You’ve listened to (part of) Welcome to Night Vale!!!! Who was your favourite character? Did you have a favourite episode or plot bit?

If I am honest, probably episode 1. It’s just such a strong opener. That said: All hail the glow cloud

Hi Alex! What's your glasses prescription?

Interestingly I don’t wear glasses any more. It turned out I was part of a very small and lucky number of people who’s eyesight improved in their late twenties. (some kind of growth thing). I will need them again soon but it was a nice reprieve :)

Hello. I would like to say your horror is indeed moist. I wonder what other words you'd use to describe it?

I’ve been told mine is “brutal” and “cruel” which makes sense, I am a bit misanthropic.

Hey Alex

Kind of a random question but

Have you ever dyed your hair and/or would you want to do it? (With like a natural colour or bright colours etc.)

I used to have blue hair, had a lot of piercings and habitually wore a My Chemical Romance Jacket. (I hadn’t even heard their music, I just thought it looked neat.)

I actually might be adding colour again soon but only for a day this time. I still have to look like a grownup for business stuff, blerg.

what is something you think more people should know about?

So much.

First thing that comes to mind though is the hierarchy of information. I think the world would be a better places if we prioritised wisdom over intelligence.

Hello, Alex!

I'm new-ish to the TMA universe, so I apologize if you've answered this one twenty times already.

I was recently re-listening to Ep. 118 The Masquerade, and I wondered if you would talk a bit about how you approach directing scenes in which you're also performing, especially really visceral ones like the one between Elias and Martin?

Thank you!

It’s quite annoying really. it’s easier these days since I have more help so producers and editors can call me up on stuff. Mostly it was just a case of going by feel. If it felt wrong then I need to figure out if it was me or someone else and go from there. Truthfully though I never really developed a system beyond “really pay attention” which isn’t great advice really.

if people aren't people, are there any beings that are?

Probably not. At risk of getting to “real” on here, I often suspect that consciousness is a mirage and that even if it is real it is so fleeting that it is not our default sate of being. So in a lot of ways the idea of a person is kinda meaningless philosophically speaking.

That said I am not one of those hardliners who thinks this justifies not treating everyone like people. In fact I am sort of the opposite, if it quacks like a duck and swims like a duck, I act like it’s a duck because generally speaking you’re on the wrong side of history when you decide something doesn’t deserve kindness.

[Braces himself for the 100s of comments explaining how wrong and ignorant his half-baked take on existentialism is]

Is there ever a possibility for your/rusty quill’s work to be adapted into different mediums, or is it a hard “no, we won’t be doing this”?

I mean sure there is a possibility but it’s much harder than you think and ultimately isn’t really up to me. When adapting to a new medium it’s on the people already in that medium to open the door for you. It’s nigh impossible to do without someone giving you a helping hand. We’ll keep trying though because we think it would be cool but I wouldn’t hold your breath or anything.

Do prime numbers still function as primes in any base?

Yes but you should really be doing your homework yourself. It’s the only way you’ll learn.

Hi Alex! If you had to pick, which classical author and/or artist would you say you have the most petty beef with? Not necessarily in a moral sense, but in the sense that you think they're overhyped, have dumb takes, etc.

I admit that Dickens rubs me the wrong way a bit.

Don’t get me wrong, the guy shone a light on important social issues of the day, he had original ideas and he could turn a phrase. All that said though, I always found his stories a bit… coincidental. The world always felt small with everyone secretly related to one another or whatever. I’m probably just being a pedant though since I liked Alexander Dumas and he was another of the paid-by-the-word novelists.

do you have a favorite shakespeare play?

I once got to see The Tempest with Patrick Stewart as Prospero. Let’s just say it made an impression.

Always had a soft spot for The Scottish Play though.

What’s your favourite type of triangle?

5-Cell.

Hey Alex!! Been a big fan of yours for a while and I wanted to ask,

Who's your favorite NPC in rqg to voice?

Cheers!!

Probably Einstein. Fun fact though I was saving my terrible Goillum, Gurgy and Christopher Walken impressions for characters but never got a good enough opportunity. (Barret nearly had Christopher Walken’s voice )

Hello Alex! Out of pure curiosity, what are your thoughts about mint chocolate ice cream?

