I’m going to send a suggestion to Welcome to Night Vale that they closed caption their announcement/special feature videos but in the meantime, here’s a transcript of the special announcement posted on their new YouTube channel yesterday:
All: Hi, I’m [all say their own names and positions at the same time] of Welcome to Night Vale.
Joseph Fink: We have some big news for you! But first, hey, look! We have a YouTube channel, and we sort of even understand how YouTube works, maybe? This will be another place where you can listen to all of our episodes, going all the way back to the pilot. So just subscribe to this channel below, and new episodes will be added here on the 1st and 15th of every month, same as they are on iTunes and Stitcher and Podbay and Soundcloud and wherever else you listen to us.
Dylan Marron: Plus, get this! We’ll be making special behind the scenes bonus videos, like this one, to answer your questions and to show you a little bit about how Night Vale is made. Plus, we’ll be making some really big announcements, like this one. Jeffrey?
Jeffrey Cranor: Right. Here’s the big news. This spring, in March, April, and May, we are going on a huge tour of the United States, to over 40 different cities, with a brand new script that no one has ever heard before, and featuring live music by Disparition. And also, some surprise guests. [Whispers] Like Dylan!
Meg Bashwiner: Tickets go on sale January 23rd at noon local time, and if you remember from the last time we came through town, our tickets sell pretty quick, so please don’t wait. I’ll be there, and I can’t wait to see each and every one of you in person very soon.
Cecil Baldwin: It’ll just be your ears, my voice, a stage, a microphone, and several hidden surveillance cameras. So it’ll be both fun and entertaining! So go to welcometonightvale.com on January 23rd to purchase those tickets.
Stay tuned next for all-new episodes and exciting new bonus content right here on this YouTube channel, so be sure to subscribe below. Thank you very much, everybody, and I’ll see you this spring.
And, as always, goodnight, YouTube. Goodnight.
Joseph Fink, as screen fades to black: I can’t do it anymore. Cameras are terrifying!
Someone else, not sure who: Too long.
Dylan Marron: Guys, I think that was it!