what's your favorite and least favorite chess piece, and why?
Favourite: Pawn
Least favourite: Bishops
The pawns need to rise up and overthrow the shackles of their oppressors and I am here for them.
The bishops are clearly collaborating, carefully making sure to stay out of one another’s way, bullshit market manipulators.
Fuck Marry Kill with the Protocol characters ? This does include Mr Bonzo as a bear and not a twink.
Why on earth would I want to engage in sexual intercourse with every Magnus Protocol character then immediately marry them only to immediately end their lives?
Getting married involves so much paperwork and then having to act as next of kin executor for so many people simultaneously? Never mind the tax implications!
No I think I’ll just stick to killing thanks.
Have you ever given any thought to the “what does John collect in his free time” question? I’ve heard chess pieces, stamps, etc., but I was wondering if you had any silly interjections on this topic.
Barbie dolls, perhaps?
John collects scars.
I sent this question to Jonny too, but just in case he doesn't answer - I'm currently in the process of copying the entire first episode of TMA into a minecraft book to hide in a box in the infinite underground labyrinth I'm surprising my friend with. in doing so, I've encountered a problem - the game censors every mention of alcohol and cigarettes. any ideas for replacement words I can use to "kidzbopify the anglerfish", as it were?
Alcohol = happy juice, orphan’s tears, squeeze, liquid luck, liquid loss, that which inebriates, fool’s nectar, glutton’s bane, cool guy juice, splosh.
Cigarettes = death sticks, tobacco tubes, bonzos, that which burns, filter friends, lung drops, minor’s mistake, ciggydiggydoodaadanglestrips.
The two fears everyone is born with are fear of falling (Vast) and fear of loud noises, which fear/fears do you think it goes under?
I wonder if it is the dark since ultimately the fear is that of the unknown because everything is unknown at that age.
Hi Alex, which Magnus characters do you think would thrive in Night Vale?
Most of them really. It’s a pretty wholesome place to live as long as you don’t go near the dog park.
Hi Alex! Really enjoyed episode 20, wondering if the feelings on parasocial relationships were somewhat autobiographical? It’s always an interesting and relevant topic in our world. Thanks ☺️
So that case was actually primarily written by Jonny with me as Editor. The character was always going to be engaging with that side of modern culture and I can’t speak for Jonny but it’s definitely not autobiographical at my end. I’ve said before, I am more afraid of the cruelty of modern fandoms and influencers than I am empowered by it. At best I could maybe argue I have more of an insight than your average joe but that’s not saying much.
Hiya bossman! I just started my very long stay in London, and I was wondering if you had any “Alex’s Favorite London Treats” tips or any cool spots you know of to check out. I need to find some cool things to do!! Preferably not tacky tourism stuff because I am better than that (but will probably be forced to do so eventually).
Here are some suggestions for things I have either done, or always wanted to:
> The Vault
> Archery Tag at Canada Water
> labyrinth larp (Chislehurst Caves)
> Highgate Cemetary
> Crossness Pumping Station
> The Hunterian Museum
> Wellcome Collection
> London Postal Museum
> St. Dunstan in-the-east (filmed there before)
> Leadenhall Market (during holidays)
> Camden Stables (the deepest bit)
> Cyberdog
> The Salt Tower (Tower of London)
> Gordon’s Wine Bar
Bonus points:
There is a secret abandoned ghost train underneath/beside the Tower of London that is not open to the public due to being super dangerous. Good luck being granted access but it’s particularly creepy if you are into that kind of thing.
Hello!
I am a giant nerd who keeps podcasts in a spreadsheet and know many other nerds who keep podcasts in a spreadsheet so my question to you is: do you keep your to-listens and listened-tos in a spreadsheet? If so, do you have a favorite spreadsheet function?
Have a lovely day, good sir!
PS my favorite part is conditional formatting and I am happy to provide screenshots if requested
I do not really keep reading lists of any kind anymore. They always grow too fast and make me feel bad.