Nice but not nicest.

Opinions on Rollercoasters?

Yes please.

Fun fact: Due to queuing weirdness I was refused entry to Nemesis in Alton Towers because I had ridden it so many times in such a short space of time that I was “at a non-negligible risk of an embolism.”

Hey Alex! I was watching some of the bts in the rusty bits and came across the timelapse of you guys setting up the studio. I know it was a wile ago now but has this/will this ever be realeased in a full version? You mentioned at the beggining talking through how you set up a studio and the tech involved. As someone looking to go into the recording industry i think seeing the process would be really interesting.

I honestly don’t remember if there is any more to show… I know that I recorded a tour but no idea what happened to the footage (I thought it was already released).

As with most of these things, I’m hoping to make a guide at some point but it’ll probably be a long time as it’s not a high priority due to other work.

what is the creepiest part of the human body, according to you?

The belly button.

It is the origin of you.

As an embryo you grow out from there meaning once upon a time your face and your belly button were the same thing.

Also fun fact from someone who has had surgery in that area, all the nerve endings for your belly button are actually spread all over the place making pain responses in the area super weird.

It has no real function after birth, is hardwired into your nervous system and let’s not forget WAS A HOLE THAT CONNECTED YOU TO YOUR MOTHER THROUGH BLOOD.

Seems pretty straightforward to me.

Whats your favorite saw trap?

I have never seen any Saw film. No shade, they just don’t interest me enough for me to have gotten around to them. As a general rule for me, the more gore, the less I am interested. Sam reason I never saw hostel or human centipede (and don’t worry, I am not considering these all equivalent)

Hello boss man sir, I was wondering what your favourite subject was in school? (This question is merely just for fun)

I was always a bit of an all-rounder. I used to put in a lot of extra time into Design Technology though (woodwork/metal work/ foundary/ shop class/ CADCAM etc.).

It helped that my teacher liked me because I came up with weird over-ambitious ideas.

Do you have any clothes other than suits? If so, what’s the go-to?

I own some steel. armor, 2 cloaks, medical scrubs and multiple pairs of socks. I tend to wear the socks most. Hope that helps.

What's your go-to karaoke song? (In case you don't have one, what's one song that you like singing that fires you right up?)

Hmmmm. I do a pretty mean phantom of the opera?

heyooo!!! i was recommended to read vurt by you a while back, and i finally finished it! what a crazy book, i really enjoyed it :) do you have any more suggestions?

The Windsinger Trilogy

Roadside Picnic

Children of time

The machine gunners

The Count of Monte Christo

Project Hail Mary

The Shape of things to Come

The Dark Tower

Monstrous Regiment

American Gods

Strange and Norrel

The Prince

The Art of War

Havamal

Beowulf

Children of Men

Abhorsen trilogy

Bartimeous Trilogy

The Dark magician trilogy

The Belgariad

The Mask of the Red Death

Lanark a life in four books

The Knowledge

Neuromancer

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

The poetry of Gérard Manley Hopkins

I hope that tides you over for a bit.

Which TMA avatar do you think you could beat in a fight and which one would you never under no circumstances want to ever fight

I reckon I can take Callum Brodie as he appeared in Archives. (If he grew up though I am screwed!). (Also I am aware that beating up a child isn’t great PR but since you asked.)

I would never want to fight any of them though. That’s sort of the point.

Thoughts on the green goblin or goblins in general

1. Dafoe’s portrayal is absolutely iconic. A masterclass in deranged Villainy I am 100% here for.
2. I was actually a fan of the Raimi Spiderman films (especially 2) and really liked Goblin’s costume in that.
3. As a kid I preferred the Hobgoblin because he got that mega-glider with all the bells and whistles.
4. Goblins in general interest me although I am looking for a new take on them. The current “Goblin’s are actually nice”TM is getting a little old with me now. I’m more interested in them as still not nice but like, in an interesting/coherent way?
   
   (To be clear if nice gobbos are your think obviously fill your boots it’s not bad I am just always craving novelty I guess.)

How was it that in a podcast with some of the grossest sound effects I've ever had the pleasure of listening to, the sound of kissing was where you and Johnny drew the line? It's just funny to me xD

Because kissing is gross.

