May 2025

After the most recent episode of protocol where Henrich wanted to learn about computer games to scare kids more effectively it got me thinking, is Herobrine the Minecraft creepypasta canon to the magnus verse like just as an entity??? Sorry that sounds so silly but the idea of game creepypasta being a real is so interesting to me so thought I'd ask!

Huh wasn’t aware of Herobrine as a thing. (Just did a cursory Google).

It certainly compatible with Protocol although if someone pitched it my first response would be “not creepy enough.”

I suspect @jonnywaistcoat’s response would be “too dry. Needs wet.”

Fun fact: I actually played minecraft’s beta before it even had a surface. I found that quite existentially creepy.

one of ceaseless protocol questions in your inbox i’m sure of it, and one that you may very well have already addressed, but nonetheless-

i’ve noticed that augustus, norris, and chester, the disembodied voices of fr3-d1, always start reading the cases in the artificial monotone the world has generally come to expect from computers imitating sentience (or… whatever it is fr3-d1’s doing. don’t know that i can comfortably call it sentient yet, but it’s certainly not pretending either. i digress), before gradually mounting into the dramatic readings as if the voices are coming from the people in the cases themselves, then towards the very end, fall back into that robotic, droning tone of voice.

is this, as i suspect, an intentional choice in the direction of the show, or just a well placed coincidence?


(also, we’ve reached a grand total of two separate characters you’ve voiced that become trapped in a room and are forced to rely on peaches to survive. insert that one doofenshmirtz quote about nickels)

1) Yes, intentional. (In fact @jonnywaistcoat has been told off before now for forgetting to do it.)
2) I genuinely believe the double peaches reference is a coincidence since the case was written without the writer knowing who would voice it! (fun coincidence though innit?)

Hello,

I am embroidering a pair of jeans because I want to and I needed to repair them, I’d like to add a quote from the Magnus archives, any recommendations (preferably without swears since I volunteer at girlguiding and I don’t want to be kicked out because a 7 year old learns the word fuck from my trousers)

  1. “Ceasless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing”
  2.  "I refuse to become another goddamn mystery.“
  3. "I spy with my little eye… Literally everything.”
  4. “the sky… it’s looking back”
  5. “I have done my duty, and none may ask more of me. I am proud of the work we have done, and it has been an honour to do it alongside you.“
  6. “I could be on drugs!”
  7. "As I was going up the stair
    I met a man who wasn’t there
    He wasn’t there again today
    Oh how I wish he’d go away
  8. "I try to think of life as a pleasant holiday from non-existence”

I made a patch that says "Ceaseless Watcher, I want that Twink Obliterated." I still haven't decided who this is referring to and was wondering if you had any recommendations? (Also if you dont feel comfy dubbing one of your characters a twink, I understand.)

Easy.
Boneturner.
Because he’d hate it.

my boyfriend started listening to TMA because of me, what should i pruposely mislead him into believing is canon?

At no point in the show is it established that all the characters aren’t muppets. Just saying.

Hello! I just finished listening to MAG 186 - Quiet for the first time, and I had a question about the production of it.

Did you record the lines for both Martins in one go (switching off characters), or did you record them separately and then edit them together?

Been asked this a few times so to clarify:

I recorded both Martin’s together bouncing back and forth between them.

But I did multiple takes to choose between.

Solo duologs is an odd skill I picked up from teaching Improv back in the day.

hi hi! so i watched a video on youtube last night and i was juuuuuust wondering- simon fairchild isnt named after the plane that crashed in the andes mountains… is he? crazy coincidence or was that on purpose?

Technically an @jonnywaistcoat question so my word is not gospel but I feel safe in guessing “no he isn’t named after an airline disaster that would be ludicrous.”