That said, conditional formatting is the superior option and I will brook no counter arguments on the matter.
hey! so a few months back I've gotten really into tma and tmagp (and I absolutely love it, great work), but there's one "but": I wanted to get my friends into it too, but our first language isn't english. the solution found itself in a face of little group of like 4 people that, for the fun of it, translate both podcasts (I am one of them now)
so my question is: are you okay with such stuff? and what are your thoughts on people translating tma/tmagp into other languages (in our case it's russian)? also we don't claim the work to be ours and leave the credits for original, and we don't get any money from it too.
Glad you like it and thankyou for being respectful and asking! This is a good example of the kind of question best directed to mail@rustyquill.com they will get back to you on stuff like this faster than I ever could.
Would you rather fight a dozen chicken sized horses or 3 horse sized chickens?
You do get 30 mins of prep time but so do your opponentz
Anyone who does not select the chicken sized horses has never been on a farm.
1) horses are cowards and making them smaller will only make that more pronounced. They might actually. Be scared to death.
2) Chickens are psychotic micro-raptors who live only for destruction. To grant them such size is madness and to fight then is hubris. Flee, flee the feathered ones for their talons are as quick as their tempers.
so two questions, one is serious you have to guess which is which
So I don’t play MMOS.
Back in the day I played Runescape then Guild Wars which I enjoyed.
I quit them due to poor impulse control and losing a lot of time to them.
I have tried to go back to them a few times but I bounce off them now. They all feel very grindy to me.
I do however adore Balder’s Gate 3 with friends.
If you are inclined to answer, what are some good things to know about farm animal behavior?
I live in bear country, so if you ever visit the American west, here is my tip:
Black bears are pretty chill unless you do something profoundly stupid. That being said, if you ever see a BABY black bear, gtfo IMMEDIATELY.
Anyways thank you for your time, big fan of your work!
Cows are a lot more dangerous than you think and sheep can be really aggressive if they want to be. Cats are actually useful on a farm and sheep dogs are the most amazing animals you will ever see working.
hey king what brand of tea do u drink
Just hot water for me thanks.
Hi Alex!
So I run these ghost story periods at the summer camp I work at. Last time I read Do Not Open (with a few tweaks because kids) and the cabin was not impressed (no taste ig). What statement would you reccomend for 10-13 year olds for ghost stories?
Yeah not surprised Do Not Open didn’t work. That one is a subversion of the payoff people have come to expect from horror. At 10-13 I think you are still interested in a standard payoff.
My guess is you’ll want something a bit more more direct, more visceral with a stronger sting in the end that doesn’t require context.
Maybe something from S5 Mag?
So did you grow up on a farm or just sorta in farm country?
If you did, what sort of farm was it animal/production-wise?
American here, so not sure if farming setups are different in the UK then they are here, hence my curiosity
I grew up in farm country but am not a farm kid myself. Generally speaking farms in the UK are either much smaller than in the US or the land is still owned by a Lord. (which is a whole thing)
Which fear would you recommend licking?
The Extinction. I think we need to get that licked as soon as possible.
Hi Alex, saw the livestream got cancelled, hope you’re doing ok!
I was wondering- did you and Jonny meet in a civil service job, or private sector? Because there’s a lot in protocol that’s very accurate. (Just started a CS job). Of course this could just be your sterling research skills, but even in archives I wondered if there was direct experience informing the fiction.
Though, theres a lot of overlap in dumb jargon for private and CS. I will absolutely punch a hole in my computer if Lena tells Gwen she has to engage in agile thinking 😒
thanks for your time 🙂
So the O.I.A.R. is entirely based on the jobs that Jonny and I held when we first met. It was private sector but all of it, the weird job interview, the ancient computers, the unnecessary night work, even the location of the offices is all pretty damn accurate. The only difference is that what we had to summarise, whilst still horrifying, was much more late-stage capitalism horror stories than murderous puppets or whatever.
In terms of civil service stuff, I do my research and know plenty of people who work there.
