i know asking the meaning of art is sometimes frowned upon, so feel free to ignore this if you want, but with your last shadowgast piece, is the meaning like, essek is able to accept his past so he can be steady to comfort caleb, but caleb isn't able to accept his own past just yet?
asking the artist for the meaning in their art might be frowned upon, and there is the death of the author thing and the find your own answers thing and the authors like to praise their own genius thing yadda yadda yadda but who is judging us? god? we can consider this my own meta show or a director’s dvd commentary, it’s fine. i don’t mind sharing some of my thought process, for this particular piece at least. 🤭
(the thing is that for me, when i create an illustration i definitely want the viewer to experience it on its own first (that often includes the paratext, such as the caption that goes alongside it). not in the least because the first impression a person gets of a piece of media, as well as the interpretation they lean into as they analyze it, is usually the one that speaks to them most and is most congruent with their experiences and existing notions (as well as existing interpretations and headcanons if we’re talking about a piece of fanart!). which, quite often, turns out to be one of the most compelling and evokes the most emotion, and which, coincidentally, is what i happen to want as well. so if anyone who is reading this would like to stay with their initial impression of that piece, you’re free to stop reading here! but if you’re curious about some of the context, you’re welcome to proceed.)
as for your question: hmm you’re quite quite close to the topic, but that wasn’t exactly my intention! my idea was to portray the weight and pain of the right decision. Caleb didn’t regret destroying the t-dock, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt or that he didn’t need to grieve the parents he’d never buried, and the future he thought he would have. i used Essek’s words in the caption (though modified, to refer to the destruction of the t-dock chamber) because they both symbolically killed a part of their identity in that room. Essek gave up the all-consuming obsessive side of his hunger for knowledge, which in itself had been fueled by the rejection he’d experienced from his family and home, and Caleb refused to give in to the guilt that had defined his actions for half of his life. Caleb chose the future over the past, and Essek chose another person.
Caleb still has his spellbook and his book of letters in front of him, his vault of amber that opens with the name of his mother. Essek is still hesitant and awkward at and clinical about comforting others. but Caleb chose to fall apart not in his small, uncomfortable, guilt-ridden bedroom, but in the salon where Essek could easily find him, and Essek chose to be there, unsure whether he was allowed to intrude, but willingly offering connection he’d always been reluctant to give in the past.
i think for the longest time, Essek only saw his own value in how much he knew and how skilled he was, and i don’t think he has ever felt like a person that someone would want to turn to in a moment of grief. i think that’s partly why he offered Caleb his help in the t-dock with such desperation, even though he considered the endeavor to be a terrible idea,—he believed that his intelligence was the only thing of worth that he could give to a person he loves.
while Caleb i don’t think has lived much of his teenage and adult life without thinking, constantly, consciously or in the back of his head, “it’s hard for a son to be away from his mother” and “i will never be the brave and honorable man my father was”.
what is Essek after he’s abandoned the knowledge in that chamber? what is Caleb if he can’t be a good son? i think in a way, they’re both comforting each other in that picture, in the safety and warmth of a home where they can heal, after the loss of the person they used to be.
Hi! I’ve been wanting to cosplay eisselcross!Essek for a while, and i absolutely love your design for his outfit! May I use your design as primary inspiration? (It’s still in the planning stages so idk yet how directly I would pull from it)
(The design I’m referring to: https://www.tumblr.com/just-a-funny-little-brain/716872067977494529 )
hi!
oh gosh i’ve been meaning to redraw that one for ages, i totally botched those colors 😂 it appears very pink on my phone and that’s been killing me since i originally posted it even though i really like it otherwise. please for my peace of mind just know that that outfit was supposed to be iridescent white and very light gray, not pink 😂
but in any case, i’m really really honored you’re considering making it and/or pulling some inspiration from it for your cosplay! if you do, i’d love to see it so feel free to tag me/send me a link if you ever post it. thank you for messaging me and asking for permission first!
Hi I think your art is fantastic and stunning and amazing and incredible and I just wanted to come scream about it in your ask box, thank you for sharing your beautiful beautiful artworks with us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you for these kind words!! 🥺
is the AU that the mighty nein just own two wizard cats or did they get turned into cats
kinda the former! my idea was just a plain old cat au where the wizards are just cats. no polymorph or otherwise magical shenanigans. they live with jester and a long-suffering allergic fjord but honestly with how much the rest of the nein are in each other’s business they’re everyone’s cats. veth picks up strays and rehabilitates/fosters them and then finds them a nice loving home, which is how caleb got adopted by jester. essek already lived with her at the time, did the whole politely avoiding caleb for two weeks and being displeased that he’s not the only cat in the house anymore thing, and now they’re in love. that kinda stuff. there’s barely any plot to this au, only brainworms. tbh i just wanna draw my ship cuddling as kitties, and have fun adapting some canon events and traits to a whimsical au. here’s a revamped meme to spruce up my answer
*seeing random videos of grey and orange cats*
https://x.com/buitengebieden/status/1714366954721436044?s=46&t=RC5UBN4PVaHiT1giXyYBMg
before your art: oooh cute cats 🥹
after your art: IT'S THEM!
anyway thank you for your cute art!
hehe you’re welcome!!
i’m pretty sure i’ve actually seen those cats before (though a different video) and gone oh those are perfect for my shadowgast brainworms. greatly enjoyed the tiny cheek smooch in this one, thank you for sending it to me
Have you ever posted about your process for choosing colours? You have a masterful grasp on colour and light.
thank you! and i have a little bit, you can find some posts on that in my #zmeess progress shots and #zmeess art advice tags. please take them with a grain of salt, i’m pretty sure there’s some stuff there that i’ve learned to do differently since i posted those \o/
hello!! I've been in a huge dnd kick again with baldur's gate 3 and jjk s2 has been coming out so of course I was drawn back to one of the best jjk au's ever, your dnd jjk au and I was wondering if you'd considering finishing with the rest of the characters? I'd be very curious to know what you think yuji and nanamin and geto would be in that setting :3 love your art as always, take care!! 💖💖
hi, thank you!!
god i can’t believe someone still remembers/wants to see more of my dnd jjk au, my dnd aus have always felt like such a niche self-indulgent thing to me 😂 i’d actually almost completed it, the only other character i was planning to draw was yuuji and i’m not totally sure why i didn’t but it might have had something to do with figuring out his class features. and then things happened in my life and i never came back to it. i think i was planning to multiclass the hell out of champion fighter and fiend warlock for him but we will never know now cause i’ve just checked my roll20 and apparently i’ve lost all my jjk character sheets that i’d been building on there 🫠 oh well, it’s been a couple of years
HOWEVER holy damn jjk s2 is out? thanks for letting me know cause i don’t really keep up with any fandom news ever and i haven’t been active in the jjk fandom in a while 😂 maybe watching s2 will get me back into that au, i have truly forgotten so many ideas i had for it, especially for the characters i hadn’t been planning to draw 🥲 i need to start writing my shit down, i never do and it comes back to bite me in the butt eventually
for your trouble i can say that nanami is a wizard just like gojo is and gojo pesters him with sendings eight billion times a day detailing how he will use his army of young adult delinquents to overthrow the government nanami is working for
your use of color always just blows me away, it’s so good
thank you so much!!