Well I mean, all human processes are gross but kissing… blerg.

Jokes aside, it’s hard to explain. I guess it is worse hearing something that is meant to sound nice and isn’t than something that was meant to sound bad from the start.

Certainly enough listeners agreed that I think I am onto something here, not sure yet.

why did you turn replies off on all your posts :(

Just trying to cut down on random haters. I set it to allowing fans to reply if they have followed me for a week. If this is some enormous Tumblr faux pas I was not aware of do let me know.

Your earth customs are strange to me.

Heyo! Folks be sending all sorts of questions so I'll give it a shot.

So you're a Star Trek fan right? Have you been watching and/or enjoying the newer series? Or are you partial to the older ones? (I'm the latter, ive preferred TNG, DS9 and Voyager best.) But if you're also enjoying the newer stuff I'd be curious about your thoughts on 'em?

So I admit I have fallen off on Star Trek recently and my opinions on star trek in general are often considered… controversial.

TOS: It’s fine I guess.

Next Gen: Good although a good chunk of season 1 and anything to do with Tasha Yar is less good. (Not because of Tasha’s Character or performance just the writing for her feels a bit tone deaf at times to a modern ear.)

DS9: I have bounced off this again and again. Never made it past about 10 episodes. I dunno why, I’ve watched worse without complaint. I wonder if it is to do with the religious portrayals, as these are the things I most struggle with in Sci Fi due to my own bias getting in the way.

Voyager: Wonderful once it finds its feet. I married the woman who was the closest to Janeway I could find in the real world. Coffee addiction, war scowl and all.

Discovery: Watched season 1 and enjoyed, subsequent seasons nI haver not had chance to view consistently due to UK licensing and not being able to afford every streaming platform.

Lower Decks: Frigging brilliant, no notes, but again I am behind as I haven’t the budget for additional media purchases right now.

Brave New Worlds: I couldn’t say. I hear good things but again, fragmented streaming is an expense I can’t justify right now.

Picard: Mixed. I was okay with the premise and S1 had it’s moments although it was harder to get through than I thought which is weird since it had so many components I liked. I dropped off with the introduction of seven of nine as I feel the character was done a bit dirty and with Protocol entering preproduction I had to prioritise my time and Picard didn’t spark enough joy to continue. I may return to it.

Star Trek films: Far too much to cover here. TLDR much like bond movies it swings between good and bad but I’ll always have a soft spot for any iteration of Kahn and I have seen First Contact most.

TLDR: Seen a bunch, not all, Voyager is my fave despite the well known flaws.

When you're writing do characters come first or situations?

It’s funny I haven’t really formalised my process in years.

Generally I go:

1) Conceit
2) Core Character outlines
3) research
4) plot premise
5) plot structure
6) Side characters
7) Scenic Breakdown
8) Draft 1

But I don’t have a hard and fast system right now so your mileage may vary. Especially since I also bounce back and forth between layers organically as it grows.

I know you probably can’t answer because of spoilers, but is there any chance you could confirm we don’t hear any harm done to children in Protocol? Jack’s introduction has set me a bit on edge, things happening to kids is a huge trigger for me.

Happy to answer this one. We are following the same rules as Archives, if you are introduced to an animal or child as a character, (basically if they are named) they will be all right in the end. They may encounter peril but will not be harmed. (see ep 19 as an example).

what is your favourite history fact?

1) Napoleon was a big fan of fax machines.

2) the pyramids were older to the Ancient Romans than the Romans are to us now.

3) One of the oldest pieces of written language is a complaint about a huckster.

4) The Antikythera

5) “Sea People” came and wiped out a lot of ancient cultures. Obviously they weren’t all Atlanteans but what if right!?

Hello!! This question is a bit out of the blue, but have you ever done any kind of theater acting or live performance work before? You're a very talented voice actor, so I'm curious if you've been on stage before too!

I'm aware that voice acting and theater acting are both VERY different and that some people thrive in one and not the other, but as someone who has done both, I'm curious if you've done the same :>

Yes I did a bunch of drama as a teen and in early 20s before I got into directing and my directing career started with Live Comedy. I also did a bunch of auditions but TV and Film but was always too short for roles!

which one would win: a billion lions or one of every pokemon?