Weirdly enough I suppose that means that if I was Sam (since I joined later) and Jonny was Alice (in that he was weirdly acclimatised already) that would mean that Sam and Alice both quit to make horror podcasts about their time at… oh god. I’ve gone all recursive.
howdy! u have to sing an entire song from start to finish, no mistakes, no cop out songs (like the alphabet, twinkle twinkle little star) - what do u pick?
The Millionaire by Dr. Hook.
My dad would play their “completely Hooked” album every morning to the point I am word perfect on every song:
(Bet you weren’t expecting that!)
referring to tmagp 17, out of sheer curiosity, what the absolute hell does darrien mean by ‘stroking orchids’. is that literal or am i missing something
You don’t stroke orchids?
You should try it.
You are turned into a bird. What kind do you become? Do you deliver wisdom, collect shiny things, swoop people or just hop around hoping that people drop breadcrumbs?
An enormous, overly intelligent Raven who turns up as an incredibly ominous omen at inappropriate moments.
Toddler’s Birthday party?
Raven Me: “Beware!”
Got that big promotion?
Raven Me: “Beware!”
On a first date?
Raven Me: “Beware!”
Hey, Alex! Hope you’re feeling better today.
I notice you use “y’all” (and correctly!) and as a US southerner I wondered where you might have picked that up?
Now, if you start saying “bless your heart” we might need to talk…
Well howdy! And bless your heart for the compliment!
Picked it up from our head of Production April Sumner who was Texan born-an-raised but moved to merry old England.
She eventually tuckered me out on it and rather than pitch a hissy fit I just had to git. Might could I seem all hat no cattle using it but dadgumit, life’s just too short for all that hollarin and fussin.
Anyway, y'all have a good day now y'hear?
Is TMAGP having a hiatus or something? Because it's friday and ep 21 still hasn't come out yet.
Yes.
Protocol will have a short hiatus every 10 episodes with a longer one between seasons that has bonus content in it. This is to avoid production crunch for the team whilst also giving our other show Neon Inkwell the care and attention it needs.
Afraid I am not in charge of such announcements any more so can’t speak to when and where it has been said.
The only time I‘ve ever seen a cow is when I went to my family’s cow farm in Munkwolstrup when I was four so forgive me if I‘m being crass, but what do you mean by „cows are more dangerous than they seem“
It’s incredibly ominous to say the least, considering I‘m already scared of horses.
So as with most dangerous animals, it’s often human error.
Thanks to selective breeding, domestic cows are very, VERY strong and hearding them mostly involves convincing them they are weak when in fact they can easily stomp you.
Now imagine you are a mummy cow and someone is walking through your field with an uncontrolled dog harassing your child. You try to warn it away and the owner comes over to intervene. Finally you push them both away only to discover you are as strong as the hulk and didn’t realise.
Accidents happen.
Not casting aspersions or anything it’s just as with anything, you are taking a risk when you don’t treat something with respect.
Hey Alex, any favorite dnd classes/advice on what class I should play? I get to play for the first time in ages next week but I'm getting decision paralysis about my character--they'll probably be a tiefling, but I don't know after that.
You seriously do not want to play the kind of builds I come up with. I tend to make what I call Novelty Pocketwatch characters: expensive and mechanically complicated with a weak comedic payoff.
For instance, my first instinct is a shadow monk /lore bard multiclass. A socially anxious skill hoarder who can solve any situation but hates being observed doing so.
See what I mean?
hi alex!! me and my cat tim salami (first name tim, middle name salami) are curious: what is the objectively best and/or worst pet name you've ever encountered?
one of the best i've seen is pingle for a cat.
worst is the many, many dogs that share a name with me. it's exhausting
Huh, I have never met a pet with the name Snazzfest before.
For me best I ran into was Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin out hiking:
“Sam would you leave Frodo alone for two minutes! Don’t you start Merry, you’re as bad an influence as Pippin!”
Worst:
Dog called dog. Why on earth did they not call him cat? It was right there as the objectively better option?
In a world where one of the archive staff members of TMA was bitten by a radioactive spider and became spider-man, which character do you think would best fill the role?
Rosie. No one would guess and that’s half the role of the webslinger.