I was thinking about the absolute carnage of towerfall - you were in a plane before, you’re dead; you were on a train or you were in a car travelling 60mph, you’re dead (assuming people are back where they started and travelling the same speed as they were before the Event) - like yeah, utter bloody chaos because the implication is everything (planet included) moved for 6 months but the humans are dropped into the exact latitude and longitude that they were before (consistent velocity to be confirmed) - every road is a pile-up, there are plane crashes everywhere, everyone is ✨horrifically✨ traumatised✨ (the bleakness is so wonderful, I adore it)

I asked before about how Jonny nearly killed billions of people - surely it must’ve been something regarding the consequences of towerfall? Did he want the people to be dropped back into the space they were in (sans planet)?

please do tell 😆

I FINALLY get to tell this story! Yay!

Enormous Protocol and Archives Spoliers READER BEWARE:

Firstly, you should know that whilst @jonnywaistcoat is a big ideas guy, I am normally the one who ends up going off and actually figuring out how things work in the real world. I’m always ending up saying something like “sure that’s creepy but that’s not how steam trains work. You need to account for the Stephensen Regulator” etc.

This means that when @jonnywaistcoat had thoughts as to how Towerfall worked in early Protocol drafts, I was the one who had to try and make it work. We both wanted to make sure that people could begin to rebuild in a meaningful way rather than going full Mad Max but unfortunately I quickly realised that almost every instinct @jonnywaistcoat had for cataclysms generally lead to the irrecoverable collapse of civilisation and death of basically everyone.

For instance, we both felt that the actual Hellscape could have lasted longer (in the order of months, not weeks) but no matter how I tried to bend things to fit that timeline, the truth is that human built infrastructure does not recover well from that length of absence. (at least, not in a way that doesn’t kill most people from pestilence, starvation and associated wars.) So we had to make it a bit shorter and thankfully we’d already established there was time dilation at play in Archives. (We actually even experimented with it only lasting 1 day but we both decided that wouldn’t hurt enough.)

The worst case of this kind of logistical horror however, was about locations. @jonnywaistcoatwas was really enamoured with the idea that everyone would arrive back, not where they had left, but instead clumped according to their fears. I.e. Everyone in the Arachnophobic domain turns up in Australia together, everyone in the Nyctophobic domain turns up in Antarctica etc. so I dutifully went away and ran the numbers and no matter how I tackled it I kept coming to the conclusion that this pretty much kills everyone in less than a week due to the massive logistical collapse it causes.
(There’s actually a really great examination of this on XKCD)

Now don’t get me wrong, I was all for getting stuck-in telling the story of the bleakest logistical collapse possible but to quote Jonny “that sounds pretty grim and not in a fun way” so in the end we opted to return people where they left (albeit compensating for planetary movement so that we wouldn’t accidentally extinct everyone in the most unsatisfying way imaginable).

So there you have it. Technically, technically I saved the world including all your favourite characters from @jonnywaistcoat’s insatiable bloodlust.

You’re welcome.

do you think “Hotel California” falls under the domain of the Spiral?

Congrats. This question has itched my brain.

Having reviewed the lyrics, yes. Yes I do.

Hello Mr Bossman, will cosplays be welcome at the Hilltop Live Show?

Hey, this is another question that should really be addressed to mail@rustyquill.com since its about a company stance, that said I can give a personal take that does NOT constitute a formal reply:

“within reason”

This is theatre NOT cinema, and there are some things I could see being an issue:
1) Avoid bulky stuff that will get in the way. British Theatre seating does not leave much elbow room.
2) Avoid distracting stuff, it’s a theatre show so drawing focus is gonna distract the performers and the audience
3) Avoid stuff that will interfere with the show. No lights, no sounds, no shiny bits, no moving parts,
4) Avoid heavy, hot and impractical clothes. You’re gonna be sat quietly in a crowd for hours.

TLDR: I don’t personally have any moral objections or anything but just be respectful of cast, crew and audience. Its a theatre show after all, not a convention.

P.S. That does not mean I am saying you need to wear formal wear! Don’t get me wrong, if you want to, please feel free but it is not a requirement or anything!

if you could give michael distortion any haircut what would you give him

6 mile long irregular backcombing/teasing.

I want those corridors full of hair.

(Don’t forget this character was the reference we used as an anchor for the performer)