1 of every pokemon. Easily. One of them is literally god apparently.

After last episode I was wondering if you guys were Fullmetal Alchemist fans??

Yes and the references are intentional.

for the sake of your comfort and preferences of course, please feel free to ignore this one. But, if you're okay answering, where does your accent come from in England? I've been trying to place it because I'm practicing for a voice acting role, and they want something like your accent. If I can look up more examples from your region it would help greatly. Thanks! Have a lovely day, bossman!

Hah so I get this one a lot.

I grew up in the Greater Manchester area but my accent is not mancunian. I have a very specific regional accent from the area of Stockport.

Years ago I worked to reduce it because a BBC recruiter told me I’d have to move to London and lose my accent to get work. Then they made Salford a BBC production centre and prioritised regional personalities. (remember, just be yourself kids!)

My original accent is now returning since I moved back up to the rural north and if I’m not careful I am starting to drop my “h"s

Have you ever given any thought to the “what does John collect in his free time” question? I’ve heard chess pieces, stamps, etc., but I was wondering if you had any silly interjections on this topic.

Barbie dolls, perhaps?

John collects scars.

Hi Alex! Really enjoyed episode 20, wondering if the feelings on parasocial relationships were somewhat autobiographical? It’s always an interesting and relevant topic in our world. Thanks ☺️

So that case was actually primarily written by Jonny with me as Editor. The character was always going to be engaging with that side of modern culture and I can’t speak for Jonny but it’s definitely not autobiographical at my end. I’ve said before, I am more afraid of the cruelty of modern fandoms and influencers than I am empowered by it. At best I could maybe argue I have more of an insight than your average joe but that’s not saying much.

Hiya bossman! I just started my very long stay in London, and I was wondering if you had any “Alex’s Favorite London Treats” tips or any cool spots you know of to check out. I need to find some cool things to do!! Preferably not tacky tourism stuff because I am better than that (but will probably be forced to do so eventually).

Here are some suggestions for things I have either done, or always wanted to:

> The Vault
> Archery Tag at Canada Water
> labyrinth larp (Chislehurst Caves)
> Highgate Cemetary
> Crossness Pumping Station
> The Hunterian Museum
> Wellcome Collection
> London Postal Museum
> St. Dunstan in-the-east (filmed there before)
> Leadenhall Market (during holidays)
> Camden Stables (the deepest bit)
> Cyberdog
> The Salt Tower (Tower of London)
> Gordon’s Wine Bar

Bonus points:
There is a secret abandoned ghost train underneath/beside the Tower of London that is not open to the public due to being super dangerous. Good luck being granted access but it’s particularly creepy if you are into that kind of thing.

Hello!

I am a giant nerd who keeps podcasts in a spreadsheet and know many other nerds who keep podcasts in a spreadsheet so my question to you is: do you keep your to-listens and listened-tos in a spreadsheet? If so, do you have a favorite spreadsheet function?

Have a lovely day, good sir!

PS my favorite part is conditional formatting and I am happy to provide screenshots if requested

I do not really keep reading lists of any kind anymore. They always grow too fast and make me feel bad.

That said, conditional formatting is the superior option and I will brook no counter arguments on the matter.

Would you rather fight a dozen chicken sized horses or 3 horse sized chickens?

You do get 30 mins of prep time but so do your opponentz

Anyone who does not select the chicken sized horses has never been on a farm.

1) horses are cowards and making them smaller will only make that more pronounced. They might actually. Be scared to death.

2) Chickens are psychotic micro-raptors who live only for destruction. To grant them such size is madness and to fight then is hubris. Flee, flee the feathered ones for their talons are as quick as their tempers.

so two questions, one is serious you have to guess which is which

1. Do you play any mmos and if so why is it final fantasy xiv online and
2. are you and/or any other representatives of RQ going to be at Worldcon this year?

So I don’t play MMOS.

Back in the day I played Runescape then Guild Wars which I enjoyed.

I quit them due to poor impulse control and losing a lot of time to them.

I have tried to go back to them a few times but I bounce off them now. They all feel very grindy to me.

