILENCE]

##### [SOUND OF AN ELEVATOR ARRIVING WITH A SUDDEN 'BING']

##### [MARTIN JUMPS]

#### HELEN

Not interrupting anything, Am I?

#### MARTIN

Christ, Helen, you scared the life out of me.

#### HELEN

_[Insincere]_ Sorry, darling.

#### ARCHIVIST

Not now, Helen.

#### HELEN

I'm sorry to butt in, but I was paying a visit to dear old Doctor David. You know, this place goes through nurses at an *alarming* rate, and I couldn't help but overhear your little problem.

#### BASIRA

Really don't need your opinion on this.

#### HELEN

Good to see you, too, Basira. You're looking well. And don't worry, I've no interest in your little ethical wobbles. No, I mean your issue with a certain feral runaway. I can help you, if you'd like.

#### ARCHIVIST

No, thank you.

#### BASIRA

What sort of help?

#### ARCHIVIST

You can't be serious...

#### HELEN

See, John, this is what I like to see! A proactive attitude, keen to work together. Someone really living their best apocalypse.

#### BASIRA

I asked you a question.

#### HELEN

You did, didn't you? I can offer a shortcut. Take you right to that murder machine you call a partner.

#### MARTIN

Basira, John can't go through Helen's doors. We couldn't come with you. 

#### HELEN

Basira is a strong, independent woman. She doesn't need you two holding her hand.  Anyway, it'll be dead quick. Two minutes, door-to-door, quick shot to the back of Daisy's head, and we'll be home before you know it.

#### ARCHIVIST

...

You just heard what The Spiral does to people. You can't trust her.

#### HELEN

Nonsense! Martin can vouch for me. You and... what's-his-name went through Michael's door, right? And he was rubbish compared to me.

#### MARTIN

We were in there for two weeks.

#### HELEN

Exactly! And you're just fine! Better than fine! Flourishing!

#### MARTIN

You really don't care, do you?

#### HELEN

Alright, be like that. Under new management, anyway. So what's it going to be Basira darling? Quick and easy?

Or are you looking to take the long way round as a third wheel?

#### BASIRA

...

I'll stick with the guys, thanks.

##### [DISAPPOINTED NOISE]

#### HELEN

Such a shame. And here I thought *you* were actually going to follow through. Ah well, good luck. And do give my best to Daisy. If you ever *do* find her.

#### BASIRA

You done?

#### HELEN

Oh, John? Not to sound like a squeaky hinge, but do try to lighten up. Don't get me wrong, the brooding thing's a good look on you, but it is starting to get a bit tired. Especially now you've got someone else to do the intense, driven thing. I think you might need to get a new schtick.

#### ARCHIVIST

_[Sarcastic]_ Thank you for the feedback. I'll try to bear it in mind.

#### HELEN

It's all I ask! Anyway, I should be off. Don't want to be late for rounds. Ciao!

##### [FOOTSTEPS HEAD OFF]

#### MARTIN

Is it me or is she getting worse? I think I preferred it when she wasn't quite so... I don't know... Chummy?

#### ARCHIVIST

What? You thought the end of the world would bring out the best in her?

#### MARTIN

Hmm.

#### BASIRA

*Now,* can we just *go*?

#### ARCHIVIST

Sure. This way.

##### [CLICK]