I do however adore Balder’s Gate 3 with friends.

If you are inclined to answer, what are some good things to know about farm animal behavior?

I live in bear country, so if you ever visit the American west, here is my tip:

Black bears are pretty chill unless you do something profoundly stupid. That being said, if you ever see a BABY black bear, gtfo IMMEDIATELY.

Anyways thank you for your time, big fan of your work!

Cows are a lot more dangerous than you think and sheep can be really aggressive if they want to be. Cats are actually useful on a farm and sheep dogs are the most amazing animals you will ever see working.

hey king what brand of tea do u drink

Just hot water for me thanks.

So did you grow up on a farm or just sorta in farm country?
If you did, what sort of farm was it animal/production-wise?

American here, so not sure if farming setups are different in the UK then they are here, hence my curiosity

I grew up in farm country but am not a farm kid myself. Generally speaking farms in the UK are either much smaller than in the US or the land is still owned by a Lord. (which is a whole thing)

Hi Alex, saw the livestream got cancelled, hope you’re doing ok!

I was wondering- did you and Jonny meet in a civil service job, or private sector? Because there’s a lot in protocol that’s very accurate. (Just started a CS job). Of course this could just be your sterling research skills, but even in archives I wondered if there was direct experience informing the fiction.
Though, theres a lot of overlap in dumb jargon for private and CS. I will absolutely punch a hole in my computer if Lena tells Gwen she has to engage in agile thinking 😒

thanks for your time 🙂

So the O.I.A.R. is entirely based on the jobs that Jonny and I held when we first met. It was private sector but all of it, the weird job interview, the ancient computers, the unnecessary night work, even the location of the offices is all pretty damn accurate. The only difference is that what we had to summarise, whilst still horrifying, was much more late-stage capitalism horror stories than murderous puppets or whatever.

In terms of civil service stuff, I do my research and know plenty of people who work there.

Weirdly enough I suppose that means that if I was Sam (since I joined later) and Jonny was Alice (in that he was weirdly acclimatised already) that would mean that Sam and Alice both quit to make horror podcasts about their time at… oh god. I’ve gone all recursive.

howdy! u have to sing an entire song from start to finish, no mistakes, no cop out songs (like the alphabet, twinkle twinkle little star) - what do u pick?

The Millionaire by Dr. Hook.

My dad would play their “completely Hooked” album every morning to the point I am word perfect on every song:

Spotify Embed

(Bet you weren’t expecting that!)

You are turned into a bird. What kind do you become? Do you deliver wisdom, collect shiny things, swoop people or just hop around hoping that people drop breadcrumbs?

An enormous, overly intelligent Raven who turns up as an incredibly ominous omen at inappropriate moments.

Toddler’s Birthday party?
Raven Me: “Beware!”

Got that big promotion?
Raven Me: “Beware!”

On a first date?
Raven Me: “Beware!”

The only time I‘ve ever seen a cow is when I went to my family’s cow farm in Munkwolstrup when I was four so forgive me if I‘m being crass, but what do you mean by „cows are more dangerous than they seem“

It’s incredibly ominous to say the least, considering I‘m already scared of horses.

So as with most dangerous animals, it’s often human error.

Thanks to selective breeding, domestic cows are very, VERY strong and hearding them mostly involves convincing them they are weak when in fact they can easily stomp you.

Now imagine you are a mummy cow and someone is walking through your field with an uncontrolled dog harassing your child. You try to warn it away and the owner comes over to intervene. Finally you push them both away only to discover you are as strong as the hulk and didn’t realise.

Accidents happen.

Not casting aspersions or anything it’s just as with anything, you are taking a risk when you don’t treat something with respect.

Hey Alex, any favorite dnd classes/advice on what class I should play? I get to play for the first time in ages next week but I'm getting decision paralysis about my character--they'll probably be a tiefling, but I don't know after that.

You seriously do not want to play the kind of builds I come up with. I tend to make what I call Novelty Pocketwatch characters: expensive and mechanically complicated with a weak comedic payoff.

For instance, my first instinct is a shadow monk /lore bard multiclass. A socially anxious skill hoarder who can solve any situation but hates being observed doing so.

See what I mean?